Saturday, October 20, 2007

In the dark

How does one handle the fear of becoming a nobody in life?
Of being dissolved into nothingness...
Of chosing the inappropriate course...
Of not being able to listen to one's heart well enough, because its not loud enough, and not being able to see the vision in one's mind clear enough, because its blurry...

Sometimes its just not enough how much ever you try. Maybe it never is. And its impossible to blame destiny, or anything or anyone else. Because you know theres something missing, and its too late to change it. And its not right to give up. But you feel like it. And then you're told its just the beginning...

If only...If only, i could hear that inner calling loud and clear. If only i could get myself to steer my ship myself, and in the right direction. If only this confused state of mind could disappear when i wake up tomorrow morning, and a new perspective, a new plan, could infest my mind and get me working. If only...

I've been told time and again that i do alot of thinking that almost always ends up in nothing. Maybe that is actually true. But what's there to execute when the thinking's not over? Or cant be over?

Yours"looking for the light"ly
Signing off...