Rhapsody

The forgotten song

2011-07-31T01:20:00.000-07:00

I'm cheating this time. This one's a mix of a lot of previous ones. I wrote it a while back (or compiled it, maybe) and thought I should put it up. But mostly, its something that came out of a re-visit to the soul stirring Confluence of Elements by Bombay Jayashri.

....................................................................................................................

...sounds like dew drops in the morning...

She heard an echo inside her head and opened her eyes. It was still pitch dark. The sound of moving vehicles filled her ears. She had moved into a house near the highway and soon got used to the noise. But what about the silence inside her? Was she getting used to that too? She didn’t want to think about it. She sat up and opened her eyes wider. They pierced the darkness and looked ahead into...nothingness - an empty room, empty walls, and empty shelves, all reflecting her emptiness. She did not want to think of that either. She opened her window and stared up into the heavens. The clouds were moving lazily, engulfing the stars with their transparent greyness, and the wind was swishing swiftly, as if beckoning the drizzle to join it on a mysterious odyssey. It all looked like some sort of celestial dance to music she couldn’t really hear. She thought she was being teased by the forces of nature. She closed her eyes, and her face remained tilted towards the open skies, as if she were awaiting the return of the breeze. She thought she could finally hear the music...the melancholies of broken promises and broken hearts, of unwritten poems and unsung songs.

...sounds like dew drops in the morning...

The words hit her again, this time with a fresh dose of nostalgia, of happier times, when there was music in place of the silence. She could not lose herself to music anymore. In fact, she could not lose herself to anything other than the abyss of silence and emptiness within her. She picked up her bag and reached for the little present Vedha had given her. ‘Listen to it,’ she had said, her eyes full of concern. She looked at it for the first time. Confluence of Elements, the title read, with a picture of the singer Bombay Jayashri Ramnath looking so admirably peaceful with the tambura in her hands. It was her that Vedha had described a long time ago as having a voice like dew drops in the morning. ‘No wonder my mind kept bringing the words back,’ she thought. She didn’t believe this could do anything, but she thought she might try. Just for her friend.

Jagadhodharana...She let the music play and walked to the balcony. She recognised the Kapi raagam which would have instantly called to her some time ago, but today, she felt nothing. She heard the beautiful voice and the contemporary music, so different from the traditional instruments used for Carnatic music, she thought. Moments into the music she found her mind wandering into the shadows of the past, like the divine tune was mere background music in the stage of her life. She found it amusing, that nothing pulled her heart’s strings anymore. Was she all stone now? She wondered. The notes from the strings of the Sarangi reached her ears, bringing with them beats from a Tabla and a tune from the flute, so light, she thought it could be floating. She felt so full of her of emptiness, it was overflowing. Slowly, she found herself rising and falling with the notes...like waves in her ocean of voids. She heard it now, like a revelation brought to her by the breeze... Purandhara Vitalana the voice was singing. There was a sudden power in the immensely soulful voice that was claiming her undivided attention...pulling her towards it...demanding that she doesn’t ignore it. She didn’t understand the lyrics, but she could feel the chills running down her spine; she had to hold on to something to stop her hands from trembling.

Now there she was listening like never before; the piano, the guitar and the mesmerising voice that was singing her pain, her heart-wrenching pain. She felt a little less solid, like melting butter... a little less composed and a little more tranquil at the same time. She was running madly through a maze, and could finally find her way out... The whole world was in a swirl, and there she could finally witness the dance of life...a slow dance, in perfect harmony with everything, waltzing its way to the inner core of her very being. And somewhere within the enticing force that was music, there was surrender...there was rapture...there was a feeling of being consumed by the unknown, and a desire never to return. And a thousand heartbreaks burst out in a single tear, which remained in her eye for a moment, glistening, making the stars twinkle more than usual. She let it roll down and take with it a sea of despair...all her pain... all that made her deaf to music...all the silence that consumed her...like that single tear just drenched her and cleansed every bit of her disturbed soul. Every note she heard was a part of a beautiful story...was an escape from what had been...was ethereal glue that brought broken pieces together...was her truth revealing itself...was a realm of almost-attainable liberation. Moksham.

The music eventually stopped playing. She stared into the rising sun which was sincerely painting the skies fiery shades of orange and pink...she smiled. She was back from what felt like a journey. She thought of life, its blacks and whites, and its more prominent greys...isn’t life like a musical composition? It has its ascending portions and its descending portions, its high notes and its low notes, its flat notes and its flowery notes... and each one of them comes, and goes, giving way to other notes because if they don’t, there cannot be a musical piece. And at the end, what stays with us is not a single note, but the song itself, to which every note counts...

She walked into the kitchen and threw some tea leaves into hot water. She felt strangely serene, mildly inspired. She could still hear the pleading tones of the Sarangi, they were tugging at her heart. She found herself humming a song in the Kapi raagam while she brought the cup up to her mouth and sipped her tea. It smelled of hope.

Yours "block!" ly

Signing off....

Within

2011-02-25T14:35:00.005-08:00

They had shared a peculiar bond. One which was, but was not. One which had lulled its way into her life many a time, remained silent, lurking, suddenly appearing around the corner. They had walked together through the dark shadow, and another, and another... but when all was bright, sunny and happy, they knew it would become fickle again. One of them would depart, and they would forget each other, only to be thrown together again amidst the next dark shadow. But who sought who?

She looked for him sometimes, when he vanished. But she forgot. It was easy to forget, and get busy with other mundane things. It was easier now than it was a few years back. She had the power to beckon him, to question him, to hold his hand, or let him hold hers. That is how it used to be. But now she had come too far, or so she thought. He had walked away voluntarily. She had let him go, voluntarily. But why didn't she look for him? She waited for the shadows. The shadows had always brought him back. But the shadows came and danced around her, changed the air and slowed her down. She walked on, tried not to succumb. She walked alone, without him. She fought the shadows, without him. She left the shadows behind, without him. And then she reached the bright, sunny and happy place, and as it would be, she forgot about him. Forgot that he hadn't been there this time.

She went so close to him sometimes, but he still wasn't there. She matched his smile with hers, but he had something more hidden behind those eyes. Was he teasing her? Refusing to acknowledge her? Why was he so evasive?

She stared at the trees outside her window - leafless branches perched on a pale white background, a clouded sky. The stillness smelled of his absence. She saw him everywhere, but he was nowhere. She wondered how long this separation would last. Could she live the rest of her life without him? Would she have to? What could she do if he chose to stay away?

But what if she was getting it all wrong? Maybe she was hiding from him. Maybe he couldn't find her. Maybe he was waiting for her too. Maybe she wasn't looking in the right places. Maybe she had to let herself go, stop thinking, stop searching, stop questioning...

She sat cross legged on the floor. A tea cup beside her. She imagined she could hear the sound of the tambura being played in a single pitch, repeatedly. It was a familiar sound. Perhaps, the most relaxing sound. She sipped her tea slowly. This time, it tasted of sweet hope. She sat up straight, closed her eyes, and began to sing...

Kannan mugam marandhu ponaal, indha kangal irandu payan unndo?

Yours "Find it. keep it."ly
Signing off...

Chapters

2011-01-28T17:15:00.003-08:00

So much has changed, without much changing. I have moved on, with parts of me still hanging behind. Here and there. Everywhere.

You never really leave a place. You never really leave people. You never really forget anything entirely. You have left chunks of yourself all over, at different cities you lived in, with different people, that it is sometimes impossible to just be at one place, with one person, even though you actually are. Of course it is all inside the head. But isn't that enough sometimes? Because memories are flawless. Because memories don't really change, even if the people in them do. Because they remain... and sometimes they're so lucid, so alive, that they seem more real than the real, truer than the truth. And that is what sometimes makes it impossible to listen to some song without thinking of a person...without being transported to another place and time.

I meant to write about so many things during my little Australian odyssey. Not the big life-changing happenings. The little things. The ones I will forget in a few months. Never got around to it. Even though I can remember vividly even now, the lone violin player I saw seated on a bench under a tree by the road while I was riding the bus...as if it were a scene out of a movie - the music in my ears substituting for the notes I couldn't hear come out of his violin. Watching smokers outside No.12 Creek street, a work culture that seemed so different from lab research! Almost like I could feel the pressure of the people bustling to work just by watching them. So much like Tokyo was, a few days later. The joy of cooking. Walking on Park road so many times with Niv, staring at the pricey restaurants we never ended up eating at. Weekly Soccer. Endless...

So today we toast to significant and not-so-significant memories. To finished chapters of never-ending stories. To the smiles and laughter that were, and will be. To new beginnings. To change. To dilemmas, ever so puzzling. To the unknown future, and the people who have walked and are walking with us towards it.

Chapters...that's what they are.

Yours "In another life, but not really" ly
Signing off...

Enna solli Azhaithaal, Varuvaayo?

2010-10-09T08:28:00.008-07:00

I will always remember...

That walkman by his ear, singing to him in all intensity, the panthuvarali ragam...and many other ragams, the depth of which I will never understand the way he did...such love for carnatic music.
His unfailing faith...a gift not many are blessed with...
The three stripes of grey vibuthi eternally on his forehead...
His love for coffee, and rasam made with the apt amount of perungaayam...
His teethy smile...
His willingness to be photographed! No fusses about wearing santa caps or birthday hats for the picture... just that smile, time and again...
His childish excitement, each time he wore a new shirt...The way he squeezed the oil out of a vaazhakaai bajji using a dinamalar newspaper, claiming it absorbs much better than the english newspapers!
His Mandira bedi and Kareena Kapoor fancy!
His hilarious comments on every actor and politician...like he was the representative of 'tea-kadai-bench' for Upasana!
His everyday NDTV profit stock market checks...
How he spoke to me about a particular part of a book again and again, each time sounding like he was telling me about it for the first time...
His stories from travels around south india, and the awesome food he ate back then - Oru dosai, Oru Kaapi :)
How he was so bad at Maths...he managed to score in geometry, but hated algebra...and always talked about the 'maadu mekara' problem, where he had to calculate the circumfrence of a field based on the distance a cow tethered to a post walked around it!
The million times he mentioned that Paati got more marks than him in 12th std!
His love for Badam Halwa, and digestive biscuits... plain milk chocolate and little bits of velam...
Dining table conversations with him, and the brothers...about how they're all meant to marry only Iyers, Iyengars or Rao's! :)
His absolute non-necessity for the air-conditioning...! And his claims about feeling cold under the fan in the hot Chennai weather!
His tech-saviness! Good enough to read gossip on 'kumudam reporter' on the internet!
Him being paranoid about locking the house every night!
Him closing his mouth with his hand saying 'vaai ilaa poochi' after passing some mocking comment about someone, or after saying something not entirely appropriate about the taste of the food at the table! Aah... an everyday act which always called for laughter, and attempts to provoke him to say more, much to Paati's wrath!
His rare attempt to help in cooking! Which went as far as holding the dosai thiruppi...and once, somewhere close to chopping spinach!
His idea of getting rid of the 'bangu' notes first! (the 10Rs bills that were torn and old!)
His wonderful knack of never forcing an issue...never imposing his opinion...or giving his advice... unless he thinks it is called for...
The influence he has had in 8 very important years of my life...

S. Arunachalam Iyer. My grandfather. The best thatha ever... I cannot describe what exactly thinking of him reminds me of... partly awe for the way he lived his life, and influenced others around him...admiration...smiles...and the lingering sadness, that all we have of him now are these thoughts and some photographs...But even now, I can hear the echo of his voice... of him calling Paati 'Thaaye'...saying his usual 'Ramaa nannu brovara'...trying to sing a part of some Maharajapuram Santhanam Aalaapanai... Upasana will never be the same. We will never be the same...Love you forever. And so the breeze shall sing your song... and we shall reminisce. Cry. Smile. And live on...

Say a little prayer for you...

Kulir Mazhai Kaakka kudai piditha Giridhari...Enna solli Azhaithaal, varuvayo?

Yours "Sarvogya, Brahmarpanamasthu" ly
Signing off...

Melancholy...and Endless-ness

2010-06-08T07:08:00.008-07:00

For a long time now, I have believed that I belong to the category of people who are easily vanquished by the sadness in a song, a book or a movie... rather than the happiness. Sometimes, it almost feels like the happiness imparted by a medium like that is fleeting, but the sadness is not. The sadness tugs at your sleeve, throws an invisible blanket around your heart, leaves you staring into nothingness through misty eyes...and eventually, remains in your mind with that big sigh you heave in that long breath. Its like a melancholic breeze...that lingers...that follows you.

Most of mankind has been designed to constantly adapt. How else do we deal with loss? With change? How else do we live on? That's why we learn to get comfortable...to embrace the unexpected...to find happiness in what we have, and be thankful for it. That's why we have the ability to see layers of complexity in an issue sometimes, but smile at the real simplicity of it all, some other time. And so it shall be, that the people we know, and love, will remain both our lucid waters, and our unsolvable puzzles... and this was beautifully depicted in two movies, in very different ways.

Aniruddha Roy Chowdry's Antaheen and Aparna Sen's The Japanese Wife. The only two Bengali movies I have watched till date... both telling stories of relationships...and how their complexity, or the absence of it, can depend solely on the people involved.

Antaheen, set in the backdrop of busy (or not-so-busy) lives in a city, beautifully depicts a scenario alot of people may be able to relate to today... an outward facade of acceptance, with an inherent knowledge that one is in denial...is living a farce. The Japanese wife is like an intricate painting of life in different shades of grey...each brush stroke depicting helplessness and poverty...and yet, amazing simplicity. It is mildly teasing to realise the striking similarities amidst all the differences. One movie depicts marriage as a complex web of perspectives...and misunderstandings...the answer being separation. The second movie on the other hand portrays how simple a marriage could be, if all that matters is an understanding, and all that is required is an acknowledgement. The first movie outlines the complexity of relationships through a young couple conversing through the internet, clearly in love, hesitating to reveal their identities or their feelings to each other, for the fear of losing it all... while the second movie asserts the possible simplicity of relationships by telling a story of two people who for sheer love, marry each other through letters, and remain so till the end. However, both movies tell of endless waits...for love. And how sometimes we wait a tad too long... and its all gone.

In Antaheen, the melancholy is of people... caught in the web of their thoughts. In Aparna Sen's brave, independent outside... and an inside yearning to go back to her separated husband, who now portrays himself to be cynical and bitter... In Sharmila Tagore's life of singlehood, brought about by phone conversations that suddenly stopped... In Rahul Bose's and Radhika Apte's solace in strangers...In the orange kite, stuck in the antenna... In the wait, that almost ended... but didn't. In the sad truth that life goes on... and if we wait too long, we learn to live with the losses...and the memories the breeze brings.

In the Japanese wife, the melancholy is three fold. There's poverty, helplessness, and... people. There's melancholy in the beauty of the Matla river...and in its unfortunate potential for destruction...there's melancholy in the simplicity of the marriage that binds two quiet, shy people... In a widow's attempt to conceal her beauty, her feelings, her fears... In a poor man's quest to cure the cancer eating his wife...a wife he has never laid eyes on...There's melancholy in the Japanese woman clad in a white saree, holding a white umbrella, showing the world her shaved head...her symbol of devotion to her dead husband... the one she loved, and lived to see... but as fate would have it, never saw. Melancholy... in the japanese kites flying high in the blue indian skies... In a pair of hand-knitted socks that imparted snug happiness...

Thus continues my endless liking for such movies... some melancholy...some bitter-sweet-ness... some smiles... but finally, a blank stare... an irony... a realisation that everything... is personal.

Ajo ache gopon, Pherari mon…
Beje gechhe kakhon, Se telephone…

(The wild escaping mind is still concealed...
When has that telephone ever rung?)

Ps: Please feel free to correct that Bengali translation... I got it off the net :)

Yours " Class...."ly
Signing off...

Saffron

2010-04-27T02:51:00.006-07:00

I read somewhere that the mark of a good book is that it changes every time you read it. I do not know if the same can be said for movies. Some movies drag you back to them, repeatedly, mostly the funny ones, the feel-good ones. Then, there are the other movies, that you do not want to watch more than once. You do not want the impact the movie had on you to change because you have changed. But when you do end up watching a movie like that again, and when you realise that it hits you the same way as it did a few years back, it is an inexplicable feeling...of awe.

I give you Rang De Basanti. Revelations. Causes. Bouts of happiness, all through with a mild undercurrent of poignancy. And eventually, a sad smile, and a lonely tear.

I have read too many posts in the recent past about Rahman's genius, about how he is god, and about how he's always experimenting. So, I shall refrain from talking about him as such. But what his music does to this movie...is something else.

The goosebumps start at Tu bin Bataye. The perfect setting to make anyone yearn for a bunch of friends like that...to make any girl wish she had the look Sonia has in her eyes with her perfect man...to make one wish he/she was throwing leaves down at the happy couple with the rest of the gang. The song is as dream-like as reality can get... floaty bliss... you can't stop smiling at these young people who want to do nothing other than be in each other's company, and savor small nothings in life. Yet at the end of it, when you see seven blurry figures lost in their own world walking arms-around-shoulders into that sunset...your heart grows heavier, and you know that what is easily the happiest moment of the movie, is, but a classic calm before the storm. Mishri ki dali, zindagi ho chali...

Rahman then gives us Luka Chuppi. Prasoon Joshi gives us Luka Chuppi. As if the music of the second half was meant to compete with that of the first half. Wonderfully portrayed. The indian flag folded, and the pistol-shots into the sky...the teary-eyed faces sobbing through the smoke...the white...the devasted mother, hollow eyed, with loss etched all over her face, almost collapsing at the sight of her dead son's trunk...the girl, having lost the man she was meant to marry, pulls out a picture of both of them from his diary...

Kya bataoon maa kahan hoon main, Yahaan udney ko mere khula aasmaan hai...

And then there is fire, burning hard in the eyes of those that care...those who want justice...those that for the first time in their lives, have a cause to believe in, and fight for. Khoon chala adds to the shivers...with the candles and the crowd, the unreasonable assault on believers and the blood shed...and most of all, with each trying to protect the other.

When I watched this movie for the first time, almost 4 years back, one line stayed in my head for a very long time. Sonia's 'Maar dalo...'. And so she said the words... and as friends avenging the death of the best man they ever knew, they found their justice in murder.

And they do not stop there. They tell their fellow citizens what they did, and why they did it. They throw themselves out in the open, ready to face anything, having fulfilled their purpose. And what better than the ascending notes of Robaroo to wrap up the elation neatly? Again, Prasoon Joshi's lyrics can't get better. He says it all by saying so little... DJ dropping his gun in finality, Karan's pain-filled expression relieved in that first hug, and as he looks into DJ's eyes at suraj ko mein nigal gaya...Laxman breaking into tears while hugging Aslam at wo loha tha pighal gaya... beautifully crafted scene, like the director did not want to waste a single word from the song...so carefully overlayed... Sheer brilliance.

And then comes the end... as they die one by one...and we're left with nothing but the echoes of their laughter in our ears. And they walk together from the lush green field into the white light... Its over. They fought for their cause...and in their heads, they won. And how! And you...are left staring at the titles, wondering what really hit you...

I said nothing about the over-lapping freedom struggle portion of this movie...the clever screenplay...and how each one of these students become the character they enact for Su's documentary. It seems so seamlessly done... one could go on and on.

I love this movie more than I did before. I love the music, more than most of Rahman's other albums. Maybe that's because the songs have been stitched so well into the script, that when you listen to them, you are instantly reminded of how the actual scence made you feel, and you love it even more. The simplicity of the lyrics complements every song, every scene...it just makes one so happy to see such good effort, such meticulous balancing...such genius in cinema...and nonetheless, what we always ache for - Inspiration.

Paint it Saffron.

Yours "Chaaya liya bhali dhoop yahaan hai..."ly
Signing off...

Arziyaan

2010-04-10T07:16:00.006-07:00

When music fails to reach the depth of your being...and your ears refuse to acknowledge the sweet song of the breeze...close your eyes. And let me be your melody, in all silence...in all blackness.

When shadows of the bygones seem to jeer at you from the sidelines...and ambiguity of the forthcoming leaves an abominable splash of despair in your perturbed skies...Let me be your rainbow...your dash of colour. Your hope.

When questions swallow you into their whirlwind of complexity...and answers fancy eloping on the chariots of elusion... Let me be your momentary lapse of reason. Your flash of nothingness, that changes it all.

When yesterday is long gone, and tomorrow has finally come...when the spark has returned, and your need to see the light overcomes your fear to let the hidden flame flare...lock in that aching embrace. And let me be that single tear at the corner of your eye. Let me be the memory that will slowly fade.

When you're strolling along your familiar pathway at dusk...and the rays from the west make those silver streaks gleam crimson and yellow ... lift your eyes to that sunset. And let me be your sigh. Let me be your smile. Let me be the reflection of that horizon, stealing daylight from all around...only to give you a sky of sparkling stars.

When the river of hope has been quenched in all ruthlessness...or when serenity surrounds you like a warm blanket of content...look up to the stars. And let me be the one that will fall down slowly from the heavens, for you to wish upon. Let me be the promise. Let me be the love. Let me be...the end.

Arziyaan saari main,
Chehre pe likh ke laaya hoon,
Tum se kya maangu main,
Tum khud hi samajh lo...

Yours "Daraarein Daraarein hain maathe pe maula..."ly
Signing off...

The Eye of the...

2010-03-19T06:46:00.005-07:00

From where comes this sudden calm...? One wonders, if the storm now tired of raging, decided to fade away...or the waters lay still, awaiting the wildest of tempests. And the unnatural tranquility persists... in the unstirring air...in the soundless night...in the languid glimmer of the crescent moon...in the lone red star surrounded by a galaxy of white sparkling stars... in the single line that stands right out of a beautiful song... in the simplicity of a melody, that sounded unreasonably complex before the calm...always reflecting the mind.

Why comes this clarity...? Only when boundaries are stretched...only when the mind is disillusioned into futile pursuits...only when vestiges of pledges to the self, allure, but mockingly...only when the horizon beckons, full of promises never to be...promises a tad too late...a tad too early.

With what comes this new found hope? With the aching truth of the words that came from the believer's mouth...or the guarded embrace that brought a myriad of heartbreaks out into that fateful lament...or the finality of an almost lost cause?

Now what? Does the gamble continue to let that see-saw see all means of parallelism? Is it going to be a yes, or a no, or is it going to be much more? Does the breeze blow one way, and make you sway...and sway...and sway? Is that assymetrical slant going to light up all the silver, or blur it all out? Is 'poetry' just not in the equation anymore? If the seeds don't grow, and the ship doesn't stow, should the river still flow where the current goes? And will the river banks hold on in all patience?

Poetry...feeling it. Wanting it. Cherishing it. Welcoming it. Embracing it. And holding on to it, for time everlasting.

No fair trade...

Songs for the moment - Aaromale.

Kalalenaa...kanneerena...?

Yours "Did they get you to trade... your heroes for ghosts?"ly
Signing off...

This is it...

2009-12-05T08:49:00.004-08:00

Its been a year and a half, since I last felt this amazing impossibility to open my eyes in the morning, sleeping in the smallest room of Upasana... the place that still strangely still feels closest to being 'home'...a year and a half since I was in Chennai. Singara Chennai.

So there I was...riding my good old scooty,(Basanti 'reloaded' as it was lovingly named by good old friends), in the narrow streets of Mylapore Tank. One of those streets that are smugly flanked on either side by vegetable sellers, and flower sellers, with pedestrians everywhere, making you wonder if the road was built for cars at all...and then a huge toyota innova comfortably zooms past you, with a continuous honk...and you open your eyes wide, half-expecting to see blood on the road as a result of some traumatic accident...but all's good, and you will never understand how. But coming back to the point - we were on a scooty riding on this road, and suddenly, in the middle of the road, right in the middle of the road, we see this humongous structure made of leaves. This structure... 15 feet tall, and maybe around 7 feet long just stood there on the road, in front of a temple, and all the other million scooties and pulsars made their way around it. What the cars did, I do not know. There it was... total chaos. Bikes all over, pedestrians all over, people building the 'structure' walking to and from the stack of leaves... and my dear brother said the exact words that were in my mind - THIS, can happen only in India. So we rode on, making our way around the 'structure' on the great south mada street, to reach destination: Karpagambal mess. A place I've heard my brother rave about for years! After a breakfast that felt like it would keep us full for the day we stepped out, my brother complaining about how the standard of the food had come down so totally, and what a shame it was that I hadn't eaten in the place when it was at its yummy best, and what an idiot I was for missing it. Sigh.

Some things never change. Some things might, but I can't even start to explain how glad I am that my relationship with Chennai hasn't changed one bit. I love it for the same reasons I did before, and detest the same things as I did.

Paati's hot-sweet-ginger-tea still has its charm. I don't think any other tea will ever make me feel like her tea does.
The potholes are still horrible, and immensely annoying.
The roads are still dug out just before the rains, and is never covered up, as a result of which one's patiala pants unhappily encounter spots of rich brown slush!
The traffic rules are still changing dynamically, increasing the number of one-ways. I still find it maddening, and want to write a blog post about it each time I'm on the road!
I still sing the same song when I'm on my scooty. I think its been the same for over 2 years now. The humming bit in hey goodbye nanba, follwed by the 2 paragraphs and never the main lines.
Riding on boat club road is still pure bliss...
Street dogs have the same effect on me. I still want to run, and I still think they want to follow me and bite me.
Anantram Periappa's coffee still tastes better than any coffee day or barista coffee.
Suriya sweets vazhaikai bajji is something else. Nothing better in the evenings, no matter how much oil my thatha's dinamalar paper can suck out of it!
Saravanabhavan sambar vadai is still THE thing! I found myself giving my mamas strange looks when they insisted on eating medhu vadai with a spoon in Saravanabhavan. It took me sometime to realise that at our table of 5, i was the only one blissfully using my hands to eat, and it made me strangely happy!
Orange kucchi ice still costs 5Rs. It has, for the last i-don't-know-how-many years!

And I could go on...

But some things have changed...
Someone cut down the awesome gulmohar tree outside our balcony when I was away... I might have pulled off a 'chipko' if I was here!
Suriya sweets now has a separate stall for bajjis and puffs and weird buns. For some reason, I'm just not able to accept it!
Raniamma went back to thirupathi. I miss her. I dreamed of her. twice. I was wondering if I might go looking for her someday!
My pin-up board is EMPTY. Sigh.
Aunty closed her shop :( Now I have no idea where to find the second best corn florentine in the city! And I blame it on aunty that Nidhee and I haven't had a date yet!
I've just started to realise tha pains of jewellery shopping. I sincerely wish this shall be the last time I would have to do it, even though it is the first! Maybe I'll save this for another post!

I love Chennai. Just being here...the spirit of it. I know I'll come back someday...to stay.

For some reason... I'm going to dedicate this post to Sukanya Venkataraman. Maybe there are some vague reasons... For what she did today. And for giving me the most excited welcome I've had. Suk, I can't even start to explain how it felt to open that box. I swear, if it came to Aus, i'd have cried for a very long time. Thank you. I instinctively wanted to give you one long hug... I let it pass. So here's your lost hug - <3 :) Plus you'd told me not to touch you ;) Lol... Love you! And, I'm going to keep up my post card promise. Maybe not once a month, but atleast now and then.

Yours "Sorgame endraalum..."ly
Signing off...

Up-Bringing

2009-08-31T16:40:00.006-07:00

“Its all in the upbringing...” I’d hear people say...all around me. And slowly, I started believing it as well... and I would find myself passing comments like “a well brought-up kid!”. Sheesh, wonder how old one can rightfully be to pass comments like that ;) Thank heavens there aren’t such restrictions! I can almost hear a number of people I know saying “molachu moonu yelai vidala, adhukula pesara pecha paaru!” But coming back to the point, or trying not to lose perspective (!), I think I did, and I still do believe that a large part of one’s personality is directly or indirectly related to how he/she has been brought up... in most cases, directly. In my case, definitely, directly.

Maybe I’m thinking about this because of the exponential rise in my watching TV shows (fiction, and true life stories) on how a child’s “growing-up” environment affects the mental state, and what sort conditions result in serial killers and psychopaths (sigh, this, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when you haven’t watched TV for over a year, and are suddenly re-introduced to it! The madness, I tell you, is very amusing!). Apart from realising how nice it is to have some form of entertainment, its made me feel...lucky. I think at some point, its important for us to reflect upon how smooth things have actually been, relative to so many other people’s lives... so maybe sometimes, we should stop thinking about our share of problems (which I should say, each person will always have!) and just be thankful...and say a little prayer.

So, I, for one, could now take a deep breath, and think about my “Rasna-kudumi” days, where I assume, I must have hopped, skipped and jumped around with a fountain-like ponytail emanating from the very centre of my skull, and a flowery frock, frilly and lacy, with a belt fastened in a bow at the back, in an attempt to give a neat appearance. Of course I am currently leaving out the opposite scenario where-in my frock would be gloriously soiled with the belt undone (as my shoe laces are these days!), and my fountain ponytail would be pushed to one side, my arms and feet would be as dirty as could get, and probably, the cherry on the cream would be a dripping nose from a cold...AND I’d run home to ammmmmaaaaaa, crying, with insect bites everywhere, knowing a tad too well that the ultimate question would come any moment – “Mannu la yaaru vilayada sonnadhu?” But the darlings that mothers are, they know what to ignore and what to take care of, and thusly, the crocodile tears shall be promptly ignored, as it could never be more evident that those rivers flowing down the little devil’s cheeks are but a facade to escape reprimands, but the insect bites shall be taken care of with ointment, and if severity persists – Avil! Such were the good old days ;). And such, is the judgement of mothers.

So today, I can think about it all on a day-to-day basis, and smile about it... I can think of all the hours my mom would have spent trying to shove rasam saadam down my throat when i now make rasam... I can think of how I abstained from lemon rice for years together, after the ‘good old days’ when a younger (perhaps, cuter!) me, used to call it ‘elipili saadam’... until Brisbane brought me back to it, in the name of convenience! I can think of the times I first started chopping vegetables to help in the kitchen, and how I still follow those techniques to the tiniest detail, and so many other small things that we don’t pay much attention to...and we hardly ever realise that we do them in that particular way because we were taught that way... and we were taught in such way, and at such a time in our lives, that it just got into our heads and never left... sort of like the person who taught you all that has left a permament imprint in your life, and you take it wherever you go, and it forever reminds you of them.

And then there’s the other side... the way you look at the world, the way you are with people... one’s priorities and things close to heart... one could argue that a large part of such things is determined by your peer group, your mentors, and the likes. Well... I believe it all starts at home... and everything is just a direct or an indirect result of it. Ultimately, wherever in the world you are, that’s where you go back to... family.

So... it IS all in the upbringing, isn’t it?

If you were conscious about the possibility that your actions and reactions reflect upon your upbringing, would you strive to be better? To give back to your parents what they’ve given you? To make them proud when they hear your praises from the world? To allow them to feel a warm glow about having done the right things for you? To give them peace of mind that they did good, and they can now sit back and watch what you do with your kids?

I would. Not because I think its some sort of obligation or duty I have to fulfil... but because I think they deserve the best. And, truly, its not very difficult to make people happy... So, why not do what you can?
So now... i’ll do what I said we should do... say a little prayer, and be thankful...

Happy Birthday amma ...

Yours “Uyirum neeye...Udalum neeye...Uravum neeye, thaaye” ly
Signing off...

and so...

2009-07-25T00:33:00.001-07:00

Odum kaalangal...
Udal odum ninaivugal...
Vazhi maarum payanangal...
thodargiradhe...

Signing off...

Greys...and Abstract Revelations

2009-06-06T07:56:00.007-07:00

Let me take this opportunity, on this auspicious saturday night, with the sound of moving vehicles filling my ears, and snoring sounds echoing in empty spaces of this huge house...as the clouds engulf the stars with their ethereal greyness, and the winds beckon to the drizzle to join them on their mysterious odyssey...as the sole glowing lamp in this household seemingly blinks at intervals, and as the massive typing of keys dwells in pride for being the only sound that teases the silence...as the air emanating from the sinusoidal breathing of 4 mortals in their blissful state of slumber (and 1 (im)mortal) stirs all stillness and the chill finds comfort on carpets and beds, blankets and spreads...as one mind wanders into non-existent, unlikely, untrodden land and and one heart hesitantly reaches out to a presently unattainable mist of peace...as a pair of eyes long to look beyond that opening in the clouds and a premature thought tricks the mind into fabricating neverland, to chance upon paradise lost...as a face with closed eyes remains half raised towards the open skies awaiting the return of the breeze and as a pair of ears mildly sense the melancholies of promises (un)made..songs (un)sung...whispers (un)said...

To (finally) tell you that... Life, is Beautiful. Life is simple and complex. Life is hazy and clear. Life is definite and ambiguous. Life is true and fake. Life is Treble and Bass. Life is ruthless and giving. Life is real and surreal. Life is a loss and a fairytale. Life is demanding and magnanimous. Life is separation and confluence...Life is confluence... Life is black and white....

But its not... Life... is Grey. The Grey...most prominent, seeming almost permanent. But... its beautiful nonetheless.

A large part of this post goes out to the part of my mind that has been travelling to places unrealised with Confluence of Elements, by Bombay Jaishree. An album so rightly named. Confluence of elements...an element... so abstract. Its true. The album would be a confluence of different things to different people... to me, its just so many things i can't even define. It just seems to bring the whole world in a swirl, making you feel like you're witnessing some kind of dance of life...a slow dance...in perfect harmony with everything...with yourself... waltzing away into the inner core of your being...pleasantly. Beautifully.

Niv said "her voice sounds like dew drops in the morning"... Jess said "She's something else. Her voice has this magic tinge"... so true. One feels utterly hypnotised. In a trance... brought upon by an immensely soulful voice. She sings every song like she means those words to the last syllable, and makes you feel like melting-butter...like what you heard just made you feel slightly less solid...left you slightly less composed...triggered your conscience in an inexplicable way...gave you a combined feeling of tranquility and being-messed-up-in-the-head at the same time...just drove you through your maze, and helped you get out of it...just threw on your heart this invisible blanket of joy and sorrow that makes you want to cry...just swallowed you into itself...like you lost yourself, to the unknown, and you wish it'll never revert back... just inspired you, like never before. Never before...

To Jayashree Ramanathan. Thankyou...for this album...for being the light at the end of the tunnel...for being the rainbow and the pot of gold at the end of it...for being sanity...for being ultimate glowing etherial-ness...for being the realm of almost-reachable liberation...

Mokshamu galada... bhuvilo jeevan muktulu...kani varuluku

Irakkam...varaamal ponadh-enna kaaranam?

Saramathi. Behag. Kaapi.

Yours "Purandhara...vitalana..." ly
Signing off...

Upasana Arattais

2009-03-03T01:53:00.004-08:00

Upasana. I associate the word with so many things, its difficult to point a finger at one thing. Maybe I could say it was truly...home. I don't think I've felt more at home anywhere else. And I'm not sure when I'll feel so at home again. Sometimes I wonder what makes it so special... wonder why I felt such a strong belonging, considering the fact that my parents weren't always around... maybe it is because I know that I spent some of the best years of my life there...learnt...grew...evolved as a person...the person I am today...shaped by all the happiness...the laughter...the tears.

But more than that, I think its other small things that tied me to it, and make me yearn for it even today. Ginger-tea evenings, Suriya sweets Vazhakai-bhajji, random conversations with the periya-meesai watchman and the lady who swept the place, sunsets from the terrace, sunday afternoon naps, pep-talks and not-so-pep-talks with so many friends, marathon watching Friends and House M.D., the gulmohar...

But even more than all of that... the arattai sessions! The people... the activity (which was sometimes immensely annoying!), someone forever walking in and out of that door, the door-bell ringing every other minute, the telephone yelling for attention, the television blaring with kolangal music, Paati arguing with Raniamma about drying the clothes when she's doing her 'madi' samayal (!), cable-kaaran paal-kaari wanting money all the time (sort of reminding you that its the beginning of a new month!), a mixture of loud carnatic music and Rahman's beats (and mostly, with the TV yelling as well!), the smell of rasam and kothamalli thogayal... and the sound of people talking. Maamis and aunties, mamas... thatha paati amma... Karthik and Visu. And during 'season' Chitti, Sanjana, Sandhya...

The dining table of that house would be the most entertained being in the world! So enriched with gossip and drama, and once in a while, serious talk, sensible talk ;) Every evening over tea and biscuits (AND thattai, murukku and other norukku!), every night - all the dinner discussions and even other times of the day, random talk! My memory stretched back to the one year my brother stayed in that house, and the million conversations thatha had with him and Karthik on what sort of girls are 'ok' to fall in love with, him justifying his caste specifications with vegetarianism! Each person's legs getting pulled in turns... on to college gossip that Kar and me shared over dinner religiously, each time taking the conversation into the airconditoned room and continuing through the night (or some other philo topic, or otherwise, mosre frequently, on realtionships!) And then Visu filling me in with all the ridiculous happenings of his college, and bringing me up to date with the latest crap-lingo with short forms and long forms! Sigh...

And then there were the numerous conversations with amma, on so many issues! Chopping veggies with her, listening to her complain about my dressing sense (Aal paadhi, aadai paadhi!)...and with Paati, about the future (her kollu perans and pethis!), and the past - her Madurai life...with thatha...on books (repeated discussions about the same part of the same book so many times!), music , and his good old days as an auditor (and the fantastic food he ate - Oru dosai, oru kaapi!)...with Raniamma, about how I should get married ASAP!

Well I guess the good part about Nostaligia is re-living those moments...and putting up posts like this to remember things years down the lane... I know things can never be the same at Upasana... painful as it is to realise, we have indeed grown up. We live in, as my paati would put it "yedhedho moolai"s (corners) of the world, and meeting each other becomes celebration... We thankfully have enough good memories to last a lifetime... to make us smile whenever we think back at those days... when i walk into that house again, I'm sure I'll hear echoes...of laughter, of happiness...of a time that was so beautiful, I'd give anything to have it back again...

Flat No.8, Upasana
Old No.48, New No. 64,
Ist Main road, R.A.Puram
Chennai - 600 028

Yours "Ninaivugal...yendrendrum" ly
Signing off...

Anubhavam. Moksham. Delirium.

2009-02-03T06:43:00.007-08:00

Connected, yet so disconnected. Woven in the same web...yet, each an individual strand. Anubhavam, Moksham, Delirium. Three words that have held my interest for way too long now.

This is not the first time this blog claims a mention of my carnatic music classes. Its weird how things change so much with time. Songs that you listened to in passing years back, suddenly seem to hold so much significance...it all depends on what you relate to at different phases of life, doesn't it? I've been learning carnatic music for so many years now..it's been so on and off, i can't even figure out how many years. Maybe 10. But 5, for sure. And now, at this point in life, when I'm no longer on my 3-days-a-week-1.5hours-each classes schedule, is when the beauty of this art has dawned upon my being, entirely. My grandfather would be proud to know that I am now capable of losing myself to this floaty, yet so profound force...and find ultimate solace in it. Satisfaction inexplicable...forgetting the rest of the world...forgetting oneself...being lost in the myriad of feelings something abstract imparts...something that one probably doesn't understand...something that can make its way into the depths of one's psyche with a single variation in tune...something that ultimately pulls you into it so intensely that you feel strangely drunk with it...your head so full of it, that it throbs. And stays. Drunken...with tranquility...with music...with faith...with the mystic force - a divine combination of liberation and surrender...Moksham. Bombay Jaishree's Anubhavam.

Anubhavam. The story comes back a full circle. I have very faint memories of 'Anubhavam' being listened to by my mother over and over again at home in Kenya... the Ngong house... the days when I attended music classes for the sole reason that I was forced to do so...the days I was the stubborn teenager, who even for a minute, wouldn't consider her mother's requests to learn one song and sing it for her. It took me a good 7 years to find that particular memory in my sea of thoughts, and finally comply with my mother's request from years ago... It was the first time I walked up to my music teacher with a song, its lyrics, and said that I want to learn that song, at any cost. And then waited...patiently...for the process to take shape. I don't think I 'felt' any other song more when i was learning it...and when i was convinced that the song was polished enough in my head for my mother to hear it, I recorded it...for the fear of choking if I sang it to her in person... Mother's day, 2007. Bhavayami Gopalabalan. A part of Bombay Jaishree's Anubhavam. Amma's favourite song. It became my prayer. It still is. My prayer. My strength. My tears. My solace.

I never really stopped singing it since the time I learnt it. But rediscovering it in this album...made me dream of amma and me sitting at the dining table at the Ngong house, chopping vegetables, this time, both of us lost in Bhavayami,instead of her alone... I've promised myself I'll make a trip to Kenya just for this...Just to look at her face when she's drowned in the depths of Yamuna-Kalyani...and know exactly what she's going through. Listening to my Brother sing it recently was a differnt experience altogeher...Its like some unfathomable force of nature bound our family to the song... Bhavayami... like the song was destined to change my life in more ways than one.

I've been going through a deliriously intense period with this music. Something at a higher level than addiction... Delirium. Two very different things claim the 'Delirium' tag at this point of time... Carnatic music and...Science. This insane compulsion to keep working even if you feel like it could kill you. This perpetual feeing that you're at the brink of a discovery, even if you aren't...the curiosity...the crazy hours...the brain-storms...the passion... Biology. Science. Bliss. Working with science at its roots.

Jantabhayaga vinu, Ventaramani vedu konti Bhadragiri Ramadaasa poshaka...

Happy Green Ball. PQR.

Yours "Niratha kara kalitha Navaneetham..." ly
Signing off....

Light... Sun-like

2008-11-05T01:55:00.006-08:00

Fluorescent green floors. Green was always her favourite colour. But she still thought the green quite an overdose when she first saw it. But not till today did the crazy beauty of it dawn upon her. She walked up the stairs to get some fresh air, and a little happiness too maybe, from the gallery...open to sky. The gallery of white tables and chairs...of sliding doors and lovely views...the sky and the buildings, the roads and the rain...the gallery of nostalgia, of things that never happened...of things that may or may not happen...of sweet ginger tea...of conversation that would make her laugh, no end. She climbed up the stairs thinking of it all...walking in the darkness...thinking that maybe, the darkness would add to the magic. Just like music does...and then, out of nowhere, a spotlight came on...exactly where her right foot touched the last stair. Gradually, dim yellow lights fell on the fluorescent green...like it was the spark, the stimulus...like a nerve signal...she thought of the irony...the lights led her as she walked... the whole level acknowledging her presence...welcoming her with the light... this wasn't real. This was science fiction. She was in a movie...Like the sun rays were guiding her path...looking around at the empty floor, beautifully lit up, just for her. And then she saw it... the gallery...wet, graced with the rain...keeping people out. She slid the door open, and let the wind blow on her face... More lights...the gallery lit up... dim yellow lights... she walked to the edge of the gallery, the rain drops falling on her... the wet road and the smoke from a building... the music... vidai kodu, pogiren...eeramai vazhgiren.... she smiled. Perhaps the lights were better than the darkness would have been? It was surreal... she walked back into the building, expecting the lights to go out as she walked down the stairs. They didn't. They remained lit. She liked to think of some sort of significance...she wondered if she could have that effect on the people she knew. Walk out, and leave things bright...lit up... atleast for a while. She would never really know. She hoped... don't we all?

The Queensland Brain Institute. Level 7.

The last few days have been lovely. Sometimes you realise that all you really want is to be loved, and to be happy. And when that happiness comes out of making other people happy, its even better. Its divine satisfaction. And of course, having your own desk, Mac computer and a huge pin-up board does add to it too :) Even though that package comes with hours of working with microscopic worms! One can't ask for everything after all!

Silent prayers. Make this last.

Yours "seemingly precious moments..."ly
signing off...

Longing...and Belonging...

2008-10-01T01:17:00.003-07:00

Old age is catching on. Or so I feel! I guess Its just the sudden overwhelming heap of responsibilities that are unexpectedly thrust upon you! I spent over an hour shopping the other day. Aah, now you'll think "Girls! Them, and their shopping!"... Nope, it was one hour (or more) of grocery shopping! And frankly, i've never felt more satisfied after a shopping session! In a way, its lousy, because I know that I spent so much time buying tomatoes and apples and tea because of the price reductions, as a result of which alot of comparisons and careful selection had to be done! But in a way, it felt good. Its learning, and growing, in a totally different way. Its moving from buying a packet of tomatoes randomly without caring how much it costs, to looking at all the different varieties of fresh tomatoes, and finally picking the canned tomatoes because they're cheaper, and last longer! See what i mean? I feel like I've aged 5 years in the past 2 months!

Its also falling prey to Murphy's law more than ever. I don't know if I learnt anything from my Murphy incident, but I do know that I ought to have! So I'll try to write this in the shortest way possible. Situation: Div's mobile has zero balance. She can't make calls. She's been wanting to recharge for the past 3 days, but she hasn't had the time! Additionally, Div has exactly 45 cents in her wallet because she hasn't had time (err, or has just been too lazy!) to walk up to the ATM and draw money. Moving on from the minor details, she's been up the whole night in the uni working on an assignment. She takes the first bus in the morning back home at 6.30am, hoping to catch some sleep before her 9.00am lab. She reaches home at 6.45, just to find that the outside mesh-door, which is never locked (and to which she doesn't have keys), is locked. She knows her house-mates would be asleep. She knocks, they cant hear her (there are no door bells in brisbane!). She doesn't have balance to call their cell phones and tell them to open the door. She can't call from a public booth because she has exactly 45 cents in her wallet (and a call from the booth costs 50 cents!). Classic murphy situation! What does she do? She walks up to a 24 hour store a few minutes from her house, and uses her debit card to recharge. She then yells at the recorded message on the phone-network because the goddam thing is not recharging! After finally recharging, she calls roomie 1's cell. No answer. She calls roomie 2's cell. Finally, she picks up! And the outside-door-that-is-never-locked is opened! Div walks into the house, and is just too angry to sleep! Roomie 2 says she didn't lock the outside door, roomie 1 says she didn't lock the outside door. Sleep seems like a more welcome option than listening to 2 people, 1 of whom definitely locked the door (unless one believes in ghosts!), saying they didn't do it. She goes to bed, cursing herself for everything that went wrong, cursing herself for not listening to her mother's "RECHARGE!" cries!

Maybe it could have been worse. Maybe my house could have been in some place where there's no 24 hour store in 5 mins walking distance! Maybe the store could have been one that didnt have recharge cards, or didn't accept debit cards! But I think it was bad enough! Having to put up with so much crap after a sleepless night! Well, life :)

So... as a tribute to all those things and people I'm missing terribly here...

Dear Raniamma - I wash the vessels and clothes, brush the carpet and scrub the stove! You'd be proud of me! Miss u :)

Dear Mom - I'm waiting for the day my food will taste as good as yours...

Dear Pop - I'm realising the value of your hard-earned money...

Dear Kar - You made me cry the first time I was chatting with you after coming to brisbane. Felt good, because i was wondering whether my tear glands had dried up! You have no idea what our converations do to me :)

Dear Vis - I wish we could snuggle up in my bed and watch house on Iris! Miss your hugs and thumb-fights!

Dear Lav - I'd give anything to just have the kind of conversations we have...just once...by the brisbane river...

Dear Nid - I wish your aircel scheme worked for aus too! Everytime i need to make a decision, I hope like crazy that you'd just appear and whisk me away to aunty's shop for corn florentine and a pep talk!

Dear Nit - You're walking beside me each time i'm holding a camera and clicking something absolutely gorgeous...

Dear shrut - I saw a Capt.Jack Sparrow poster in a store here and knew you'd love it. Waiting for the day we'll get crazy again!

Dear Nik - Your "GO HOME NOW" msg the other day did wonders to lift my spirits, even though i spent the whole night in uni! Your msgs somehow have almost always had perfect timing... :)

Dear Nil - Beer's cheaper here than water. Always reminds me of you!

Dear Bharat - I'm probably going through what you went through 4 years back, and I salute you, for living through it when you were much younger than I am now. Do i need to mention the smoke alarm again? ;)

Dear Suk - You're a smart kid...wish you were my sister :) At this point of time I just feel like saying - You're like no one else I know. Don't let petty things break your heart. You're destined for big things in life... you're going to go places.

Dear Jess - I miss your wise-cracks. We should have spent more time together...cracking up and laughing for the silliest of things. We should... sometime in life...

Dear Sand - The signal pathway in my body that usually gets activated and makes me whacky when you're around is currently dormant, or dead. It's up to you to revive it!

Dear Nanya - I was petting a dog here 3 days back. One of those absolutely rare things in my life... thought yoou'd like to know :)

The list could continue... and be endless...but i stop here. Additionally though...

To all those people who chat with me on a daily basis - You have no idea what a difference it makes.

To music - Thanks, for helping me savour the alone-ness, the loneliness...

Finally...

Dear Nivetha - Thanks for giving me hope :) I know now that I can spend the rest of my time here with more laughter and fun and reason than I thought in the beginning :)

Yours " Ajeeb Dastaan hai yeh, kahaan shuru kahaan khatam..."ly
Signing off...

Oopsie Daisies!

2008-09-09T03:12:00.003-07:00

We've been having a laugh over small things... I can't exactly say its fun, but i make it a point to laugh my heart out even though the incident wouldn't really call for such a laugh! I guess i'm just trying to inculcate the craziness into the people living with me! Evidently, i haven't been too successful. Anyway, here's a list of the things that brought out a loud loud laugh, or maybe just a smile -

- Cooking day. I told my roomie to grind 4 tomatoes for sabzi. 5 mins later, she declares that something's wrong with the mixie, because the tomatoes aren't liquid yet. Tearing my attention from the onion-chopping, with eyes filled with tears, I turned to her wondering how the hell a brand new mixie could get damaged! And then the bulb came on.., "did u chop the tomatoes?" aah, the golden words were spoken! She realised she'd chucked 4 FULL tomatoes into the mixie! It would take some giant blade to grind that!

- Cooking day again. I'm frying the onions, roomie 1 is cutting veggies, roomie 2 walks in. She opens the tap. The tap comes off! And the water's dripping non-stop! And there was quite a racket before getting the water to stop! Well, we did get the water to stop, but there's still a gaping hole where the tap used to be! The plumber should have fixed by this time today!

- Cooking day again!! The Upma is cooking, and the stove's getting reallly hot! We turn it off, but its still red hot! Aah, the knob's not working! Another half-hour spent on turning the knob clockwise and anticlockwise before the red finally starts fading! We stopped using that particular coil! Sad thing, it was the biggest and the best :( Result? We finished cooking at 12.30 in the night!

- Smoke alarm. The smoke alarm is the maharaja of the house, and we the servants! Each time it comes on, and i stand on a chair and fan it with a newspaper, i can only think of the rajas and the elephant-ear-sized-zari-bordered fans that were used to fan them! Sigh! And of course, i say "tsb, now i know what the hell you meant!" ;)
- When i go to sleep each night, i seem to be thinking of groceries! Do we need to buy milk tomorrow? Are there enough tomatoes and potatoes? Do we need to heat the old rice before eating the fresh rice? Sheesh! I'm sick of it! Someone please convert me back to the person i was! OR, get me a husabnd ;) I'm a full time housewife, part time student, i'm sure i deserve a husaband! Atleast then i wouldn't have to worry about the broken tap and the dripping shower and the milk buying and rent paying and smoke alarm ringing! And no, i do not want to marry a mesthri or contractor! *sneak attack*

- I slept without a sweater one night. It rained the whole goddam day, the day after that! The heavens are spying on me! And i did not have an umbrella! I went back to wearing my sweater. Why cause inconvenience to innocent citizens? :)

- I was so engrossed in staring at the misty windows of the bus that i missed my stop! Of course i promptly got off at the next one and ran back home in the rain! Oh yeah, it was that same long rainy day!

- My high point of the day was the free mars bar that a prof gave out at the end of his lecture (he earlier went around throwing them at different people, apparently explaining a mechanism! And obviously, he didn't think my poor head could bear the weight of the mars bar hitting it, so he didn't throw me one! So we promptly lined up infront of him after the class, and snatched our bars away! Ha!). But then, my high point just changed... my mother just told me that my grand dad told her that my grandparents talk about me on their daily evening walk. Aaah, what bliss :) To be remembered!

Ok, i gotto run to catch the bus!

Yours "Its like writing, and if your can't write, we can never get down to discussing what's written" ly
Signing offf.....

Grey

2008-08-30T17:00:00.003-07:00

I just visited a few blogs i usually read, and realised they're not updated either! So i guess we're back to that phase in blog land where people are just too busy, or too bored, to update. I don't have anything in particular either, as always! But hell, dead blogs aren't nice :(

Nothing seems significant enough to go up on the blog! I know i shouldn't be saying this, because my blog title boasts of acknowledging insignificance! I don't know why I don't feel like writing about this beautiful, huge campus, the lovely walks, the river, the fireworks, the swipe cards, or Brisbane as such! Nothing seems to impress! Its not a nice feeling, when nothing is good enough to take your breath away... Its like, your 'expectation meter' suddenly shot up sky high! Maybe there will come a time when excitement will dawn upon this being, and my dark eye will notice the brighter side of things. I'll wait for that day! I swear, if any of you visit me sometime now, I'd be the happiest person on earth ;) and i'd do anything for u! Lol...

Its pretty amazing to realise the value of good company... there were a bunch of people who were always around, who understood every goddam thing you said, and enjoyed the same things you did... and suddenly, the rivers and the blue skies aren't lovely anymore because the people are missing. And even music can't work its charm on you and make your eyes appreciate beauty. A lovely star-lit night with a light breeze and the perfect music playing in your ears, doesn't bring tears to your eyes. You're in constant search of something, that is most likely, non-existent in the near future. You smile so much at strangers, not so much at non-strangers. You see the most beautiful sunset from the 6th level of an amazing building, an empty level with fluorescent green floors, and you're rooted to the spot for a moment... staring at the incredibly straight rays that emanate from a bush of light in all its yellow-ness...and you want that scene to play before your eyes everyday. Will that happen?

So is this all about belonging?

Yours" Well, it does feel pretty cool to swipe cards to enter buildings!"ly
signing off...

Firsts...

2008-08-02T04:07:00.003-07:00

I think I've taken a long enough break from blogging! And, it wasn't voluntary ;) First, to the 14th of July, 2008, a toast (well, an imaginary one!), for being the happiest, and the most tiring day in the past few months. Why would i want to offer this toast to a tiring day? Because it is after the most tiring days that you sleep most sound, and most deep :) Anyway, lets all wish my Anna and my Manni a happy happy life ahead! Love you guys!

Now to things more relevant to my present situation. My firsts in Australia.

Smiling, at random strangers, and all the time.
Drinking water straight out of a kitchen tap.
Wearing a Jerkin continuously, ALL the time, for a week (and i'm sure it'll be for longer!)
Shouting out 'Thank you' to bus drivers.
Finding banks tolerable, to the extent of mild liking! (but that does not change the fact that i STILL want the guy i marry to do all the banking later in life!)
Loving ALL the clothes that my mother bought me! (because she had the sense to buy me warm clothes. I on the other hand, was a total idiot! thank God for mothers...)
Walking up and down SLOPES. Its like you hike everyday!
Handling extreme courtesy, and niceness from great people.
Seeing SO MANY chinese people in one place. You get confused, start wondering if you're in Australia or China! No offence to any chinese though!
A thought...on how marriage should eventually work out :) Yes, a couple gave me the feeling, recently. It feels good to see people like that.

I could go on... :)

Missing everyone back home... love you guys!

Yours "Jahaan bhi le jaye zindagi..." ly
Signing off...

Peters and Non-peters

2008-06-20T12:12:00.007-07:00

We witness dwindling symbols of 'culture' and 'tradition' in today's Chennai. I'm a part of it. And so are most of the girls I know. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about anything big, or anything of great consequence or damage to our saastrams and sampradayams! A few observations, amusing ones, drive me to write this post.

How many times have you walked down a street and seen a foreigner, in very indian clothes, smile at poo-kaairs (flower girls/women) and kariga kaarans (Vegetable sellers), who return a knowing smile? Hell, even if I saw them everyday, they probably wouldn't smile at me, in all my Indian-ness and Chennai-ness! I believe that foreigners are way more polite than we indians are. But would I get the same treatment if I were as polite? No. And why? This woman, this (as the pookaris and kariga karans might put it) Vellaikaari, took to those 'articles' of 'culture' and 'tradition' that tamizh-penns these days seem to have shed blissfully :) And what might those be, you ask? First, the round red (or whatever colour!) mark on the forehead. The Pottu. Trying to coax us 'learned' tamizh girls into getting back to the pottu mode, dear paatis and ammas and maamis told us how that particular point on the forehead has a divine connection to the pineal gland, and thus, how we must not refrain from 'the act'. But what did we say? We said, we could just touch the particular point once a day, if it were so significant, and forget about walking around with a pottu. They obviously gave up on us, and our reasoning, probably with a "indha kaalathu ponngal laam yenga namba sonna pechu ketkardhugal?" line! We laughed it off!

Second, maligapoo. Jasmine flowers. Even today, thousands of tamizh women adorn their hair with neatly tied up maligapoo every evening, and thousands of pookaris are still in business, selling moonu mozham pathu rooba (It would be weird to translate that!), or actually, less than moonu mozham these days! The flowers that I loved pinning up to my tightly plaited, coconut-oil-oiled hair when I was younger, and less 'learned', now touch my hair only during kalyanams, or festivals, or poojas (despite the fact that i DO know that some guys STILL fancy the smell!), and that too, ten times smaller in size, and for a much shorter time period! In a few minutes, I'd be answering the question "thalaila poo vechukaleya di?" with "yengayo vizhundhurthu, vidungo parava illai!". Gone are the days when I'd wake up to crunchy, brown, dried flowers on my bed, with half-white fading, dying, flowers revealing a white string, pinned up across the back of my head, one plait to the other! I was very Kenyan-tamizh then! ;) Coming back to India, changed it all :) But of course, we always have enough things to blame!

Third. Golusu. Anklets. As a child, i wore these extrememely heavy, ridiculously noisy silver ankelts, loaded with a million small chalangu (the collisions of which cause the sound to emanate), which i would carefully take off before playing hide and seek, for the fear of being given away by the oh-so-tinky noise! I loved them depsite the fact that they scratched me more than i'd have liked! I still remember the jeweller asking me if i was learning Bharathnatyam! I wasn't. I still bought them! I don't know when i finally stopped wearing them, and when i took to buying beaded, noiseless, SINGLE 'anklets' (and NOT golusu), from besant nagar beach! Well, there still arent any anklets on my feet!

So here we have this foreign woman, a decently sized maroon circle posing in between her eyebrows, her BLONDE hair neatly pulled back in a long plait (perhaps the hair was oiled too!) and adorned with atleast one mozham of malligapoo, wearing a purple/pink salwar kameez, like she was born in it (!!), BOTH her ankles circled by velli golusu (silver anklets), with not as many chalangu as my childhood noise-makers, but enough to be heard, and a genuine, belonging smile on her face, riding a bicycle in the crowded streets of Mylapore Tank. Was she more Tamizh than me? She was Tamizh enough to earn the smiles of those who wouldn't really care too much with others. And what do we do? We complain about the crowded streets of mylapore tank, and the cows in the middle of the road, and consequently, their shaani (!) and avoid going there unless we HAVE to buy Kolu Bommai, or eat in Saravanabhavan! :)

Well, not all foreign women give me this feeling of lost heritage. There was once I had to walk out of Naidu Hall, in Tnagar, for the fear of laughing out loud at a bunch of american women, and their Indian chaperone, dressed in spagetti strap tops, and skirts, their pony tails circled with endless concentric circles of maligapoo, their feet lost in a sea of green Pothys polythene covers, deep in conversation with the saleswoman, with momentary interruptions from the indian chaperone, about what colour petticoat would best suit each saree they had bought, as 2 very exhausted looking american men, dressed in shorts, carrying huge bag-packs, sulked behind them! My mother was decent enough to smile, and continue her shopping :)

Amma and I sat down opposite another Maami and her daughter, at the aforementioned, eternally crowded, Saravanabhavan today. The next table, had a bunch of foreigners, with a very weirdly accented english, deep in conversation in their native language. The Tamizh waiter took their order, and the conversation sounded something like this -

(M - foreigner man, W- Waiter)

W - Orrder sir?
M - Yus. I want an Eppel Zuice (apple juice).
W - Aapil juice ah sir?
M - Yus yus. And a Tho-maa-tho Zuice? (Tomato juice)
W - One to-mae-to juice, ok...

Blah. The rest of the order was drowned in the din. A few minutes later, the foreigners at the next table were happily eating what we call "meals", with rice, and sambar, and the things that actually taste good at saravanabhavan. I smiled. I looked across the table, and realised that the tamizh girl sitting infront of me had ordered a Pizza! and her maami-mother, some Chaat item! Why? AND, she dropped a fork, and made all the foreigners look her way! Aah, i continued to savour my sambar vadai! :)

And thus, we girls become what college guys today call Peter (with stress on the r. More like Petrr). Also, Scene, or better, Vethu scene. Shed your pottu, maligapoo, golusu, and the likes, and speak english, and you have a direct ticket into peter-land! All are welcome ;) Sometimes, the criteria differ, thus, for further information on peters and their characterisitics, feel free to intreact with my dear cousin,visu, who presently likes to call himself Vishwa, for mysterious reasons! Peter, perhaps? :D

Of course i have to add that it is the Tamizh Ratham, and mentality that counts more than all the articles of show! ;) I don't need articles to yell out my tamizhness, do I? Sheesh, Captain Vijaykanth would be proud of me!

Yours "Tamizho Tamizh"ly,
Signing off!

P-i-e-r-c-e-d

2008-06-14T09:55:00.009-07:00

This blog has witnessed a myriad of descriptions of the the people we call Maamis, over here in Iyer land - The matchmakers, the grapevine controllers, and participants, the pattu-podavai-gold-jewellery fancying women, the "oru paatu paadu ma, kathukara illaiyo?" dialogue throwers,and the likes! With this post, I bring in one more aspect, and one that has been overlooked till date, but not purposely. The Mookuthi (Mooku kuthi,Nose-stud). They come in different sizes - sizes directly proportional, usually, to the age of the person on whose nose the jewel sits - and shapes, but always having to do with the 'round' shape, and never anything longish, or more importantly, never a ring, for apparently, a ring removes all 'decency' from the woman's face! But this unwritten rule, exists only in South india. Amazing, how all (or almost all) South Indian women share that opinion. In the North, on the other hand, the ring is fancied quite a bit, and if not the whole ring, atleast half of it is! Of course, younger generations just find the ring more 'hep' and stylish, so we're seeing more of it here too! Now that we're at differences, I might as well mention that South Indian women prefer their piercing to be on the right hand side of their nose, whereas north indian women, prefer the left. Whew!

Coming to the point - I got my nose pierced. I am now more a maami than i ever was! Why, you ask? Because, I not only love gossip and have quite commendable knowledge when it comes to Pattu podavais, and other podavais too, not only because I'm liking carnatic music more, and finding myself increasingly at ease having my hair in a kondai (Bun), not only because I'm able to have lively conversations with different paatis, and realised recently that I'm not bad at imitating people/speaking like others, but ALSO because, now, when I look at my face in the mirror (probably with a pottu on my forehead), i DO look very maami-ish! VERY. You have no idea!

I walked quite confidently into a small, stuffy room on the top most floor of a huge jewellery store, after very strongly dismissing my mother's suggestion of getting a diamond nose stud. The whole piercing experience was quite a pain, though I'm sure it couldn't have lasted more than 15-20 seconds. Seemed like an era of pain (despite the hideous red-coloured numbing cream, which evidently did NOT work!), like I could visualise the entire length of the gold penetrating every layer of my skin picometre by picometre! I couldn't scream obviously, or push away the pierce-r's hand either, for the love of the rest of my nose! So the silence proudly showed itself off as fat drops of tears at the edge of my right eye! And when i looked into the mirror, I was looking more at my eye than my nose :)The pain eventually did die down, within 5 minutes actually, and we continued commenting on random jewellery like the whole instance hadn't happened at all!

The past few days have been a series of mixed comments -
You look older.
You look like a villager.
You look outlandish.
*Says hi casually* *Notices something is different* *Opens mouth and eyes wide* *Silence* *Snaps back to so-wats-up?*
You look weird.
Your face has lost its Innocence!
And occassionally, You look nice! / You look cute / It suits you!
But the one's i'll put on the "made me laugh the most" list were -
Amma's comment - Maarvaadi madri iruke di ippo! (you look like a maarvaadi!)
Paati's comment - (after staring at it for a whole minute probably!)Romba nalla irukku ma! Ponnu kuthindadhu laam nyabagam eh illai, pethiya paathaa sandhoshama irukku (Its very nice, I don't remember the times my daughters got their noses pierced, but i'm happy that my grand daughter's got it done!).

I wouldn't want to forget this episode. It has been recorded! :)

Now, to an equally important part of the post... This post, I dedicate, to Mr. Nikhil Harikrishnan. Because
1) It's part of my punishment for missing the deadline (for my picture to reach his inbox) and sending the picture (by mistake!) to some random fellow who will probably now send me a thousand 'Franship' requests.
2) He has been one of the oldest and more vocal supporters of the campaign to get my piercing.

Credits for the above - An email sent to me by the aforementioned gentleman ;)

3) He asked for it!!!! :D

But more importantly, because i didn't see why i shouldn't! And, he said i look cute with the piercing! ;) Of course one can never be too sure if he just made that up :D

Nik, I'm well into the 48 hour deadline to put this up! I couldn't imagine what punishment i would get if this TOO was late ;)you better comment!

Yours "as my worthy friend seshan here said, 3 holes in my nose..."ly
Signing off....

The ROAD, conquerable?

2008-06-02T10:44:00.003-07:00

I'm sorry about dwelling on the same topic, but driving does seem to be the first thing i do every morning these days. I thus dedicate another post to it, and also to dear doc friend Nidhee, who has very carefully formulated "The 4 psychological stages of a beginner in driving":

Stage 1 - Phase of Confusion. The ABC of driving is apparently simple enough. Accelerator. Brake. Clutch. The theory of it is easy to understand. However, when a beginner does step on these 'pedals' (which i must say, work much simpler in a bicycle!), its pretty mysterious how this car thing moves! And thus one keeps wondering, where the hell's what! Even more so, when one forgets to take off one's footwear, and thus, cannot 'feel' any of the pedals!

Stage 2 - Phase of enlightenment. One finally figures out which pedal is which! And how the car moves! But there's a catch - the gears! Now what the hell is that? And why the hell did they pick 'H' of all letters to desgin this box! H! Thus, the enlightenment needs to be extended. Of course, that process definitely includes going to the 5th gear instead of the 3rd, and also, the reverse gear instead of the 4th, much to the instructor's wrath!

Stage 3 - Phase of Pseudo-confidence. Point to be noted - this phase happens to be our favourite ;) You think you're running the show. You honk at the right places, turn the steering-wheel to the right degree, gears going good, pedal pushing better than ever, but, but, but... you're in for a surprise! I hear, most people finish their driving lessons at this stage, thinking they can drive for the rest of their lives, they own the road, they've conquered it! Apparently not. Which leads us to stage 4!

Stage 4 - Phase of reality. One decides to now take daddy's car for a nice long drive. And what happens? Everything is wrong somehow! The car vibrates noisily, jumps up when one releases the clutch, everything is haywire! And then it dawns upon the beginner (yes, still the beginner!), that one never really drove the car! It was the instructor, ALL ALONG!

And thus, one goes through the first 2 stages again (but this time, for REAL), and then converts the 3rd stage into the "confidence" stage! Well, hopefully!

Yours "i havent even crossed stage 2!"ly
Signing off...

Growing up. Growing Old.

2008-05-24T09:32:00.004-07:00

This post shall show evidence to the stated title with 3 examples.(My exams got over a month back. Why do i still sound like a textbook?)

I'll take this in the order in which these 3 events happen every day, or almost.

Driving lessons. My mother said "you're 21, high time you learn how to drive!". I had quite a fair argument, stating that it won't serve the purpose, because i do not have a car to practice on, and hence, shall promptly forget the finer details once the license with my ugliest photo ever, reaches my hand! As it turns out, i DID lose my case. And here i am, rising with the sun (or slightly later!), with eyes that burn, and refuse to open at the unearthly hour of the morning that i NEVER see during holidays! And i sit in a Santro, with a thatha who tells me all sorts of stories to get me to learn how to concentrate on the road when people in the car talk, honking more than i've honked in the entire 4 years of my bike-riding put together, hoping desperately for the longest 20 minutes of the day to fly away like they would if i were asleep! And somehow, it makes me feel very old to be learning how to drive!

Cooking. Realisation of some big mistakes i made when i was younger, and less wise! Since paati would make the best rasam, sambar, mor kuzhambu, vethal kuzhambu, and the likes, i decided to learn all the north indian stuff, and the pasta and the other simpler stuff, so that i could make all those when my mom wasn't around. Big mistake. It dawns upon one that sambar, rasam are the essentials, and that thus, one doesn't know how to cook at all! So one dips her right hand into the luke-warm water with pulli (tamarind) in it, and spends so much time squeezing the life out of it (because its fun!) and gets laughed at by amma and paati, the at-this-pace-you-wil-never-finish-cooking-on-time laugh! One's chappathis still resemble various maps of different countries, and one still feels like adding lots of salt to anything! but one believes that she will get there ;) Atleast, right in time before one gets married! But since one invariably has to rush for paatu class, no single dish has been mastered! I should really work on the timings! Only old people cook :(

The mornings are busy. The afternoons are lazy, that being the reason they're totally loved.Oh and there's another reason. There's the afternoon iced-tea ritual!aah. Sweet! The evenings though, are a blur! A blur of a million different combinations of colours of kancheepurams, and silk-cottons and banaras-silks and the endless other varieties of sarees. A wedding is no small affair, and what's any south-indian wedding without having to visit as many saree shops as possible, and buy as many sarees as possible, and make sure they're perfect, irrespective of who they're going to be given away to? My eyes are now unfotunately trained to distinguish the right combination of border+body, the pure/tested zari, the jataang (our slang for gaudy), and the not-so-jataang sarees/zaris/borders/pallus, judging which maami would prefer a jataang saree to a sober, elegant one, which colour is 'new' and 'young' as opposed to 'traditional' and 'paati-like', and many many other things, which has made my brother a little scared. He has pronounced me a typical 'maami', and i must say, seems quite terrified at the prospect of having to introduce me to people as his sister! What still challanges me, though, is distinguishing sarees by name. Saamundrika pattu, jodi pattu, vasthrakalaa pattu, amrithavarshini sarees, parampara pattu, kalakshetra sarees, subhamangala pattu, very very innovative don't you think? ;) Mind boggling! God, this does make me feel like a maami! OLD!

To top it off, the saree shop salesman asked my mother if i am her sister today. And sadly, i recognised it to be a genuine question, and not a trade trick! How much worse does it get? So much for chauffering her around, and indulging her very admirable habit of pulling almost every saree out of the rack and buying nothing at the end of 3 hours! ;)Mothers and sarees...they go together like the mad gleam in my eyes and football/capt.jack sparrow! For my part, i spent 5 minutes buying one saree, and 10 minutes buying the other, and extracted a "yen ma jarigai ivalov chinnadha irukku" dialogue from paati, which i must say, left me very smug! Very very proud of it!

So yeah, you realise that you're doing things that only old people do, and you don't feel good! You don't. Somehow, i'm still very happy :D

Yours " div the oldie, use your dentures" ly
Signing offf....

Another one!

2008-05-16T07:13:00.004-07:00

Sementi, here be your tag :)

1)LAST MOVIE U SAW IN A THEATRE?
I don't even remember...!wait...oh ya, Jodha akbar! I don't think i've ever spent so much on a movie+popcorn for 2 people! So much for trying to extract meaning from urdhu dialogue! Some scenes had class though :)

2)WHAT BOOK ARE U READING?
The much hyped Life of Pi. The wow-ness of the book is yet to dawn upon me though. I hear the last few pages hold the key! But tell me, isn't it unfair when one loves a book just because of the ending? Can an ending be so good, that one forgets how monotnous the middle portion was? Hmm, i guess i'll find out!

3)FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
Life. Been ages since i played it though. Too busy playing with the "real" Life!

4)FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
Reader's digest. For the variety of articles! Actually, i don't think i read anything else.

5)FAVOURITE SMELLS?
I did a whole post on this once. Here. "mann vasanai" or, the smell of the mud when it rains, coffee, petrol, vibuthi, Bioling tea leaves, endless :)

6)FAVOURITE SOUNDS?
Latest - Ice crackling on the surface of water. Always - The violin. Also, the piano. The crackling of dry leaves when you step on them. The sound of rain.

7)WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Helplesness.

8)WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN U WAKE?
Can i please please go back to sleep, for 5 more minutes atleast!

9)FAVOURITE FASTFOOD PLACE?
Nothing specific. Good food is always welcome, wherever the place :D

10)FUTURE CHILDS NAME?
Aah, there are some. Anyway, since the decision has to be 'mutual', we shall not reveal them ;)

11)FINISH THIS STATEMENT—’IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D’
Am not answering this!

12)DO U DRIVE FAST?
Not driving yet! But i do 'ride' fast when i feel like it!

13)DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
well, yes. Weirdly, i didn't do that all my life. Only since i was 17! When most people would stop! Well, i guess my bro decided to send the stuffed animal to me only at that time!

14)STORMS–COOL OR SCARY?
Depends on the company ;), or the absence of it.

15)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
None yet. I can't stop gaping at the toyota camry and honda civic ont he road though!

16)FAVOURITE DRINK?
Right now, Lemon iced tea! Also...hmm...apple juice, watermelon juice...

17)FINISH THIS STATEMENT-IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD…
Definitely, the things i've wanted to do, but never had time to do ;)

18)DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
how does it matter? I do i guess!

19)IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY OTHER COLOUR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
My hair is already black in dim light, dark brown in bright light, Golden in the noon sun, Reddish in the susnset-sun. Why do i need more colouring?

20)NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS U HAVE LIVED IN?
Chennai, Nairobi.

21)FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football

22)ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Don't really know her personally, I think she has a nice blog!

23)WHATS UNDER YOUR BED?
A harmonium. Dusty and old. I cant really say 'rusting' because its made of wood!My helmet, some bags. And loads and loads of dust, that drives my mother mad!

24)WOULD U LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
Maybe :)

25)MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?
Night owl. Totally. Theres some calm to staying awake when everyone else sleeps. And, there are always the stars! ;)

26)OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
:|

27)FAVOURITE PLACE TO RELAX?
Terrace. With music. or at home.

28)FAVOURITE PIE?
No pies. Chocolate cakes!

29)FAVOURITE ICECREAM FLAVOUR?
Baskin Robbins choco-vannila mix!

30)OF ALL THE PEOPLE U HAVE TAGGED, WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
Am not tagging anyone :) Its open to all!

Yours" I've done this one before, dont know if the answers match..."ly
Signing out...

4 years later...

2008-05-04T12:35:00.005-07:00

The only thing that was missing was music. Trying to relate lyrics to what the eyes were feasting upon. But the wind sang. The wind sang the melancholy, and the happiness, oscillating, perfect for the situation. And the eyes took in every detail, like this time, this very last time, they wanted to make an imprint in the mind. The kind of imprint that time cant steal for itself...the kind that wouldn't fade until memory has a chance to refresh itself...

So the pair of them stared into the open. At the kids playing cricket, at the small lane of concrete road that I always wanted to walk through. The lane with huts on either side. At the trees that adorned themselves with tendrils. Yes, of course, it is May. There should be tendrils. At the sun, playing hide and seek with the eyes. Hiding successfully behind buildings, unsuccessfully behind trees. Blinding the eyes. At rows and rows of white buildings. At the mini-lake, that always looked so full of reflections, of trees, of bill-boards, of clouds. At the bus, standing a little too close in the traffic. So close, that i could hear her telling me to come out of my trance and push my hair behind my ears, like she always did. Always, when my hair was on my face. At the way the buses parted ways, as if to signify a deeper 'parting of ways'. At the mango tree, so full of mangoes hanging from every branch. I'd have loved to jump out n pluck a few. I could see myself doing it, but just inside my head. At the bridge, and the red-brick house from the bridge. The red-brick house of happy memories. At the smoke all over the place, almost making it seem like the red-brick house was floating in the heavens, as if it were not enough that it was indeed heaven on earth. At Chennai's smoothest road, and the endless string of restaurants lining it on either side, none of which I have ever visited. At the marsh, when there was a breakdown, when she hilariously imitated the way i sleep, inviting undying laughter. Yes, it was always something they laughed about. At the beautifully canopied road, where i always wanted to take a long walk with someone whose company i enjoyed. At the crowd outside the theatre, and the chips shop that always made my stomach growl...endless...

My last bus-ride home. From a college i spent 4 years in. Hard to believe! The things that i'm going to miss really haven't seeped through fully...they kind of did, when i sat on the verandah with my book open, doing everything but study. Chatting away to glory about the latest movies, class gossip, the extent of yuckiness of the subject, about lip balm and haircuts, dirty shoes and un-ironed dupattas, about marriage, and life as such. It did seep into me, that i was going to miss such talks and so much fun, so much laughter. Hell, we'll deal with it later :)

"4 years later..."ly
Signing off...

Drenched, in something more than rain...

2008-03-31T08:58:00.008-07:00

She left the house at the first sound of rain drops hitting the ground. She left the conversation that the other members of the household were so engrossed in. It wasn't quite there yet, the intensity of the rain. She strolled around the area open to sky... a male voice singing into her ears...kyun tera sab yeh ho gaya, hua kya...she smiled, looking around at the place that had been her solace more than often...the view of the tops of buildings, the road beneath, the people walking...people who would never know they were being watched by a pair of eyes above them. It took her a moment to absorb the beauty of the scene...like she was carefully sorting the trees into different shades of green...like she wouldn't be able to see anything quite like this anywhere else, maybe because she really didn't want to. She walked, wondering why she felt like the rain drops were purposely evading her...she stood still, and then it started...like some force she couldn't fathom had heard unsaid words from her, and played to her wishes. The drops fell quicker, were more in number, and now fell directly on her head...dampening her hair...imprisoning it...not allowing the wind to dance with the long strands of black-brown. But she didn't seem to care...she welcomed every drop like it held purity undefinable. She spread her arms wide, and looked up at the sky, allowing her face to dwell in the chill...and she heard the words...Barf se Khelte baadalon ka, shauk hai... In a trance, she glided away into a partially sheltered area...now watching the rain...Neend ki goliyon ka, khwaab ki loriyon ka...her watch told her the time was 1.45, through a drop that magnified the time for her...she was leaning on a pillar...watching the trees sway...the grey clouds moving...to shower their drops on some other part of the city...she did not want to be left behind by the rain...did not want to remain there until the rain stopped. She started walking towards the exit...smiling involuntarily... Jisse tum ghunghunaaye, mere dhun hai vahin...somehow, it seemed to dawn upon her that there would come a time when she wouldn't be able to walk into this place whenever she wanted...she wouldn't be able to have her mid-day reveries...smiling for no reason at all...realising the irony of lyrics...She wasn't going to let the thought steal the goodness of the moment. She pushed her wet hair back from her forehead, made her wet face even wetter by wiping it on her sleeve, and walked away....from the rain, from the surrender she felt a few minutes ago, carrying in her heart the bliss she felt from the moment the first rain drop hit her eye...she walked down the green staircase. The door was half open, just the way she had left it. The same conversation was continuing inside the house, with very minor changes. And here was a world that remained untouched by the mid-day rain...where nothing changed...for all she knew, her absence wasn't even noticed. All she knew was, it didn't matter...something was changed inside her, and she had a pretty good feeling it was going to last for a very long time...Pyaar tumhe kithna karthe hain, tum yeh samaj nahi paaoge...

I didn't always like getting wet in the rain. Things change.

Yours "drenched, in something more than rain..." ly
Signing off...

Tagged - A-Z!

2008-03-24T09:28:00.006-07:00

Tagged by Sementi. Thanks for making me update :)

A-Available:
On messenger? Yep, never invisible :P
B-Best friend(s):
-:) We all have our own definitions :)and friends!
C-Cake or Pie:
-Cake!! Chocolate cake :) Trouffle!
D-Drink of choice:
- Lemon Iced Tea :) hot sweet tea. Occasionally,coffee. And, apple juice! at 12.00am!
E-Essential thing used every day:
-Too many to list
F-Favorite color:
-Green. In all its shades of nature :)Black. Copper sulphate/chloride blue.
G-Gummy bears or worms:
-Gummy bears...dancinng here and there and everywhere! Anyone watched the cartoon? :D
H-Hometown:
-Namba singara chennai! With the irritating traffic diversions. With boat club road. With the amazing feeling of being at home!
I-Indulgence:
-football. craziness to a level you wouldn't believe. Dancing with the air ;)
J-January or February?
-January :) Birthday month :) And also, the beginnign of a new year and all :P
K-Kids and names?
-No kids yet. Have some prospective names though :D
L-Life is incomplete without (would like to add, presently incomplete without):
-Small talk with Thatha paati (which i'm afraid wont be possible after a while!)
Chatting with mom when she's not here, acting kiddish or fighting with her if she's around. Listening to her stories about appa :)
Music (I've realised i cant do anything non-study without it! Need music when i'm eating, browsing, cooking, everything!)
M-Marriage date:
-Hoping i'll have one someday :P
N-Number of siblings
-One, technically.
O-Oranges or apples:
-Apples. Crisp, with a blend of sweet and sour :)
P-Phobias:
-Dogs (more a dis-liking than a phobia), lizards (eeks!).
Q-Quote:
-Cross the bridge when you get to it. (addiitonally, don't start hoping you don't see the bridge at all :D though thats what i do!)
R-Reason to smile:
-There's a list here and there's the next - no reason at all :)
S-Season:
-We don't really have seasons here. But i do think i'd very much like to treat my eyes to the reds and browns of autumn :) And, snow, is yet to be seen! In chennai though, the light drizzle times are the best. The floods are the worst!
T-Tag two people:
Sukanya (you'll have nothing to do after exams!)
Vinod (high time you updated your blog!)
U-Unknown fact about me:
-My wisdom teeth are currently growing out of my gums :P *div the wise*
Jokes apart, Someday, i want to work for a social cause.
V-Vegetable(s) you do not like:
Brinjal - I think this is on many many lists! poor thing!
Senakazhangu (because its a pain to make it!), don't ask me english translation!
Paavakka (bitter gourd) - Obviously, too bitter.
W-Worst habit:
Succumbing to the temptation of eating in the middle of the night!
And if you ask my mother, she would say, sleeping late and killing my immune system!
X-rays you have had:
Tooth xray :D Before i got my braces :D Nothing great :P Except they found out that some tooth of mine had been stuck in my gums for years and had to be pulled out!
Y-Your favourite food:
Come on, don't make me narrow it down! I love good vegetarian food! Ranging from thaalicha thair sadam with aplam, to pizza with baby corn and olives :D
Z-Zodiac
Not one :) Cusp of Capricorn and Aquarius. The prudent meet the creative :)

Yours "me, a-z"ly
Signing off...

Honk Honk

2008-03-10T11:28:00.005-07:00

Of all the things that happen everyday, and don't happen, i chose to write about this, because i don't think I've ever come back home from anywhere so angry, with some sort of undying rage, ever! I have never banged the door of the lift before, or banged my fist against the car park wall, almost cracking a knuckle, or given a traffic policeman my best shot at a disgusted look despite not having my license! Well, if you don't live in Chennai, this post wouldn't make any sense at all. The NEW traffic diversions (Read : Converting every road possible into a one-way) are a waste of time, petrol, patience, and make you want to run down every person u see wearing a white shirt and khaki trousers, throwing out hand signals! Even though they're just doing their jobs, obeying somebody else's orders. And WHY would they want to make changes to some part of the city that's not suffering from this problem half as much other parts! Maybe just for fun! Or maybe because it seems like a good idea to plant "no entry", "no left turn", and "no right turn" boards all over the place! Maybe too many of those boards were rusting and had to be used urgently! Maybe the barricades were rusting too, and needed to be thrusted exactly where people like me take turns! And there we waited on the road, under the sun, Guinea pigs to their trial-and-error methods to alleviate traffic congestion, people who spent over 2 hours inside a helmet, and ended up coming back home in the worst of moods, the kind that even hot sweet tea and good music could do nothing to help!

To the people out there who are busy charting these CHANGES out on paper, considering themselves the masterminds of this destructively disorganised plan that i sincerely hope fails, and fails big, so that things can go back to how they were, a few words for you:

-->Making every road, every street a one-way DOES NOT help bigger causes! It only makes us go in circles, and see the world before we reach home! Which i can tell you, is one of the worst things when one's stomach's already growling in hunger!
-->The congestion has only become WORSE. Actually, there was no congestion before! Where one would previously take hardly 5 minutes to ride across a road, one now takes a good 20 minutes! Or even more.
-->Give the traffic policemen a break. Its YOU who should be getting the disgusted looks and the million questions from the people who ACTUALLY use those roads everyday!
-->The next time you want to do something like this, just DON'T DO IT! :D
-->You have successfully proved that you have the ability to make our lives miserable. Get over yourselves and open your eyes to this unruly mess that you've landed us innocent citizens into!
--> Lastly, if the rusting boards are the problem, sir, with no attempts to sound proud, my project currently deals with metal resistant bacteria. I could get them to eat your metal up :D :D as long as YOU own up, and tell this city what the problem is!

Hell, am i the only person who has a problem with this? Is it all just abt RESISTING CHANGE? *wonders*

But, this still sucks.

I was thinking how it would be if a whole gang of people went on strike and rode bikes the opposite way on a one-way :D *Evil Grin* Maybe i should organise it?

Yours "resisting change"ly...
Signing off...

Through and...through!

2008-02-13T10:51:00.003-08:00

One's innocent finger tips fall prey to the unruly mixture of bromophenol blue, and coomassie brilliant blue. Finger tips, stained BLUE. One of those stubborn stains that refuse to leave one's skin even after near-bleeding attempts are made by rubbing it onto the damaged surface of rough stone! Of course, one should use destaining solution. Unfortunately, domestic homes do not store methanol and acetic acid in their refrigerators! And one has to eat before going back to the lab the next morning. So one eats. Looking at the rasam on the plate, more often than usual, to make sure it's not turning blue. One could use a spoon. But hell, no fun in eating rasam saadham with a spoon! Sheesh! The most one can do, is refrain from licking one's rasam filled fingers for one day. What deprivation!

And so, life goes on. Through melting petri plates, and boiling autoclaves. Through stolen media, and mistaken alcohol (Isopropyl!). Through unrooted craziness, and umbridge-like bossy-ness! Through dreams of making a difference to oneself. Through working sundays. Through insginificant conversations over glassware-sterilization throwing stressed out minds into fits of laughter. Through the hunts for the silver lining. Through the greetings from a french-bearded, joyous,blue-shirt-wearing, cupric-chloride-blue-bike-riding unassuming scientist. Through thoughts about the fates of Chappu and Pappu under experimentation in the animal house. Through staring at fish in a recently cleaned fish pond. Through contemplations on nose-piercing and hair styling. Through chola poori and chappathi kuruma. Through corridors and staircases, freedom and non-freedom, through power and its nonexistence, through piercing looks and teary eyes, through realisation and...speculation. Life goes on.

Yours "Center for B, AU" ly
Signing off...

20/01/08

2008-01-24T08:42:00.001-08:00

I'm going to let the photos do the talking this time :) Not like they'll tell you exactly what happened, or how i felt, or how amazing it all was...still, there was definitely more to this birthday than growing old ;)

After successfully accomplishing the task of waking me up and getting me out of bed (And trust me, its a very difficult task! You should ask my cousin(s) and my brother!), my friend very sweetly chauffered me...

Through the beautiful roads...sunlight filtering through branches...

...and to our destination...where she did one of the sweetest things ever...

Spent a moment reminiscing...

And some time acting like a scarecrow ;)(i'm not dancing for sure!)

and that, was the morning. Afternoon? Guess who sang for me! :)Couldn't get better!

But apparently, it could... :) Back to the beach in the evening. Another cake. Some more great company. Craziness.

My beautiful new door happened...

And so now i say...

Definitely, there couldn't have been a better way to turn 21! :D thankyou all for everything :)

Yours "Dear God, thank you"ly
Signing off...

On Addiction and Attention

2008-01-03T06:17:00.001-08:00

2 things deserve a mention on my addiction list. Or should i say, my 'latest' addiction list. One of them keeps me awake into the eerie hours of the morning. But i haven't managed to catch the sunrise yet. But i guess i'll blame that on the maargazhi maasam, which supposedly spells 'winter' in chennai-weather language, and hence, late sunrises! The TV show House. And its been thanks to my cousin's laptop (which btw, i christened Iris) that i've been able to snuggle up in bed, and get a horizontal view of a vertical screen ;) ok, i was just lying down and watching it! And so it played and played and played till my eyes couldn't fight gravity any longer. Suddenly i'd realise i had to shut Iris down, so that i don't kick 'her' off the bed assuming her to be a part of the enemy troupe in my battle-sequence dream! Yes, i dream of battles. But now, Iris is gone. And more importantly, my cousin's gone. So its goodbye to all the fun, and the excessively vetti things we did in the name of 'timepass', a term that's been abused way too much between us, in the past month. December has hardly ever been more fun! So thankyou, Visu, and Iris :) And i might add to dear cousin there, i'm sorry i ditched you and continued watching House. I was just addicted! So well, this humble subject is willing to accept any punishment from your highness ;)Iris took my addiction away with her! Maybe thats a good thing. I can finally get to all the pending work!

Addiction 2. This voice pouring its heart out singing "oh, its what you do to me..." I like songs that sound lazy. I like songs which are defined as much by the instruments as they are by the lyrics. This one though, has only a guitar. The voice seems perfect - lazy yet truthful, the lyrics sweetly romantic - not crossing the line to 'mushy', the tune - lovably monotonous. Plain White T's Hey there Delilah. Try listening :) It sure made someone who is presntly quite unwell smile for a while :) You're going to be just fine Lav!

And, for introducing me to both the show, and the song, i owe it totally to nitya. Thanks nit! (happy now nit? :D)

Attention can be a weird thing. The more of it you get, the more of it you demand. Maybe not always, maybe it depends on the kind of attention. But my opinion is that one shouldn't get used getting attention. It makes you dependent. And, will eventually be disappointing and difficult to accept once it disappears or lessens. *sigh* While we're at attention, House has been educating me, and un-boringly :)I now know that Munchausen Syndrome is an attention-seeking personality disorder where the patient seeks doctors' attention by faking diseases! Aint that so interesting :D

Oh, and, Happy new Year :) Welcome, 2008!

The lovely drizzle outside complements Hey there Delilah...perfect moment. True bliss. Smile...smile...smile :)

"The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame..."

Yours "Oh, Its what you do to me..."ly
Signing off...

Sparks of felicity!

2007-12-23T09:43:00.001-08:00

A bike ride is like nothing on this planet. Its one of those things that dances to your tunes. You could be flying, or gliding, or simply just riding. A solitary ride on a breezy night, on an empty road, beneath a starry sky, guided more by the silver moon light than by the yellow head light, is a reprieve of sorts...but riding as a pillion rider behind somoene whose skills in riding you trust, is a different kind of bliss. You have nothing to control. You just let go...allow your soul to fly with the wind, as the wind. On a routine short ride with my cousin today, i looked up at the sky, more out of habit than anything else. The wholesome circular moon lit up the partly clouded purple space above me, a sky of scattered stars. And then, there was an aeroplane, flying right above us, and seemed to keep pace with us. It was some sort of fleeting feeling i cant describe. Like the inner core of my heart was struggling for expression, expression that would do justice, even though i was pretty sure nothing would. The only word that popped into my brain when i thought about it later was harmony. Weird, how I'm not able to relate that word to alot of other things i'd like to relate it to!

And that...was one of the lighter moments of the past 2 days which have been a myriad of unpleasant happenings and thoughts! The other light moment, which i classify as light only now, and didn't at all during its occurence, was my 15 minutes of 'fame'. Not literally, but within the family. A considerable amount of the attention that was focussed solely on my grandfather stole its way to my recklessly careless being for a while when i accidentally locked my uncle's car with the keys safely placed on the back seat, thanks to the thirupathi laddu that i had to free from the ants first, and then free from the car! I'm not going to explain how the hell i ended up doing that, but it happened! More disastrous was the fact that he was willing to carry out the task himself, but i insisted on doing it for him, and actually got the keys from him by saying "naan unga car ah onnum pannida maaten, saaviya thaango!" (I'm not going to do anything to your car, give me the keys). So much for trying to help! Me and my big mouth! Its a good thing they didn't have to break the door, considering there was no spare key...some sort of wire meddling worked. Whew! After all the cribbing and brooding i did before i mustered up the courage to break the news to my uncle! So,an hour back, when my uncle gave me the keys again, and told me to leave them at home, we had to grin at each other! And I, for all my carelessness, allowed myself some warm smiles for the renewal of his trust in me! Childish, yes, but it was the high point of the unfavourable circumstances! Or so I'd like to call it ;)

Lastly, i would never have updated in the present circumstances, but i was asked to...so i dedicate this post to that reader of this blog who hardly ever comments. Thanks for making me do this :)

Yours "with the wind, as the wind"ly
Signing off...

Oh yeah!

2007-12-07T01:48:00.000-08:00

There are so many things that happen in life...so many phases, so many emotions that waltz with the mind. Yet, people chose to sing of love. And we don't seem to get bored of it. I'm not saying that other emotions, or situations, are totally ignored...Its just that, if theres a movie with 6 songs, 2 would probably centre around friendship, family, death or sheer fun/dabankoothu, while the other 4 will have something to do with the onset of love, descriptions of the girl/boy, or dreams of either, or when the love borne in the hearts of the protagonists is finally getting a name that society approves of with no qualms - marriage, or heartbreak, which ofcourse is very directly involved with love itself. Its very rare that vairamuthu writes a song like "Katrin mozhi", and that's because its not what is asked for. There are 5 other songs in that movie- mozhi(i'm not fond of the 6th one!)-which are as beautiful as this one, all that have something to do with this emotion i've been ranting about. Very pleasing music, and lyrics. So why are so many pieces dedicated to this theme? In indian movies, definitely because every story revolves around the romance, or the to-be romance. Even if it doesn't, there has to be a romantic track in the plot for sure. But what about english albums? Rock/pop/blues/hip hop anything! Maybe its the easiest to write about? Or maybe because its one of the most important things that happens in a person's life? Is it? Or because its a feeling that is capable of leading to a number of other feelings - happiness/pain/blah?

Ok, i don't know. The bottomline is, we still enjoy it. And we're not going to stop listening to it, even though we know its sort of over rated. Seems like an anticlimax? Was i supposed to announce to the world that no more love songs should be made, and that people better start concentrating their music and lyrics on the million other things around them? Yeah right, like anyone's going to listen to me. So i'm not complaining. I dedicate this post to one song (i know we usually dedicate posts or anything to people, but...). A song that describes what it feels like to be in love, but describes nothing about the girl, pretty much unlike alot of tamil songs. A song that has music that is capable of lifting you up from the dumps and making you smile. Lovely lyrics (I'm just not able to find out who wrote the lyrics! God bless him/her!). Its one song that makes me happy, eternally. Its already been mentioned on this blog before.

Vizhiglin Aruginil Vanam,from the movie Azhagiya theeye. Composed by Ramesh Vinayagam

Its got quite an adorable video too...with Prasanna, who i think has an awesome pair of black/brown eyes. Maybe the best i've seen, which i realised thanks to Kanda Naal Mudhal...lots of close up shots! But lets not get to all that now ;)

You can find the song, with the lyrics here. Last on the list.

"Irudhayame thudikiratha...
thudipadhupol, nadikiratha..."

Yours " Oh yeah!" Ly
Signing off...

no subject

2007-11-29T11:37:00.000-08:00

It is the ones you like the most that you let go of...let them have it their way...bow out...and then, when your heart lights up with the memory of it, way into the years, you smile. Maybe you didn't do the right thing. Maybe you should have held on, displayed your stubborn-ness, the same stuborn-ness that disappears in the presence of a few. But no...if it wasn't the right thing to do, you wouldn't be smiling about it now. And ofcourse, there's always happiness in seeing them happy. Happier, perhaps. That, is the curious way in which the happiness inside the distorted head works. Quite marvellous sometimes. Painful sometimes. Giving some part of the mind a new lease on joy. Depriving another of the same. Laughing, but not really. Bitter-sweet. A battle you won, by losing. Where the victory exists, but not in your head. Loss or Gain? You know it for sure...but you secretly wish for an assymetrical slant towards the 'gain'. Maybe...

You let them go, you let them free, you make them happy, you're happy. Maybe thats selfish after all. There's something for everyone in everything that happens. Fringe benefits, or maybe, not.

Yours 'realisations of sorts' ly
Signing off...

In the dark

2007-10-20T13:00:00.000-07:00

How does one handle the fear of becoming a nobody in life?
Of being dissolved into nothingness...
Of chosing the inappropriate course...
Of not being able to listen to one's heart well enough, because its not loud enough, and not being able to see the vision in one's mind clear enough, because its blurry...

Sometimes its just not enough how much ever you try. Maybe it never is. And its impossible to blame destiny, or anything or anyone else. Because you know theres something missing, and its too late to change it. And its not right to give up. But you feel like it. And then you're told its just the beginning...

If only...If only, i could hear that inner calling loud and clear. If only i could get myself to steer my ship myself, and in the right direction. If only this confused state of mind could disappear when i wake up tomorrow morning, and a new perspective, a new plan, could infest my mind and get me working. If only...

I've been told time and again that i do alot of thinking that almost always ends up in nothing. Maybe that is actually true. But what's there to execute when the thinking's not over? Or cant be over?

Yours"looking for the light"ly
Signing off...

Pulling the heart's strings

2007-09-30T03:20:00.000-07:00

I am presently addicted to apple juice. Apple juice at midnight.Nice way to start the day dont you think? :)I was hooked to Friends (the sitcom), but i guess that wore off because i didn't have more of it to watch.

I like sad songs...slow-soft-sad songs.maybe they just evoke emotion more easily in me than happy songs do...and one really sad song i've been listening to over and over again is "take my heart back" by Jeniffer Love Hewitt. I think sad songs hit one harder if they have a particular context in a movie or something...atleast for me, its like that. You know exactly why that song was sung, or the tune was played, and all the sadness in the movie just infests your mind and strikes your heart.Of course its not always like that...theres always the lyrics which you can relate to
your own life...but lately, more than the lyrics of the song, its the movie situation that has succeeded in making me sad! And then there's the tune...some tunes don't even need words to tell you its a sad one. Reminds me of the time my music teacher was teaching us this particular song in kalyanavasantham ragam, and the whole atmosphere got so gloomy and sad...not like we understood the song...just the ragam and the tune...Its like this sick feeling in your stomach,this emptiness around...like sorrow just swallowed the whole world, and there's no coming out of it. Some sort of enchantment, but a sad one. There's so much beauty in that...when something no one can understand makes each person in the room feel the same thing. I guess that's what they call the language of music :D

I haven't been able to come out of my BGM craze, or my awe for Mani rathnam (if you scroll down, you'll notice my previous post had alot to do with both!). This time, the movie is Thalapathi. I was totally bowled over by the balance of each element in the movie...quite neatly done. Its like Mani Rathnam used some mathematical equation to calculate the proportion of each element, and got it all right, and beautifully. Theres the friendship, the mother-and-lost-son element, theres the right dose of romance, very aptly balanced with the rage and the helplessness coming out of that "unfulfillable" love, theres a good deal of violence (which i guess the movie needed),and there are the well placed songs composed by the maestro, illayaraja. Another thing i liked about the movie is the bond between the little girl (banupriya's daughter) and Rajnikanth.

The BGM that made me re-watch scenes this time was the violin version of the song "Sundari kannaal oru seydhi". Brilliant composition. It makes me feel like the violin is crying out...shobhana's eyes speak it all out...the yearning, the bittersweet acceptance...so its like the violin complements her eyes. And when you realise all the helplessness that's involved in that scene of lost love, its some sort of poignant beauty.

I'm not uploading the violin piece i'm talking about...partly because i think its complicated, and partly because i'm lazy. So if you'd like to listen to it, you can leave me a comment, and i'll mail it across.

And thus we indulge in music and movies, and small or big analyses of them, to help us forget the bigger things in life. To stop dwelling in things that require patience...on things that do not entirely lie at our mercy. After all, I've heard that to get out of difficulty, one must usually go through it!

Yours "This too...shall pass"ly
Signing off...

You're the rain, I'm a leaf!

2007-09-16T02:05:00.000-07:00

I was telling one of my cousins yesterday that blogging about A.R.Rahman and Mani Rathnam has become so terribly cliched. Every other blog has a post raving about either of them, their work and their genius. But well, i guess alot of people do blog about them because they really rock...one sensible film maker, and one music genius. You know what's even better? The combination. When they work together on a project. And there, i'm finally blogging about them myself! But this is not because of how i'm totally in awe about their work (which i am actually, but that's a different issue!). So why has this post come up?

I happened to watch the movie Aayudha ezhuthu (pardon spelling errors if any) again, but only for the second time. All i could recall about the movie before i watched it again was this - I'd watched it in Mayajaal, after my dad bought tickets that i thought were grossly expensive, i was amazingly cranky and pissed off during the drive, and maybe that's because my brother refused to come with us, we ate some ridiculously dry vazhakai bajji in a small eat out before the movie, and it made me choke no end, my mother thought the movie was too violent and didn't like it,I totally loved the scene where surya is dismissed from college but he doesn't leave because all the students say they'll leave with him, I loved the way surya pushed bharatiraja out of his way in the last scene, and also liked the scene when trisha comes back from sivagasi. Ok i know i could recall more of what happened before the movie, than the movie itself! Maybe that's why i wanted to watch it again!

Anyway, to the point...i watched the movie, and liked it all over again. But this time, i noticed the finer details of the music that i may have noticed, but not gone back to, when i watched the movie in the theatre. The Background Music - the BGM. In the siddharth-trisha scenes. Lovely. Violins. Good dialogue + Good BGM = Scene that can be watched atleast 10 times on the same day ;-) Thats wat happened! But well... something quite funny just happened now. I'd been watching the movie with my cousin this morning, and we reached the part where sid doesn allow trish to leave the bus, and they sit there for a long time till the bus goes to the terminus and comes back to her stop. Theres a small song (a variation of hey goodbye nanba) in the background...I'd recorded the song in my mp3 player because i couldn't find it anywhere online. So i was telling him the lyrics go like this -

May mazhai Naan illai
Idhuku mel oru nilai
vidai kudu, pogrien
eeramai vazhgiren...

He gave me one look, and started laughing! Obviously there was something wrong with the lyrics...the lines didn't sound right! Things didn't add up... so he said he'll listen to it...and he laughed and laughed...because he thought the lyrics actually are...

Nee mazhai Naan Alai
Idhuku mel uravu illai
vidai kudu, pogiren
eeramai vazhgiren...

I laughed too. Mainly at his "when do we get rain in May?" question! But still, the eermai vazhgiren part didn't make sense... and then, the movie was playing on tv, and we were watching the same scene... and we realised...we got the first line wrong! It ACTUALLY is

Nee mazhai, naan yelai
Idhuku mel, uravu illai
vidai kudu, pogiren
eeramai vazhgiren...

Whew! And now, it finally makes sense!

Translation... (if u already understand the lyrics, please dont read this translation, it'll be terrible!)

You're the rain, I'm a leaf
We don't have any relationship beyond this
Say your farewell, I'll leave
And live in all Wet-ness! ;)

Anyway... its been an ayudha ezhuthu BGM week. Been listening to the same tunes, and watching the same scenes over and over again... some movie! If you want to check out the video of the song i've been ranting about... here

Yours "Vidai kudu...pogiren"ly
Signing off.....

Thair Sadam

2007-09-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

Statuotary Warning - The following piece contains an unfair amount of the tamil language for an (apparently) english post. Those who fear comprehension, may stop right here. To those of you who do understand tamil, beware, your stomach might just grumble a little louder than usual ;-)

My hippocampus is still alive with the memory of my mom and our neighbour aunty packing thair sadam and elumchampazham sadam (lemon rice) on one of our trips to some national park in Kenya when i was around 4 or 5...the bond between thair sadam and me (actually, every tamilian) goes back a long way! But never did i realise its
significance till a few years back. Infact, there was a time i'd just not like the look of it. However, as the years flew by, i realised no dish really imparts the satisfaction of having eaten thair sadam, not too pulippu, preferrably thallichufied (i dont know how to translate that, sorry!), with something to go with it. The exact scene that's playing in my head right now is this - My mom used to give my bro and I balls of thair sadam in our palms, so that we couldn put it into our mouths by ourselves when we were kids. She'd make a kuzhi (hole) in the rice, and fill it with a few drops of sambar/some kozhambu, and we'd adachufy (stuff) the whole thing into our mouths, making our cheeks wet with the curd, and giving ourselves white meesais!The last vaai (mouthful) was always called the yaanai-kutty-vaai (baby elephant mouthful!), because it'd be extra small! (back then, we were innocent of the superstition that the one who gets the last mouthful is blessed with a good spouse! See my mom is a very wise woman, she knew what to teach kids, and what not to!). *sigh* feels like that incident happened in another age, in someone else's life now!

Now getting on with life... and this post! The best thing about thair sadam is that it can be eating with almost anything! Salty or sweet, bitter or otherwise! Here are some combos i love and don't really love so much...

(for convenience, i'm going to call thair sadam TS)

TS + Urga (pickle) - This has to come first in the combos, most definitely because it is one of the most heavenly combinations on earth! My personal favourite is aavakai urga, though alot of people prefer lemon, or garlic, or ginger! Nothing to beat aavakai, that too from my periamma's house!

TS + Mor molagai/vepala katti - If you're a tamilian, and don't know what either mean, i suggest you consult your paati! I rate both these equally with thair sadam. Though i'm sure my bro would go in for the former. Aah i can almost taste it!! Damn!

TS + some kozhambu - The kozhambu's can be - sambar, vethal kuzhambu, ara puli kozhambu, molagu kozhambu, porucha kozhambu, and the list goes on! For best outcome on the tongue, one must put a drop of kozhambu on the small amount of TS that is already on the fingers, ready to be taken into the mouth!

TS + Mambazham (mangoes) - This is my thatha's personal favourite, though i find the whole combination revolting!

Now to my favourites...

TS + Rasam - Ridiculous? Thats what alot of people think! They find it impossible to believe that i can eat thair sadam and rasam! Anyway, it appeals no end to my taste buds! Better if the rasam has alot of puli (tamarind) and tomatoes, and alot of kadugu (mustard)!

TS + Namutha appalam/chips - This again, people find weird. I've been a fan of namutha appalam (softened/non-crisp appalam) forever now! And i love its cloth like appearance and feel when its soaked in the TS and the slightly salty taste it imparts to the curd! *heaven* And chips also ofcourse...! Potato chips with TS :D :D

TS + Rasam + Appalam - This beats the above 2!

My stomach has got this funny mechanism...whenever i over-eat, i start hiccoughing! And most of the times, when my meal ends with the last combo, i end up holding my breath to stop my hiccoughs! Such be my fondness for the king of all south indian dishes ;-)

You could add on more combos in the comments section!

Yours "TS the best of all"ly
Signing off...

Breathing...

2007-09-02T02:17:00.000-07:00

Sept 1 - Happy birthday mommy!!!

The past 2 weeks have been like holding breath under water... (though i have hardly ever done that!)...and today, i found my way back to the surface, followed the light, re-introduced oxygen into my lungs. Breathing again. Stopped racing. The marathon is over. The sad part being this marathon doesn't matter at all in the big picture. The big-picture-marathons dare me to step in and start running. And its like I'm sitting and watching them "boo" me, jeer, make fun...beckon. Still scared to enter the arena, and fight. But still, trying to make sure I'm not dragged in by force...Anyway, i stop here!

Lesson of the week - If you know you're in for yelai sapaadu at a kalyanam, cut your nails!

I dont grow my nails...unfortunately, they happened to be un-cut during my cousin's wedding last week. And i think i ended up eating more from the table than from the yelai, thanks to all the scratches and holes my nails made on the yelai! And ofcourse, i ended up with leaf-filled green nails after each meal! Like wearing a saree wasn't enough!

My posts are getting shorter. I'm not blogging as much as i'd like to. *sigh*

Yours "extremes.."ly
Signing off...

At music's pace...

2007-08-04T03:50:00.000-07:00

Walking with music in your ears... :) There's something about it that makes me laugh. I find myself unable to walk at a faster or a slower pace than that of the music playing! Its like waltzing with music itself...if you try to hurry on, it pulls you back. If you try to lag behind, it beckons. Like its steering you with hands you cant see, keeping time with you, like one of those dances where you don't have to do anything because the person you're dancing with knows it all...you just have to be there and allow yourself to be steered, to be guided...And so your walk becomes a dance...your feet are confused whether to listen to your brain, or obey the ungiven orders that are being sung into your ears. And when one thinks of this just as it is happening, a broad smile infests the lower jaw, and refuses to leave for sometime...giving the people on the road a chance to contemplate one's madness.

This doesn't happen only during walks. There have been several occasions when my cousin has made fun of me for wiping the table at music's pace...fast or slow. *sigh*

Suk, hope that answered your doubt on 'at music's pace' :)

Raat ka shauk hai...
Raat ki sooni se...
Khamoshi ka shauk hai
Shauk hai...

Yours "Waltzing with music..."ly
Signing off...

"After all this time?" - "Always"

2007-07-23T03:59:00.000-07:00

21/7/07

5.00am - I'm wide awake. A fleeting feeling inside my head that i haven't slept all night. For the first time in my life, i'm thankful for mosquitoes, and the shallow, almost-non-existent sleep i fell into for around 6 hours. I look up at the owner of the voice that pulled me out of my midway trnasition between the two worlds so different, yet so real in their own ways.Her face didn't look so sleepy, but the madness in her eyes was obvious, and i thought they reflected the same madness in mine. The day would be marked in the calendars of history of our home...The day Divya woke up before sunrise all by herself, without anyone having to shout, nudge, call names, or switch off fans!

5.45am - A crowd of teenagers huddled in small groups outside a small bookstore, chattering, excited, waiting. A truck pulls into the gates, loaded with cardboard boxes, concealing the contents, but not really! All eyes follow the cartons into the shop. The cartons are unpacked. Faces are stuck to the glass door, staring at the stack. How much longer? The queue has gone to the road. The excitement is mounting. Before they realise what just happened, the door swings open, and the person who fate favoured to be the one to lay her hands on the first copy is pulled inside by some force. The same force that has kept millions waiting for this moment. The shop opens, they scream. The owner of the first book comes out and waves her book-holding hand to the crowd, they scream harder.

6.10am - I was running my fingers over the writing of the first page of this book...this book that had infested my dreams for days preceeding its arrival, this book that had taught me what it felt like to wait for something so much, that you can't sleep when you know its nearing. And what a moment it was! I screamed!

18 hours later.

I sat there staring at the white wall infront of me...was this what had kept me waiting? Was it worth the wait? YES. What satisfaction. It was like eating a sumptuous feast, but having too much to eat. But i still think that if JKR had not intoduced the concept of the 'deathly hallows' into the plot, the book would have been immensely predictable, thanks to sites like mugglenet, which got atleast one theory in each subject of discussion right on target. Bull's eye. One does wonder how jkr would have felt when she read a theory that got her story right! Was it that easy? The book had her style, totally. Except the ending. The ending didn't seem like it would belong in a jkr novel. On the whole, i got what i wanted. I wanted to feel like i was racing against time, running running running...i wanted to feel that chill down my spine, the adrenalin rush in, that tear that almost fell, that smile on comprehending things atlast, blurry eyed.

And what a phenomenon she created. Making people wait outside shops irrespective of time and space...my own realisation of craze, madness, euphoria, perseverence, WAIT.

Some stories, never really end.

Yours "Dumbledore's man, through and through"ly
Signing off...

The Prejudice

2007-07-03T08:20:00.000-07:00

I might just have been walking out of a room, but i was Heidi running down the hill screaming peterrrrrr or running up the hill screaming grandpaaaa. My every step was like the fastest run i ever ran, and coming into the tubelight light was like greeting the morning sun, from darkness to light! I hoped that every centimetre i moved was equivalent to miles away from where i was. Miles away from the briefcases. Miles away from the pass books and cheque books and money talks. Such is my aversion towards bank business! I dont exactly know WHEN those briefcases started imparting this unpleasant feeling resembling biting-one's-lower-lip-in-rage, but it doesn't matter anymore, for its been long since the unpleasant feeling turned to torment, and torment to resigning one's fate to the necessities with no other way out!

I havent been able to explain my dislike for banks! I think its quite a compliment that my grandfather considers me old enough to discuss bank matters with me, but i sit through those sessions hoping they'd end the next minute! No offence to dearest thatha, he just wants me to learn. But the minute he calls me to his room, i dread pulling out those briefcases and listening to him murmur to himself, break his head, and finally decide which bill gets which cheque, from which account! Even though i do love looking at his face in that moment of victory when the big decision has been made! *sigh* Banks, are crowded, have long queues, people at the banks dont smile, they dont help, they dont care, and are far from how they're portrayed in advertisements, the "hum hain na - ICICI" types! Maybe i still dont understand the whole system, and that may be partly because i dont want to understand them! Do you know what you're doing divya? You're running away from one of the biggest responsibilities of life! How will you manage your money in the future? I do ask myself all that once in a while...but a smiling banker has to come by for that miracle to happen, and i do, with all my heart, await the day when i wouldn't have to sulk at the prospect of visiting a bank. After all, i do believe in miracles. :)

But having said all this...i'd also like to add...that signing cheques feels pretty cool ;-) Thats about the only thing i like about the whole business! No offence to any banker, its just a personal opinion, and more correctly stated - a Prejudice! Thus, a few months back, i came to the decision that the man who decides to endanger everything in his life by marrying me, fatefully or otherwise, will have to take care of all the bank deeds ;-) That, will be a criterion for the screening test, which has a few more criteria :D Its definitely not as bad as IITJEE :D

Anyone up to an argument? Or, anyone ready to convince me to change my mind? Try me!

Yours "The SBI couches are better than Indian bank ones, but the latter has better air conditioning!" ly
Signing off.....

Zendagi...Migzara, Smilingly

2007-06-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

Life's weird. One longs for free time, but finds more bliss in work, and almost always wants to have something to do once free time plants itself in one's life. Isn't that weird? And here i am...apparently enjoying my holiday. Actually, i am. It's great to have something to do for a major part of the day, enjoy bike rides in the light drizzle, come back home to the people who are my source of entertainment and bliss, my laughs and hidden smiles, and enjoy the few hours of 'fursat'. The weirdness lies in the fact that my holiday is turning out to be much busier than my actual working days in college, but it is also, in some crazy way, more satisfying. Its like working in a true sense, for something whose outcome is definite, for something that you're going to earn, and something you've earned. Its satisfaction that one can only experience in seeing things happen the way they want it to happen. Maybe not quite, but something close to that.

And so time breezes past. Smilingly. Floatingly. Carries one with it, without letting realisation dawn upon the victim. It makes one smile for the smallest of things...laugh heartily for the silliest of things...its floaty bliss. I smile when thatha opens his father's day cards. I smile when paati sings 'kurai ondrum illai' to herself, hoping she means it. I smile when i remove my helmet to see strands of my hair strewn all over my face. I smile when i see the lights of an aeroplane from my bed, every 3 minutes. I smile when my mother calls herself a couch potato and complains about my dad not taking her out to buy groceries. I find those sessions immensely cute. I smile when my cousin calls me kutti divi. I smile when i have in my hand, hot bajjis from suriyas. I smile at paati's smile when she's holding my tea in her hand. I smile at 2 souls savouring orange kucchi ice, those smiles are definitely worth more than the 5 bucks spent on the orange kucchi ice. I smile when i deliberately switch on my parent's favourite songs. I smile at my psychic senses when i predict a power cut. I smile at my friend's craze on receiving her first captain Jack Sparrow poster. I smile at the longing i have for eggless chocolate cake that's baking in an oven thousands of miles away.

Thats alot of smiles :) This has been a different holiday. A holiday in which - i have not been stuck (read : addicted) to the computer - chatting, or watching movies, I havent had a chance to feel alone-ness or loneliness, I've had quite a perfect balance... between work and play, racing against time and floating along, realisations and non-realisations, regretting and being thankful, waiting and forgetting how it feels to be waiting, music...and silence. Maybe this is just the greener side. But hell, its greating just looking at things this way! Jab mile thodi fursat, khud se
karle mohabbat.

Yours "waiting, and forgetting how it feels to be waiting"ly
Signing off...

Battle field of sorts!

2007-06-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

UPADTE 16/6/07 - Happy birthday, dear bro :) Have fun! Have a great year ahead.

Frankie had come to be an integral part of her home. They bumped into each other in the middle of the dining room, kitchen, and she almost even kicked him once. He scared her a little, but he couldn't really help that. Maybe she scared him too. He had duties to satisfy, he couldn't live without the essentials...they almost always bumped into each other when he was just about to relish his meal. And he'd always succeed in scaring her, making her run and yell. Frankie had his own gang of friends, or brothers should we say? And they believed utterly on healthy competition! Or so it would seem. So she watched, as her home transformed, each night, into something she always detested. Where can one better understand Darwin's concept of 'survival of the fittest'? He was a genius indeed!

Frankie. Blancho. Blackie. 3 names that rule the dining room of our humble abode every night. Maybe you already guessed who they are (some of you already know!). Those 3 names, i bestowed upon the regular dining-room lizards in our house! Yeah, you read absolutely right. Lizards. One of my friends asked me why I didn't hold a naming ceremony, like the one i had for my football (which by the way is ignored so totally at the moment, and he's quite snug behind the television cabinet! God know's how he rolled down to there!). I told her i figured it would be quite difficult to make crowns for lizards, and even more difficult to get them to wear the crowns! So i skipped the elaborate procedure ;-) After all, i dont think lizards are worth pasta, footballs definitely are! The names came spontaneously. Talk about the weird things we do during exams...this is definitely one of them for me! So as soon as i decided the names, i called my mother to the dining room one fated night, when 2 lizards were crouching towards their prey (the coackroaches! sheesh!). And i told her they're going to have names. She gave me the oh-my-God-not-again look, and went back to her bed. The next day when i woke up, the first lines i heard came from her...she said, "Frankie karthala gudu gudu nu tharai la odindu irundhudhu" (Frankie was running across the floor in the morning!). I laughed so hard that moment! And i asked my mother how she knew if it was frankie or blancho! And the description she gave me made me laugh even more...! It all meant that she actually paid attention to me at the casual naming ceremony, where i thought she was wondering what gets into me once in a while. Well, frankie's a shade lighter than Blancho, and is almost translucent! Blancho's bigger, darker and has a fatter tail! There goes!

I always wanted to blog about the lizards at home. They have the most annoying mannerisms! They have no fear whatsoever! They're not even scared of the humans of this house! They have this very very annoying habit of walking right across the floor exactly when one is walking, so that one has to make a significant effort to try to avoid stepping on them! YUCK! And one of them managed to brush against my toes once... :( They have stopped responding to vibrations and reverberations on the floor... which means that even my half-bharatanatyam walk, stamping my foot quite hard on the floor, doesn't make them budge! All it does is invite comments from my mother... "dance kathuka sollumbodhu kathukama ipo yedho thaiyya thakka nu aadindu iruka!" *sigh* Thus be the sad plight of the crazy one who dwells in the land of lizards and coackroaches. Thats what our home is turned into after 11pm everyday. How these creatures have such an amazing sense of time so as to torture only ME and no one else in the family is incredible. How they come out into the open only after the non-lizard-fearing section of the house retires to sleep remains on my list of eternally unanswerable questions!

We now have peacock feathers on our walls. Apparently the reptiles are scared of peacock feathers. It actually worked... thats why the regular liz's came down to 3! Looks like these 3 were the fittest that survived, and perhaps gained immunity to the feathers or something else that's beyond the understanding of my highly irritated brain! Meanwhile, the squirrel returned to our balcony and made me take off the swing for a second time... But well, Zendagi Migzara - Life goes on!

I dedicate this post to Nilesh (haha!) and Lavanya ;-) Who gave me the most entertaining evening in months! Thanks to the lizards. Of course Nil might have a different opinion altogether! I totally understand Nil!

Yours "frankie's got only half a tail now"ly
Signing off...

On Ammas, Paatis and mappilais ;-)

2007-06-05T05:41:00.000-07:00

UPDATE 9/6/07 - Happy birthday Visu!!! (my cousin) And Sathya uncle! :) Hope you have a great day! And... Happy birthday, Johnny Depp :D We're still waiting for Shantaram, and pirates 4! :P

This post is a little late. But I'm glad i got down to putting it up anyway! It was my Paati's 70th birthday on the 31st of May :) And i so love her! So well, Happy birthday paati!!!! :D For the past few months...I've been realising how easy it is to make people happy, yet we hardly ever do it. Sad thing. So i'm on a 'lets make people happy' marathon, so dont be surprised if i make u smile ;-), and don't wonder why. Just be happy!

My paati is such a sweetheart, she allows me to play around. I put a party hat on her head on her birthday and made her pose for a snap :) Thats what you can see below. On another occasion, i made her wear a santa cap! Its very rare that each time you look at someone you're living with, you smile a nice, wide, happy smile. I don't recall doing it with anyone else but her. Whether she's passing by my room, or calling me for tea, or just happens to look my way from the television, there's always a smile. There are 2 smiles. Its a great feeling when I think about it now. Another thing i find immensely cute - If i keep playing a song repeatedly on the pc, she picks it up and starts humming it. The cutest on the list are Dus bahane, andan kaka kondai kaari and nila kaigirathu! Long live paati! Hope my kids get to relish her kothamalli thoagayal...and rasam! And alot of other things :)

Something that made me laugh no end a while back. I sent my mother a photo of myself and the Capt. Jack sparrow poster at satyam. She said its nice. And then i told her thats her future mapillai and told her he's the one i'm going to marry! Read for yourself, and laugh!

ramansumathi: good photo

Divs: hehe howz johnny depp?

ramansumathi: i am not bothered abt him, i saw only my daughter

Divs: oh but your daughter wants to marry him

Divs: so see your mapillai

ramansumathi: fool

Divs: hehe kaai ko tension mataji, johnny has 2 kids

ramansumathi: mad girl

ramansumathi: dont even say for fun

Divs: mom chillll... apdiye neenga kalyaman panni vechuduvel illai

Divs: ammmmaaaaaa paaaaaaaaaah u cant even take a JOKE?

ramansumathi: i know my daughter

Divs: wat abt your daughter?

ramansumathi: she wont do such silly things

Divs: hehe like wat? marry johnny depp?!

Divs: he's not available mom, he has 2 kids

ramansumathi: ok, leave that now

Divs: amma no tension!!!! pah pah i cant play also with u peacefully

WHEW! it takes quite a bit of convincing! Am not marrying him amma!

Yours "Aint she so cute with the cap?"ly
Signing off....

Telomerase, Marry me? :)

2007-05-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, you read right! I dont think i've been crazier about anything/anyone, ever! Not even Captain Jack Sparrow! Telomerase, had the unfair advantage of stepping into my life before captain Sparrow did, thus, this partiality! Well, I just hope I hold a long enough acquiantance with telomerase to make me happy anytime i think of it in the years to come ;-)

Am totally mad amn't I?

psst is this my shortest post?!

Yours "TTAGGG"ly
Signing off...

Disconnected

2007-05-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

I need a break....

For how much longer is my room going to look like this?

For how much longer is my pin-up-board going to look like this? (well, i've been wanting to do something nice to it for ages, but it remains. Scattered pictures, keychains, writings, football... *sigh*) Nik and caulagi, i think you can see the keychains you gave me :) i just noticed!

Exams are such a bore... :( And we never stop complaining. I am currently addicted to Nila Kaigirathu on the pc, and still, only hope, on the player. I have started liking Siddharth more than i already used to, and i don't mind Genelia anymore. I'm waiting my brains off for pirates 3, and am hoping next weekend is going to be something i never forget. But ofcourse that'll depend on a number of happenings! In the past few days, my eyes look like they just got bigger, and my hair looks like it got longer. But one can never be sure when one is going to turn bald. The heat seems to be coming down, but you can never tell with Chennai. It looks like its going to rain every morning, but its just a delusion. The sun fights off all the clouds by 11am. You have such long waits in life sometimes, that you feel like ditching the thing you're waiting for all together, and just living the moment. But that doesn't ever happen. The things that make you happy become inaccessible almost everytime you need them, but surprises still happen. The gulmohar outside my window is quite beautiful. I've learnt how to tie a saree. The bus ride back home today was one of those floaty ones...when i'm half singing, half humming, fully smiling. I love it when kids wave to buses, but i've never gotten myself to wave back. Its happenign again - my mother's not around and i feel like cleaning each centimetre of dust in the house even though i'm supposed to be studying. Wonder why i never bother when she's here. I burnt my breakfast yesterday. I've got used to wearing my retainers, and eating with them on. Peacock feathers look nice on the wall.

4 down, 2 to go. And am already in the holiday mood.

Yours "wanting to be disconnected...from everything"ly

Signing off...

Only Hope

2007-05-16T03:17:00.000-07:00

vidiyaadha iravenru edhuvumillai
mudiyaadha thuyaramenru edhuvumillai
vadiyaadha vellamenru ethuvumillai
vaadaadha vaazhkkaiyenru edhuvumillai

---Vairamuthu

Translation, though it may not be as good as it is in tamil...

There's no night that doesn't break to dawn
There's no sorrow that doesn't end
There's no flood that doesn't drain
There's no life that doesn't fade

The title of this post has been stolen from the song i am currently addicted to. I think no other song has been played on my player for the past 15 days! Love it for the voice that seems drowned in the ocean of instruments...the violin, the piano, the guitar. And the feel...
Only Hope by Switchfoot.

Yours "vidiyaadha iravenru edhuvumillai"ly
signing off....

xerox

2007-05-10T13:23:00.000-07:00

My nights are becoming sleepless...
My days are becoming useless...
So i asked God... "is this love?"
God said...
"idiot, your semester exams are nearing!"

Its that time of the year... you get the same text msgs on your cell... but they always make you smile. You'd have read the same sms' before your exams the previous sem, hardly 4 months back, still, anything that jokes about your present situation, makes you smile! That, was one such!

From very keen analysis, I presented some very useful results to my fellow classmates, struggling and broken hearted! I told them all... that since our STUDY holidays began, the most commonly used word happens to be xerox, and the most commonly used phrase happens to be God save or Kadavul daan kapathanum! I don't think i need to to talk abt what response i got! :D Considering i spent 500 Rs on paying up pending xerox bills...and that reminds me that one of my classmates keeps saying "its not xerox, its photocopy! Xerox is just a company!!". But well, we all stick to xerox! So maybe the scope for English language within our circle is quite limited to very few words and phrases before, and during exams! Of course another very commonly used word now happens to be HEAT! And the same heat is blamed for anything and everything that goes worng... "I slept for 3 hours, damn the heat!", "I'm feeling so hungry/thirsty/bored/groggy/looney/, damn the heat!" *sigh*

You do weird things during study holidays. Example? I watched the ManU vs Chelsea EPL match, just because i heard ManU were going to lift the cup after the match. I didn't watch the whole match, but i watch the 2nd half. Just to see them lift that cup and see the smiles and the euphoria... but what happened? It was 2.30am, and the match got over, and 2nd half analysis started, and there was no cup. And when i said "you made me stay awake to see them lift it, where's the cup?", i was told "You got to watch a good match man!" LIKE HELL! Whoever was responsible for that...you definitely know you're being talked about :P I just felt like mentioning it!! :D I'll remember that incident for as long as i can!

There you go... boring sessions, trying-to-study sessions, lets-get-rid-of-boredom-by-thinking-up posts-for-the-blog sessions... a week more, before the adrenalin rush. So in our own style i say... God save!

And.. wish me luck please!

Last thing... Vinay, For you in blue, Happy birthday! For May 12th. Have a great day, and a lovely year ahead. Play loadsa football! And one more wish... Sandhya's mom... Happy birthday aunty! Hope you liked all the stuff your daughter made you, am sure she enjoyed doing it all without studying ;-) Ok sand, chill!

Yours "Need training on how to waste time?Contact ME!"ly
Signing off....

Brighter than Sunshine

2007-05-04T02:18:00.000-07:00

UPDATE 7/5/07 - Happy birthday Sukanya, and Anupama!!!!!!!!!! :D Hope both of your have a great day :) And a wonderful year ahead.... Suk, may we have more football discussions, and other discussions :) Have a blast!

The few things in summer that i look forward to... We all hate the heat and the sweat... but there's a greener side :)

The yellow light that appears in our dining hall wall every morning at sunrise... :) Its been one big inspiration for my photography! And alot of time pass with my coffee/chocolate mug! And.. i love photos of shadows...

Flaming peepal trees. Well, its not so flaming in this picture, but they look alot redder than that! I like to call them 'tress on fire'! *lame* right! I could stare at them for eternity. And did you know the speciality of the peepal tree... Every leaf swings by itself in the wind... they don't swing as a branch. So the next time you see this tree, try and notice...if its all sunny, the tree looks like its glittering because each leaf is on its own.

The tendrils... :) I've been in this city for quite a few years, but i started to notice these tendrils only 2 years back. They're lovely...they come from trees you wouldn't give a second look any other month of the year. Nature... *sigh*

The view from our house balcony! The pink flowers :) Whose name i still don't know! Its famous among my relatives... they make it a point to visit us just to see the tree :)

More from the balcony! The May Flower tree... the Gulmohar. On fire...orange flame!

Aah... the yellow and green mix. They look better when sunlight is filtering through them, which means you'd have to look at them from right below the tree. And this particular place, oryza, by itself is a nice building. During summer, the tree adds to the beauty!

MANGOES! :) But there's been a conspiracy this year! They're not tasting good :( Damn the export market!

Yelaneer. Tender coconut water. And the tender coconut too! And i love the way they use the 'aruvaal' to cut it open. Some skill! I'm always half scared they're going to chop their hands... i like it even better when the yelaneer splashes onto your face when they're cutting it! Yayy!

Watermelon :) Yumm.

I hate the heat :( But its better than floods. Anyway, These...are things other than sunshine that brighten up summer days :) Thus, i welcome summer, gracefully. And i hate my colllege and the uni for making us write exams in baking summer! And worse, studying for them! argh! Which reminds me, i have study holssss!

PS : Suk, we could always continue the comments on the prev post. I'm loving them! :)

Yours "there are some cool things about summer"ly

Signing off...

Presence and Omnipresence

2007-05-01T10:33:00.000-07:00

Its funny how you're quite comfortable with your life until you realise what you've been missing for a long time...when the memory of how it felt to have it all stares you in the face teasingly...and how even stranger it feels when you realise that the memory didn't visit you through the years and decided to just now. And then you think of all the people because of whom you didn't realise what you were missing...or you wonder why it took you so long to fathom the depth of some small things that are always taken for granted... and you don't know whether to be thankful or reproachful. Maybe its all about time... maybe its all about the level of understanding...its all about how much things can change in a few months.

We had a family reunion. Now you could go ahead and think its a whole big family of 124 members who came from all over the universe. :) Nope... just 4 of us. My immediate family. My father, my mother and my brother. And the past month...has been a festival at home. That should explain the first paragraph that you'd have given your raised eyebrows to a while back! :) But hell... sometimes you have such big realisations, revelations that they could choke you to tears.

Thus...i dedicate this post to 4 people. First... to the best man in my world - my father ( all those of you who were expecting johnny depp there, too bad!;-)). I don't know why sometimes things hit you harder...its taken me 7 years to realise the love, the concern and the protection i've been missing, with that tinge of hidden pride he has for his kids :) Next ofcourse to the best woman i know - my mother. Lets not even start on how much importance she holds in the life we run here... her absence sometimes is very dearly felt. And then... to the second best man in my world - My brother. For a million things i cant even list out...even for that expression on his face when am giving him a head massage! God bless :)
Now the 4th... its to all those people who've been there when neither of the above were there...even though they are in a way, omnipresent... there's nothing like presence :) So the list would have to start with my grandparents...and then all those friends...who i spent hours on the phone and online with, laughing, gossiping, holding small talk with...

There was once when my mother told me when we were chatting online that her kids are always with her...that every morning when she's praying, she calls us by our names and makes us sit with her infront of God.... and her kids have such small palms...they're so tiny...her daughter is dressed in a frock...and they all sit, and pray together. I dont think anything she ever said before that in the 20 years of my life ever affected me so much. I guess those are our Godly parents...

Whacky stuff to wrap it off... i think Neo sports has some illegal connection with the football club Manchester city. Whenever i watch the channel, they have a Man.City match in which it wins! That to against liverpool and ManU! How unfair is that? ;-)

Yours "Kanden, Seethaiyai"ly
Signing off....

Shadows of thoughts

2007-04-18T12:14:00.000-07:00

Pleasant and pointless chatter is what it was turning out to be. Chatter with no consequence, words spoken for the moment alone...like all that mattered was the minute. Not what happened after that, or what had happened before that. A feeling like any time before that moment never existed, and any time after that moment was meant to remain frozen and unmovable, so that the moment wasn't lost in time. There it was, a feeling of togetherness that hadn't been felt in a very long time. The happiness of seeing what was being seen...like finally fulfilling an escaping agenda. They should have been lost in the din, should have been unable to hear each other, should have been unable to enjoy the company... yet, it seemed like the din was a world away from where they sat, even though they were in the middle of it. The over-rated din.The smiles and talk showed that they could hear what was being said perfectly, and understanding it seemed like the most obvious thing.

A while later, 4 shadows lay still on the sand. The shadows cast by the street lamp...yellow light. The owners of the shadows sat on the parapet wall, half talking, half staring at the starless sky, half listening to the breeze...and perhaps, fully thankful for the moment. It was in those few minutes that the reality of life itself seemed to dawn upon each one of them...there were times before, when each of them thought different things about life, about reality. But this experience seemed new...seemed fresh...seemed true. And the pleasant chatter that was enjoyed in the middle of the din suddenly seemed to disappear in the quietness of the night...like chatter and noise called for noise, but silence demanded silence...like the breeze was craving attention, and the clouds pleaded an audience for their slow dance...like the waves were trying hard to be heard at the distance and the sands weren't satisfied with being still and ignored. A little girl walked on the sand...stamping on every one of the 4 shadows on the sand, and then paused slightly to take a look at the 4 long shapes. Perhaps it amused her, but it wasn't good enough to take her attention away from her sand bucket. She walked on...leaving tiny footprints in the sand...footprints that stayed for hardly a second before the sands filled in the space, as if in anger of their even-ness being mutilated.

The words that were spoken, or heard were never to be forgotten. The very words seemed to give them a new purpose to their lives. It made them thankful for the years that breezed past, with tests and obstacles that seemed meagre compared to other things in the world. One felt blessed and in an inexplicable way, guilty, for leading the life that had been led so far. Another may have felt a mixture of pride and fear. The 3rd, seemed to have felt a resgined feeling with a tinge of pride that wouldn't be displayed... Sometimes, talking about small instances makes one realise the significance of the big picture. Part scary, part depressing, part challenging...all encountered with part hesitation...part courage. At the end of it all, when you know you can't achieve everything in a day, when you know things happen for a reason, when you feel like sometimes, you just have to believe in the existence of destiny, you pray. For there doesn't seem any other way to comfort one's feeling of worthlessness... insignificance... small-ness. But again you think... everything has its place and time. And you live on...do the little you can... and hope that someday, you too, will have a story to tell, and that story... will hit someone hard. Someday....

Yours "Every face has a story. every man has a destiny"ly
Signing off....

The small nothings... (really?)

2007-04-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

There are some things in life which you know you can make happen...but they just don't happen. All they need is a little push from YOUR side. But No...they seem like those unrealised dreams which you think will remain only dreams forever. Whether this applies to anyone who is reading this right now or not, it applies to me, period. My list is not too big. A part of the list, i know can happen if i want it to...but there are always a few things you can never tell for sure... I have decided not to categorize my list definitely for people to know! Ofcourse some things will be obvious... the 50-50 ones --> Keep guessing :) Yeah right, like thats the most interesting thing to do! I'll start... So finally, the nut who gets high on air, tells the world her silly and not-so-silly wishes she may or may not have the power to see become real!

Which one do i start with? God!

To go with the mood of the day - I want to be in a music concert of a musician/singer i love, i listen to alot, whose lyrics i could scream out even if i were woken up in my sleep, who would really make me scream out my lungs and jump real high, whose music i can relate to! I say this because i've been in a few carnatic music concerts, but none of the above necessary apply. I'm not saying i'm a no-no for carnatic, i like it too, but in a different way...but this has to be the way i want it! I've already missed enough and regretted.Waiting for the day!
I want to see, touch, play with, play in, feel the white-ness of...snow :) Preferrably during christmas time! (i've defintiely mentioned this before). I still don't know why... Maybe it just looks so beautiful. Like a balance of dullness and brightness that appeals to the senses.
I want to whistle in the theatres. I'm working on it ;-)
I want to satisfy every aspect of the desires my parents have for me for atleast a day... and i mean the small term ones, not the long term. Ofcourse I want to satisfy the long term ones too... but as of now, the daily ones.
I want to learn how to play tha violin :) and lately, the piano too!
Ironic and silly as this may seem... i want to be capable of having an answer to my brother's eternal question "what should i get you from here?" because "nothing" has started to bore the both of us a great deal.
I want to learn to cook as well as my mother, and my grandmother (peraasai thaan, yenna panardhu!)
I want to make a trip anywhere for a few days with just friends... preferrably Kenya :D Ok, on a more practical note, anywhere around here....
I might as well add... i want to take the guy i marry to one particular place in Kenya :)
I want to be at a first day, first show of a movie i've been dying to watch!
I want some shield that'll prevent me from thinking of the uncertainities in life! The maybe's and the maybe-not's! Well, work sometimes happens to be the best shield! None the less, i'd like a shield when i'm vetti ;-)
I want to get a proper haircut!!!!!!!

Ok thats not really eveything.... its the comparitively smaller things :) The bigger things ofcourse...are a mission! There, i'm open to judgement!

You could always leave your small list in the comments... we'd love to read them :)

Yours "If only...."ly

Signing off....

Alot of Crap

2007-03-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

I'm going to make this a mixed post, although i'd have liked to take up each thing in a different post. I don't think i can elaborate too much, considering there are quite a few things i'd like to put in. Ok, i better start! Get prepared to yawn. If you're reading this, it means you don't have anything else to do! So yawning wouldn't be too bad ;-)

You know how it feels to taste victory as a team? *heaven* The past few days has made me realise how important it is to play as many sports as possible when one is young! I thought of all the times when i had to play cricket by force, with my brother and the other guys around (i almost always miraculously happened to be the only girl!). I most definitely played more guy games than girl games! Climbed trees, and the likes! But well, i never really thought the cricket would come in handy till we lifted that cup today... :) Some victory! Medals, the trophy, faces tanned black and red, sour throats from screaming and teethy smiles! YAY!

Sometimes prayer is magical. Magical in a way that one has never experienced before. When i first saw my juniors last year, i realised why seniors feel like ragging juniors! Every single thing they did seemed so irritating, and one had a strong urge to rag! But ofcourse that didn't happened. But the way they prayed before our matches...and made us pray...has opened up a new found respect for them, and their team spirit! And there's always the magic of silence...nothing but the whistle of the wind...and 15 pairs of eyes closed...

I believe i was born on this earth for the sole purpose of eating, and eating alot! I love babycorn. And i love getting them off their covers as much as i love eating them. Ever noticed how remarkably smooth the fibre inside the cover is? If you haven't, you're missing one of nature's finest creations!

Music is such an integral part of life... *sigh* I'm currently addicted to the song named 'Maula Mere' from the movie anwar. And...and...and... i've developed a new liking for the piano! An instrument that has never been too close to heart. I was always crazy about the violin, and still have plans of learning how to play it (yeah right!). Maybe i've just started noticing the small piano pieces here and there in songs... nice :)

I'm hearing too many love stories nowadays. Real life. And its been a smooth realisation that cinema is inspired from real life! And real life is sometimes beyond things cinema portrays!

Mira Nair is directing the Shantaram movie, and Big B is acting in it. :( :( :( Johnny Depp, are u reading this? :( :( Can't you pick a better caste?!

I watched "Water" yesterday. A mixture of beauty and poignancy. A movie that gives you hope till the last 20 minutes... and ofcourse it'll make you wonder 'now, is that really John Abraham?!' Lisa Ray looks lovely. Brilliant perfomances by Seema Biswas and the kid, Sarala, as Chuhiya (I found the name immensely cute). And the song 'aayo re saki' seems so much more wow after watching the movie...the movie is worth watching for some very well placed, well shot, well written and aptly portrayed scenes :) A bold attempt - sensitive, humourous, romantic, hurt-ful, poignant...but beautiful.

Lesson for the week - Do not read in between lines when all that is required is to read the lines alone!

Well, thats it! If you're not already sleeping, you could comment :)

Yours "A white so pure, life so ironic"ly

Signing off....

Plays and Puppets

2007-03-18T01:01:00.000-07:00

Offering flowers in prayer is a Hindu tradition that is followed flawlessly at home. Buying flowers for the next day's pooja was an amusing cause of quarrel between my brothers, who are now blissfully settled in places where flowers are probably used for any purpose other than prayer! Why quarrel? Because either of them had to chauffeur my grand-dad to the flower cart of the old lady sitting outside a small temple at the corner of a street 5 minutes away from home. And of course there'd be times when my grand-dad would walk right out on them and walk it up to the flower woman and buy his flowers! But well, times change. My stubborn grand-dad, who staunchly believed that the best flowers in the place were sold by the old lady, had to settle for home delivery of flowers by someone else becuase it didn't seem feasible for him to walk down everyday, and nobody was ready to do the chauffeuring everyday anymore (maybe that means I didn't make the trips for him after my brothers left!). That is how it all started... the flower lady began to come home every evening with her basket of flowers.

There's some unknown force that links our flower lady to dinner time. Her timing is indeed commendable, considering we have no fixed time for dinner everyday. She makes it a point to ring our door-bell atleast when my grandparents are eating, if not the whole lot of us. And they have to leave their plates and slowly walk to the door, where she is comfortably seated, gaping at the television, and asking for a change of channel to catch glimpses of her daily soap - more commonly known as 'serial' here! You can just about assume that her eyes have forgotten how to blink...she's anyway too busy cursing the lead character or the villain! One evening i caught my grandmother in deep discussion with the flower lady. It was a little weird, considering my grandmother (a) Didn't have a plate with half-eaten food on the table and (b) wasn't calling out names of flowers with the amount she wanted. What was worse was that the discussion was almost a whisper, and my gossip-craving soul was instantaneously attracted to the hushed tones and the definitely drawn expressions on my grandmother's face! Maybe Flat no.2's servant maid's sister-in-law's cousin's daughter got pregnant before she got married? What disappointment my poor soul had to face when my ears made it clear to my brain that my dear grandmother was catching up on some episodes she'd missed from the 7 O' clock soap! Does this have any limits? *sigh*

Apparently, it doesn't! Gone are the days when i tried the tricks of elongating my round face to make it clear i don't approve of the remote control resting its half-broken back on my grandmother's hands rather than mine. Now, we accept the fact that the remote control belongs to her on week days, and even better, watch the soaps once in a while because something's better than nothing! And it has been my immensely useful discovery, out of true experience, that it is enough to watch one episode every 2 months to follow the story of every soap! Of course the finer details can always be skipped, or in desperate situations, brought out as a narrative from dear grandma! Thus the daily routine continues... they laugh with the characters, cry with the characters.... after all, all world's a play!

Thasall...

To those who were once here, and now dwell in a more wonderful place....Rest in peace. You'll be remembered forever, in the depths of our minds, in the smiles of our eyes, in the fogged memories that may be hazy, but never too unclear to see what we wish to see. God bless.

Yours "All world's a play...and all mortals, puppets"ly
Signign off....

Yours inspirationally...

2007-03-01T09:37:00.000-08:00

What inspires? A speech? A story? A quote? A movie? A person?

Sunsets, war movies (old style, with the horses and swords!) always inspire me! Braveheart, The last samurai, Lord of the rings, and even troy imparted that feeling...! Some nut eh? ;-) I remember being inspired by the story of 'the race for dna'. Being a biotechie, i found the story of a how an aspiring ornithologist,James Watson and a physicist (measuring viscosity of liquids!), Francis Crick came together to crack the structure of the secret of life, dna, that too after years of competition with a pioneer in the field of protein structure computation, Linus Pauling. Other stories, other quotes or single lines, even songs... they just make you stop for a while and think, and marvel, and wonder...they make you want to do something significant! I still dont know why inspiration is such a short-lived feeling. When it is present, it is overwhelming with its presence, but when it leaves, it leaves you devoid of a feeling of worthiness!

Long hours of travel to our destination, the heat and the distance should have put off anyone among our group who was attending the workshop on toxicology at kancheepuram. But at the end of the 2 day affair, we stood there applauding, wanting more. It is my strong belief that i wouldn't remember more than half of that workshop had it not been for this 20 minute speech by a prof. It was a mix of biology and philosophy, the best vote of thanks i have ever heard. It is very rare that a live speech makes you cry because of the sheer beauty of its contents...this one moved most of us to tears, and was talked about for hours in the bus. It inspired me to the extent of picking up the mic and thanking him for the speech - something i've never done before, and never ever dreamed of doing. So i'd like to say, to Dr.Venkatadri, the look in your eyes when you talked about the sunset and the rhapsody, the fools and the world, plato and biology...that look, was inspiration. And like one of my friends put it, Philosophy was never so beautiful till we met you!

There's this movie i watched today which in its own way was a little inspiring. A movie from which emanated so much postive-ness that even the most determined pessimist would remain optimistic for atleast sometime after watching it. Mozhi. We don't see too many tamil movies like this one these days. Light and floaty, but very beautiful, and very thought provoking, not easily forgotten, good music, excellent perfomances and characterisation. Its like a new genre of movies has evolved with the 'prakashraj production' tag. And every movie is getting better...while you can expect a good story and good perfomances from a mani rathnam movie, good entertainment and commercial cinema from a shankar film, prakashraj gives us the hope that his movies will be classic feel-good, with an under-current of very good humour. I reccomend this movie, highly.

And then there's this story of someone's life. Someone i respected for her experience in the field of cancer research, and her dedication towards the subject till i heard other things... After hearing her story, there's so much more respect and so much to learn from. Though the story of how she waited 2 years, and worked so hard just to get into the lab of her dreams, to satisfy her passion for cancer research is awe evoking, and very inspiring, the other side of her story makes one realise how much the choices we make in life matter, and how important it is to make the right decisions. It seems impossible that a person who has made so many sacrifices can exist...but there she stands, teaches, sits among us like she were one of us, jokes around about students, not ever allowing us to acknowldge the fact that we're blessed to have ever met her, and sit with her and hold subject talk and small talk. One wonders why her story had to be so complicated, why she had to undergo so many trials, why she had to deal with more than she could ever handle... but again, some things, some stories are just not meant to be understood...and we may spend a lifetime trying to understand them. Like a friend once wrote

"kuch kahaniyan, kuch daastayein, jo kabhi kisi ko samjane ke liye na banayi gayi ho, jise samajhne main kabhi shayad puri zindagi lag jaye"

Yours inspirationally
Signing off....

Trysts with the wild

2007-02-24T08:07:00.001-08:00

Happy 100th post dear blog!!!!!! Wow, some journey that ;-) I didn't know what special stuff to do for the 100th post. Didn't get any ideas like what i did for the 50th. So you'll just have to put up with a normal post! But well, its been acknowledged. This blog is an integral part of my boring life! and i love it, and all its readers! Thankyou!

Wondering what the pic is about? Read on!

The mobile creations of mother nature are best admired when they remain where they are supposed to be. In the past few months, i have come to realise that what one considers beautiful on a tree can become a nuisance when its somewhere you don't want it to be, and something you thought was cute, can get onto your nerves when it affects something dear to you. Lets get to the point.

The balcony is one of my favourites laze-zones at home. It became an even more comfy area once my grand-dad brought in this very normal plastic chair with a great cushion. I could sit there for hours doing nothing. The first thing about my balcony which was destined to be doomed was apparently the back side of the air conditioner, which juts out right at the top, slightly below the ceiling. None of the members who inhabit this abode ever paid much interest to that metal box, probably because it was way over head, and ofcourse, there's no necessity to strain one's neck and look up at it once in a while! Looks like the ac suffered from 'attention-deficit' disorder and decided it was high time it came into the lime light. It was sometime in March last year, when i woke up one morning and opened the balcony door, just to see two birds flutter out into the open in great hurry! Ofcourse they left back a feather or two as a souvinier, for me to look at till they came back after a few hours. The incident called for constant vigilance. I sat at my table with what in chennai is called an 'ottara kucchi', a loooong stick with a brush at the end used to remove cobwebs stuck to the ceiling. One had to tap the side of the ac as soon as
the birds (which we confirmed were infact pigeons!) flew into the balcony. But human as i am, i got tired of the irritating practice, and called it quits. Miraculously, the birds seemed to have stopped coming in! Or so we thought. The calender turned to october, and i started hearing sounds at night. Bird sounds. Pigeon sounds. I hit the ac with the stick, and they didn't budge! The activity of these birds then varied from dropping their dirty sticks and leaves all over the white floor, to blessing us with their feathers now and then, to (the most important of them all) colouring our white walls with their excreta! Or should i say they perhaps thought our walls looked so dull, and wanted to add some life to it, and maybe they also found the smell in the air too bland, and wanted the pleasant aroma of their SHIT to fill in! And then they advanced to dropping their matter on the floor, on my cushiony chair, on everything except, luckily, us! These acts of indecency called for a check on what they were doing up there, and how many members the family had! Our long-moustached watchman climbed a ladder up and informed us that there was a meticulously built nest, and 2 FAT pigeons! A cry from me to remove the nest was immediately opposed by my grand-dad's belief from yester-year that if a pigeon's nest was disposed off, it would bring rifts in the family! And believe me, he was so staunch with the belief that we put up with the stench and the dirt for a few more days. As everything has limits, so did my patience, and after he saw the art work of the birds on our table once fine morning, he called for the disposal! "whew!". The nest was indeed a piece of art. Very meticulously built. But the point was that this house we live in was also very meticulously built, and we dont have problem with birds building their nests meticuously on trees! As for the pigeons, they both went inside a plastic bag which our servent maid took home. Whether she ate them, or let them free is still a mystery, though she does claim she let them go! Our floor and walls successfully stank for over a day, inspite of the phenyl wash and my attempt with the room freshner! The gap between the ac and the ceiling was skillfully covered with cardboard boxes which were hibernating peacefully till that moment! No more pigeon trouble.

Just when we were convinced that the trysts between our balcony and wild had come to an end, another incident made us realise that our balcony was probably meant to be George of the jungle or Mowgli of jungle book! One of the gifts i got for my birthday was this very nice rope swing. It stayed on the floor for about a month, until we finally got the hooks ('S' kokkis!) and hung it a few days back. Now the balcony was paradise! Listening to radio at night, watching
the stars and swinging...aah! The swing was given so much attention. There was a whole photo shoot with it! Each member of our family took turns to sit on it and smile, while others stood at the back and smiled wider. And i must say, it was a very photogenic swing. The photos were promptly sent to all the NRI members of the family and the happy comments were passed. And then, mysteriously, the swing started developing HOLES in the corners. At first, we thought the
poor structure could not withstand the bulky weight of our bodies, and i must say that none of us burdened the swing less than the other! More of the rope started to disappear. It was very very creepy. Yesterday, as i walked in from college, i heard my mother shouting "pudichaachu! there's the culprit!". I ran out to the balcony to see a squirrel happily nibbling away to glory, and in the process, getting a free ride on the swing! Ha! How happy and comfortable it looked! It ran away when it realised it had an audience, but promptly came back when we hid and waited.That was it! My mother took the swing (or what was remaining of the swing) off the hook and placed it on the floor of the room. Turns out the squirrel got angry. The mats in the balcony, which haven't been attacked till date, were all bitten, and their fragments lay on the floor, lifeless! What's more, the little creature had the guts to enter the house and nibble at the swing that was sitting on the floor! Oh God save! And i apparently find squirrels very cute. *sigh* Thus ended the short life of my beloved swing!

Pigeons and squirrels are nice to watch when they're on trees. Now, after some not-so-nice experiences, my mind refuses to forget the bitterness of the stench and dirt and nibbled fragments and the early death of a gift. And so my balcony stands swing-less, awaiting the next encounter with the wild! Lets see how long this break lasts!

PS: The picture depicts what i'd be doing if the swing were still alive. And that pic, is among the numerous ones we took.

Yours "looks like i'm not the only one who loves the balcony'ly

Signing off...

GONE?

2007-02-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

This post is very very sudden. I'm supposed to be either sleeping right now, or studying! Though the former seems inviting, and the latter seems a necessity, i find myself compelled to sit and type out this post because (a) My Blog hasn't seen an update in way too many days for my standards and (b) Some incidents in life have to be recorded as soon as possible! I don't know how many of you noticed the 17th of feb hype a few posts back. 17th of feb just passed, and looks like it was a day meant to make a mark on every year's calender henceforth, for me! And so it did, despite my strong belief that it wouldn't! Need i rattle on further?

My smile in a matter of seconds, turned from METALLIC to NON-METALLIC! My braces came offfffff!!!!! : D :D Aww the freedom! Actually, it feels very weird to feels one teeth again and use a normal brush and have a mouth devoid of rubberbands! I couldn't believe my ears when the golden words were spoken, though they were a little technical, i felt like slapping my dentist... "So, shall we de-bind them today?" and instead of jumping up and screaming, i said "yeah sure" without even smiling! Ofcourse all the jumping happened at home!

Ok, i'm running short of time! So one last time... YAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! :D

Yours "the alloy stopped hugging my teeth"ly

signing offff....

A 2 hour incident

2007-02-04T03:26:00.000-08:00

UPDATE 15/02/07 - Happy birthday Anish! Have a great day, and a great year to come :)

They walk in, wearing the same colour, bags slung on their shoulders, their expressions un-readable. They make their way to the back of the room, perhaps in search of privacy from the chattering crowd, savouring food, having fun like a bunch of maniacs living the last day of their lives. They sit down, but not next to each other. He takes a seat at the rectangular table's longer side, and she at the shorter side. Their lines of sight intersect at a right angle. Silence seems like the preferred mode of communication for a while, or more than a while... She looks at him, he keeps his face straight, looking at the noisy group of girls right infront of him, perhaps wondering how people can still afford to be happy when his life seems like a road with way too many potholes...a road where enjoying a ride seems like a distant notion. She stares at him...at his unbelievable determination to not look her side...and then she looks away, perhaps with a mixed feeling of rage and guilt. She then pulls her bag up to the table, and places her head on the bag, her face down, as if in defeat. He finally looks at her...she doesn't move her head. He takes to looking outside the window above her head, where another gang sit on a parapet wall fooling around in the hot sun. The noisy group of girls were now getting louder with a video shoot..damn why did cellphones ever have to be invented?

She lifts her head, slightly relieved to see that he's changed the position of his head. She talks, like she's explaining something. He doesn't flinch. The expression on his face can now be clearly read as anger, and hers, apology mixed with anger. She continues to talk...he says something, and turns his head back to the group of girls, the anger and her words bringing tears to his eyes. They reverse postitions...he puts his head down, she stares straight ahead. Tired of looking at his lowered head, she begins to read. Out of the silence and the strained atmosphere, she hears a voice. She looks up to see a friend enquiring in a genuinely concerned tone whether everything's ok. She tells him its all fine, and he shrugs and walks away. He lifts his head after a while and she closes her book...she talks again. Her hands move...slapping the air in various directions...as she tries to prove her point, convince him, explain to him. The strands of her hair that escaped being tied back,dance on her forehead as she shakes her head vigorously in argument. He begins to talk, his face displaying pain as it could never be described, holding back tears. She fights back, making him remove the glasses that rested on his nose and place 3 fingers of his right hand on his closed eyes...She walks out on him. He sits there alone, his half grown beard complementing the eyes glistening with held-back tears, and his expression. The girls at the table infront of him are now busy almost breaking their juice glasses shouting cheers!

Just as he puts on his glasses, resigning himself to any fate, she walks back in with another couple. She sits next to him. Was the argument over? The foursome speak. The couple that joined them joke around a little. She looks at him for a long moment, and then places her head on his shoulder. He can't understand her, but he smiles. He smiles a big smile, with all his teeth, and pushes her head off his shoulder in mischeif. They both smile giving their faces an expression that seemed impossible a few minutes ago. Her kohl filled eyes also glisten with tears as she looks at him now, maybe feeling blessed to have ever met him, and to have him by her side till whenever... He looks at her smiling, seeming happy, but maybe wondering what it is in her that makes every argument so short lived, and why on earth looking into those kohl filled eyes and dancing strands on her face gave him such satisfaction. The noisy group of girls slowly lined out of the table infront of them.

Having witnessed this 2 hour drama, i have a question - Are relationships worth it all?

This topic is open for discussion ;-)

Yours "Some observation that"lySigning off...

20 on 20th!

2007-01-21T08:46:00.000-08:00

Through the times of insignificance rose a moment of significance. A moment that turned into an hour, and eventually, a day never to forget. Like i'd already mentioned in the comments section of my previous post, i have these amazing people around me who never let my birthday pass by like just any other day... This post is a tribute to each one of them, whose wishes i'll carry along with me for life, and whose doings are never to be forgotten. I don't think things get better! One of my friends very correctly stated that the 20th of january will tell me how non-insignificant life actually is! I agree. Its some great feeling, and one never gets tired of sayin thanks. So once again, to each one of you, who made my day what it was, Thanks a million! God bless you all!

Right from my 12 o' clock wishes, and the before 12 wishes (people who said, am very sure i wont be able to catch you at 12, so am wishing you before hand even if its technically not yet 20th!), the sms', the day calls, the ISD calls, and std calls, the mails, the cards, the gifts, the visits...each of those...made me feel so... significant! And ofcourse, all those were all the better with the first round of chocolate pastries, which were dutifully squashed onto every member's face, thereby giving the photo a title "cake faces", and the 2nd HUGE, yummy, chocolate, full, round cake with 20 freaking candles on it, in a dark room... *sigh* surprises make the heart overwhelm with...i don't know what! I'm finding it difficult to put to words what i felt... but if there's one thing thats for sure, it was a postitive feeling...it was something euphoric! It was one of those rare days when i had no problem whatsoever in displaying my braced teeth, and not artficially, in genuine smiles, and surprisingly, my mouth didn't want to stop doing it! It didn't hurt...from the minute i woke up to a number of msgs on my cell, to 11.00pm when the last guests left...to much later, when i finally drifted into slumber. The whole day seemed too good to be true... like it happened to someone else, or to some part of me that didn't exist till that minute, and then suddenly became a part of the different parts that make me.

The day was probably the ONLY good thing my college has ever done to me. We were taken aback, and very very happy when saturday was declared a holiday... it was all perfect! There wasn't a single moment which came close to being sad...except this realisation of the number 20! 20 somehow feels BIG. Really BIG! Like all your young and sweet days are gone forever...like its defining a whole new phase in life. Like hell, my mom got married when she was around 20!! That should say something now! Any comments on that? ;-)

I don't want to list out the names of people who i'd like to thank, for the fear of missing out anyone. So... to ALL of you out there, who made 20/01/2007 my best birthday ever, who kept me smiling the whole day, who made me nostalgic to the point of tears, who spread warmth with the first sound of voice, who left my palms stuck to my mouth in awe, who made me chuckle with the teasing tones, who said it all in one look, one deed, one word... THANKYOU! Love you all! You know there's this song...in which someone's being asked the most she's said with just one word... For this moment, i'd say my word 'thanks' means a million things, but still, if not the most, its the least i can say! God bless!

PS: I paid my dentist a visit too on my b'day. Looks like he wanted to see me too! But well, he didn't give me the gift i was waiting for.... :( he didn't take my braces off! But he promised me that 17/2/07 is goin to be the day! :D

Yours "days to be remembered, perfect...they're all perfect..."ly
Signing off....

Insignificance

2007-01-17T08:30:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: 20/01/07 - Happy birthday Devs!!!!!!!! Hope you have a day as rocking as ever. And well, you could say same to you if you want! :D And may your day, your year, and every other day be...brighter than SUNSHINE ;-) Have a great day!!

Can one ever lead such an insignificant life that its acknowledgement wouldn't be necessary? If i say yes, it would contradict the words you see under my blog title. But considering the past 5 days, maybe i will have to contradict those words! You wait for holidays, they come, and before you know it, you're typing a post about how they're all over, and you don't know where the hell they went away to so fast! The pongal season is always looked forward to...if not for the pongal, atleast for the holidays! And being in chennai, i spent one whole day glued to the television. And the other days seem like a haze now. I do remember that i watched Guru :) And that i rode along besant nagar beach at 1.00pm, with the hot sun trying to penetrate my skull. I watched 3 movies, two of which were filled with japanese - chinks. I've always thought that ALL chinks look the same. If there's one thing those 2 movies made me realise, its that they DO look different after all! And one of those movies, i really liked. The last samurai. Am in no mood to write about the movie. The other movie was Memoirs of a Geisha.

Well, since i did say that all that happened was insignificant, lets move on to the only thing i could say holds some significance. I did something i never did as a kid, and never thought i'd ever do. I SWALLOWED MY RUBBERBAND! The one on my braces (i dont think i've gone to the extent of swallowing the one i use to tie up my hair yet!). The realisation of the missing rubberband first took me to all rooms of the house, to find out if i'd removed it and kept it somewhere...but well, no trace of the green thing anywhere! Considering i'd just finished my dinner, i had to accept the hard truth...that my stomach had been invaded by something my teeth would never grind, and my intestines would never digest! *sigh*

And so i live on with the insignificance... its sort of fun in a way, but it makes one lethargic, and sleepy, and bored, and unwilling to move out of the house and catch a bit of sunshine, burried in one's own thoughts, thinking about the hurdles to cross, wondering whether one is destined to do what one is presently doing... i end this post with the most significant lines i have heard in these few insignificant days...

Katsumoto: You believe a man can change his destiny?
Algren : I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.
----The last Samurai

Yours "Perfect...They're all perfect" ly
Signing off...

Out of a painting, Out of a moment

2007-01-05T08:25:00.000-08:00

Blood stained skies, red. With blotches of purple, like a blood clot on hurt skin...patches of blue, like hope showcases itself in a less intense shade of copper sulphate, streaks of angry orange... the flame displaying its ferocious acts... an even spread of pink, almost making the wide open space feminine... hints of pale green...tranquility among the pleasing harshness of colour, tinges of yellow...blending with, and getting lost in the orange. A sombre sun, half hiding, lazily drifting into the unknown, throwing its last rays out in impeccably straight lines, acting like it has nothing whatsoever to do with the riot of colours dancing in the sky, holding a pair of eyes in awe, a pair of eyes that refuse to look away for any reason, big or small. The trees, the coconut trees, blessed with a green so natural, sway slightly in the breeze, appear black in the hours of twilight. A black that reveals the symmetry of the big leaves, and their patterns, their ends pointing into the open, poking the air with their sway...reaching out for the hues. Birds, big and small, shed all their colour and fly into the horizon in all blackness, their formations flawless, their wings moving in waves, like a lullaby at a distance.

And the eyes still remain fixed, resisting blinks, in an evening reverie, a reverie that got invited to prevail forever, but didn't, looking at something beyond the colour, beyond the festival in the sky, beyond the horizon...lose strands of hair tickle the neck and ears, as if answering some ungiven order of the wind. And the lips, now dry from a continuous half open mouth, in conspiracy with the eyes in admiration, begin to mutter...words flow out in such brilliant coherrence, that interpreting meaning would seem useless, all that mattered was the words, near poetry, poetry without rhyme, a song without a tune, a story without a plot, a play without characters, a voice without varying tones, like a dream on earth...an unwritten destiny pulling the cart of life. And a thousand hapinesses were lived in that moment, a thousand heartbreaks burst out in that single tear. The eyes still remained fixed. Watching the spectacle through a glistening tear that refused to trace its way down the easy path of the cheek. And there it was, a minute of completeness, a balance of emptiness and fullness, a moment of equal clarity and haziness, a tear of joy and sorrow in one, a mixed sense of achievement and loss, a moment of the truth and the fake on par, the bridge between that relished past and the feared, ambiguous future. All in that moment of complete one-ness. Of self acknowledgement. Of a floaty, dreamy truth. Of life itself.

Yours "moments..."ly
Signing off

2 0 0 7

2006-12-31T12:03:00.000-08:00

2007. Happy new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To the whole wide world. I was personally dreading this year as it happens to be a year of decisions for me. But now that it is here, i welcome it with the grace of a ballerina ;-) and a will of iron (yeah?), a mind like the free breeze (as free i hope), and a vision as clear as saint gobain glass (ha!) :D I wish....I wish... Its going to be some task, making things fall into place. But i hear challenges enrich the soul, make people grow, feed the mind... and i think i have to get ready to see if all that is indeed true!

Wow, some blabberation that para was. Anyway, i didn't do a 'looking back on 2006' post... when i think of 2006, the first thing that comes to my mind is.... obviously....the football worldcup. The Italian Glory. I don't think i ever cried watching any match before, but that match... n even the semi finals match where italy won...some feeling i'd never experienced before. And i'll never forget how it felt like to be screaming sitting on the floor of a dark room, only inches away from the television. I do think of alot of other things also, but this is what i'd like to mention, because it meant so much to me! I dont even know how... but it meant so much. Another big discovery made in 2006 - Nothing sticks to your braces worse than popcorn. Dont ever try to speak, or laugh, or smile if you've just had popcorn. For the love of your own maanam!
Craziest moment of 2006 - Footsie's naming. Some carnival that was!
Jumpiest moment - Maybe right before the new year dawned. The music realy got to me!
Most awe evoking moment - At kenya, in January, at the arc.
My Hero of 2006 - Big Surprise!! Johnny Depp :D
My Mr.awww of 2006 - Bill Pullman ;-)

Ok this is getting way too *rolling eyes* types with all my heroes and crap! Anyway, I'd like to wish you all a very happy new year. May the best of everything come to you in 2007, and always.

2007, here i come. Fight me all you can ;-)

Yours "We're not making any reslotions are we? Any comments Calvin?"Ly
Signing off.....

Chlorophyll in my nails

2006-12-26T02:48:00.000-08:00

I love the colour green. Infact, it happens to be my favourite colour. I think that happened because i fancied wearing green while playing hide and seek as a kid, convenient as it was for camouflage, to hide in the bushes, behind the plant fences, on the trees. Half my wardrobe consists of green clothes, much to my mother's disapproval, as a result of which shopping with her would mean buying non-green clothes. Sad for me, for i hardly ever shop without her. The only time i went diwali shopping with one of my friends, my mother(who was in kenya at that time) was smart enough to tell her that greens, blacks and off-whites are not allowed! And very annoyingly, my friend stuck to the code, and didn't allow me even to look at clothes having those colours as the main! And i ended up getting something in rust. RUST. Ok, it wasn't so bad actually!

Green can be such a radiant colour. When you're cooking something, and say you have a mix of tomatoes and capsicums or beans on the stove, you'll realise it looks very nice, in way that appeals not only to your eyes, but to your mouth too :) And then one suddenly thinks about all the colours that are so richly present in the things we take for granted, in the things we dont bother to take a second look at... The rich red of apples, the subtle yellow of the babycorn, the happy orange of the carrot, the dark purple of the betroot, the pink-purple-white blend of the turnip, the lush green of cabbage, the dark green of okra, the pleasant green of capsicum, the pastel green of lime, the shiny green of chillies, the dull green of beans, the wet green of coriander, the fresh green of spinach. The fresh green of spinach. Spinach. One green i like looking at. But when that green takes advantage of my liking for it, and abuses my taste buds, and forces its way through my oesophagus, it crosses a line so delicate, that it spoils the relation between us. To be more direct, i hate spinach. Keerai.

Need i mention the varieties? Molai keerai, murungu keerai, paalak, methi..blah. If there's anything besides the green that i like about keerai, its chopping it. The process is quite complicated, considering the leaves need to be painfully seperated from their dear stems they've always been attached to, and thought they'll be attached to forever. Once the plucking has been satisfactorily carried out, chopping round 1 begins. There's this krrr krrr krrr sound that arises from the movement of the knife, backward and forward on the leaves awaiting execution, that could easily pass for music, depending on what one defines music to be. To me, the sound of the knife on keerai comes second only to the sound of a knife on capsicums! Crazy as that might sound, it is true. Removing the mid-portion of a capsicum, containing the seeds, the portion that is not usually eaten by normal humans, gives a sound that my brother and i find absolutely appealing. If one has not ever heard it before, i suggest one does it asap. Coming back to the keerai, round 1 of chopping usually results in uneven bits of leaf, strewn around the place, making it seem more like a mess than ever. And so one steps into round 2 of the chopping, making the bits more even in size, making them smaller, re-cutting the tender stems which are allowed entry with the other leaves. Aah then one stares at the vessel...with the mass of green staring back, and maybe even yelling out "how dare you hurt me so!" depending on one's state of mind. That done, one gives the mass of green the holy bath, under tap water, in an attempt to keep away from their intimidating stares. The cooking of the mass of green can be elaborated in
a whole different post by itself, but i shall refrain.

So lets just say one keeps the vessel aside... and one realises one's hands have a green tinge. One's nails are definitely green too. What do they call it? Aah, chlorophyll. When i had first come across that word, early in school, maybe in my 4th std, i remember pronouncing it again and again, using not only my tongue and voice, but my whole mouth and jaw, and telling people around me that the reason plants are so green is because of CHLO-RO-PHYLL. And so one turns to the next task at hand...forcing the green out of one's nails. *sigh* And as one does that... flashes of an experiment carried out in the biology laboratory encroach upon the brain's territory. There it was, a whatmann no.1 filter paper, protruding from a test tube, holding on it, adsorbed pigments from a leaf that was crushed with the help of a mortar and pestle, the pigments loosened out by acetone and petroleum ether. The pigments occupied parts of a bell shaped design...colours green, yellow and a light orange forming curves. It was easily the most interesting experiment that year, and the most beautiful thing the bio lab had seen, other than the royal colour of copper sulphate blue. Another colour that remains one of my favourites. I think i'll stop here. Though considering the number of topics i've touched, i could go on forever, as one thing always leads to another, and one thought triggers another.

comments section - tell us your favourite sounds, and colours :D

Lastly, i'd like to say a little prayer for my uncle who passed away recently. May his soul rest in peace, and may he find more happiness than he ever had. God Bless.

Yours "krr krr krr" ly
Signing off....

With love

2006-12-22T01:23:00.000-08:00

For as far as my memory can stretch, the cards i've given/sent my parents, or relatives, have always been signed "Love, Dibs and Divs". Dibs, being my brother. And as i was sigining my father's birthday card a few days back, i started to wonder, for how much longer i'm going to sign cards that way... wonder if my bro still signed the cards he sent, that way. You know its a little strange when you realise some habits wont last forever... There will come a time when maybe i'd realise that i'm old enough now, and so is he, and I'm telling my parents something that i feel, and maybe he doesn't feel that way... and ultimately, my cards are going to have my kids names in them, and maybe there wouldn't be space for my brother's name... and ofcourse, he'll have his kids names to list down to, and i wont figure there....

Its all about growing up i guess, and growing older...to my parents, the both of us will always be the same... their kids...But i keep wondering when i'll stop thinking of my brother and me as one, atleast in matters such as these... though he really doesn't live in this house anymore, there's not a single day paati wont say something about him when she's making sambar, or i'll just listen to some song and remember how the balcony witnessed the worst sound ever, his strumming and my singing...

Well, i'm not giving you another senti post about my brother. nope. Today happens to be my father's birthday... So i'd like to say Happy birthday Dearest appa...you're the best! Its been years since i was with my dad for his birthday, or mine. So, gifts have invariably been in the form of words, and cards (to him). I've never really got him the perfect gift, or given him a surprise or anything... when i got old enough to realise its fun doing things like that, and that it'll really make him happy, and mean alot, the circumstances for such an event to happen just weren't right. But someday, i should make it happen...for the person he's always been, and the strength of his character, and his subtle ways...for being the perfect father i'll always look up to. anyway, for now, I wish he has a great day, and a great year cuz he deserves every bit of it.. :)

So pop, Many more happy returns of the day...

With lots of love,
Yours truly,
Dibs and Divs

Signing off....

Sinful Something

2006-12-20T01:06:00.000-08:00

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate!

Hmm... i just came across that very recently, and it led to the triggering of such wonderful signals in my nerves, that i felt like i was eating chocolate, tasting it when my tongue had nothing but saliva, smelling it when there was nothing around but the smell of a rotting black banana (which i just chucked btw). Every occasion in my house has been graced by the presence of chocolate cake, God knows why the other flavours were never given a chance! (well am very sure that its because i invariably bought the cakes, and i always wanted to eat chocolate!). I don't know what it is about chocolate....but the taste of melting chocolate on my tongue always makes me say 'heaven' once i'm done swallowing it!

And then there's this other thing about chocolate. I love licking molten chocolate off my fingers! I know so many people who find that utterly disgusting and unhygenic, but to me, its just yum! And because i love doing this, i give dairy milk chocolate bars enough time to melt away to liquidity in my bag and then open them on the bus journey back home...and then lick the chocolate with alot to stare at out of window (including sunsets and cloud patterns, nice buildings and dirty water - colours green and brown). Thats what i call the perfect journey home.

Single pieces of cake, with single candles always make it into the house on birthdays. And there's this bliss one gets out of getting just one bit of that cake. Somehow seems more satisfying than having a whole, big, round cake saying happy birthday blah sitting infront of you! I started writing this post because there's a new bakery that's come up very close to my house... and its called "Sinful something". I loved the name, but i'm yet to check it out. The fat lady behind the counter looks like she does half the eating when she's baking, but she looks very pleasantly plump, like how a chocolate cake seller should be :D Ok, i don't know what that was supposed to mean.

Anyway, this is a tribute to Barista's chocolate excess (still cant thank nidhee and nanya enough for getting me those for my birthday!) And Java green's Death by chocolate, which i eat more often than any other chocolate cake! And well, i love brownies too! :D And maybe i should also say its a tribute to the movie Chocolat. The chocolate in that movie is so mouth watering, and so lovely looking, that it makes you yearn for chocolate to touch your tongue! I remember pausing the movie, getting a bar of mars, and then continuing it. *sigh* well, not to leave out the fact that Johnny Depp so rocked :D Now you know why i watched it in the first place! ;-)

Ok, quite a useless post. But well, what's blogging for?

Yours "Now i feel like eating chocolate cake, dont u?"ly
Signing off.....

A Christened Divine Globe

2006-12-13T08:54:00.000-08:00

Honourable guest, Her Craziness, Divya Pattabiraman solicits your esteemed presence on the occasion of the christening of her "divine globe", her football, on the 13th of december 2006, at 1700hours, at the breeze filled terrace of her appt. All edibles are welcome, Gifts in the form of blessings!

Thus began one of the craziest incidents in my life, and am sure, in the lives of the people who were a part of this 'incredulous event' (as one of my friends put it). I had asked for suggestions...names for my football a while back (here). Thanks to all of you who contributed, and took the issue with good spirit, rather than raising your eyebrows and pronouncing me a totally gone case ;-)

I think putting into words all the happenings would be quite a task, for too much happened. But well, i guess i have to give you the name of my divine globe... The football was christened Footsie Iyer Baggio alias Roberto alias Tequila. :D I am very proud of all 3 names! The first name was a combination of many suggestions, the second was because my favourite football player is Roberto Baggio (that should explain the last part of the first name!) and the 3rd name, was suggested by s_h_r_u_t_i!! But i also picked the name on another friend's insistence that tequila will be perfect because of the term "Tequila shot". So i might as well take a tequila shot by kicking my football! And so the names were decided, and bestowed upon the divine globe on the fated december evening!

I think the sequence of events would be best explained with the photographs... :) this has been the biggest event for me this year i guess!

The document/declaration drafted for the witnesses to sign. Great care was taken in wording it, and putting in extra details like the menu!! and the accessories for footsie (the angavastram and drishti pottu etc!) Traditional ishtyle. The kolam on which the divine globe was placed. Lavanya's hand at kolam!
The crowned, angavastram clad globe with its party-hatted brothers for company! And ofcourse, chocolate cake! (they refused to let me name the brothers!)
The NAMING!! (looks like a knighting though!) "I hearby pronounce the divine globe Footsie Iyer Baggio alias Roberto alias Tequila" (nidhee, thanks for changing baggio to banjo!)
Tradition again. Whispering the name of the christened 'article' thrice into its ear! Like nanya said "err, where exactly is the ear? What if i whisper into the nostril?"! Shruti seemed to have found the ear though!
She'z got the whole world, in her hands! Actually, 2 ;-) Yeah crazy times, crazier people! At the time this pic was taken, there was a band playing some hindi songs for a marriage i guess, and loudly...and we had a smart comment from nidhee "Div so nice of you to have arranged a band and all for us, we appreciate it!" Ofcourse it called for 'the look' from me!
There can never be such a get together without food! In addition to the pasta, the fryums came in handy ;-)
The group!With one of them missing... late comer! (Who promptly held her ears and apologised to footsie,bending on her knees!After which a plate of pasta landed on her hands with no issues!)

Thats it i guess. Alot more happened ofcourse, but one can't accomodate everything!

I was just wondering why on earth i decided to do such a thing... and then i thought " Hey come on, how many people live to tell their grandchildren that they were once a part of a football's naming ceremony?" And there, there was no pain realised in the hours spent to chop vegetables and make the pasta, or scrub footsie clean, or go buy the party hats or anything! The whole day was so much fun :D I'd really really like to thank my friends who came over, and got crazier than me, crazier than i expected them to get, and made the evening one whacky memory! Love you all! Sukanya, Lavanya, Ananya, Shruti and Nidhee!

I've been lately addicted to another song i rediscovered... "Pal" by KK... and the first line of the song, i dedicate to those people who just made my day...

"Hum, Rahe ya na rahe kal
Kal, yaadh aayenge yeh pal"

Well, months after i planned to hold this, and hours after i started preparations, 140 photographs and 2 videos later, there's this great feeling of having achieved something... weird i never got that feeling after writing any exam! Thank God for craziness, and the things it does to people :D

Yours "and thats how my divine globe got a name"ly
Signing off....

When they get to your head...

2006-12-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

UPDATE - 12/12/06 - Happy birthday Bharat! If anyone's wondering who i'm talking abt - Happy birthday Tsb! (its happened, i'll just say 'bharat' in conversation flow, and the other person'll be like "who?" , and then i'll have to say umm, tsb!) Anyway, tsb, take some time off from your research articles, and chagas disease and have a blast! After all, its not a crime to get back to being the lord of randomness ;-) Hope you have a great day, and a wonderful year to come. We're hoping you'll give us more updates! If you were in chennai, your birthday cake would definitely have been idly/pongal with 20 candles planted on it! But since you dwell in the idly-less wilderness called toronto, you'll have to put up with normal, boring cake! ok, have a nice day. God bless.
I give you this.
And for your sake, Happy birthday Rajnikanth! ;-)

You know the exams are getting to your head when....

MBA becomes Molecular Beacon Aptamer.
Ppt becomes 'precipitate' rather than 'power point' (This one's for sandhya! Who actually asked me 'did you send the precipitate to your cousin?')
You have dreams, Tarzan fashion. Just that you're hanging on a rope from the pyrole ring structure of glucose rather than trees!
You instruct your mother to add equimolar quantities of rice and rasam to your plate!
You end up telling anyone who'll listen to you that trangenesis is very sinful as it involves super-ovulating female mice/cows, mating them, sacrificing them when they're still pregnant and then flushing out their oviducts to retreive the eggs for DNA microinjection! ARGH! Yes, i'm obsessed! Last sem i was obsessed with rennin production, which was previously got by sacrificing new born calves! (I do know biotech involves so much of sacrificing the animal world to save we mortals, but it still feels so bad! Murderers!)
You stare at your fist, open it and close it, and realise how fast your contractile muscles are working, how fast the nerve signal is being transmitted, and how much work your body has to do just because you FELT LIKE moving your palm! And you make a genuine attempt not to move any muscle unnecessarily!
You look at your hair, and think of how inserting some keratin gene into sheep induced over-production of their fleece! Will it work with me?
You're addicted to some kind of eatable! Last sem it was mars chocolate. I had to eat one every afternoon at a particular time...this sem, its been peppy mini cheese balls! Or cheetos...*sigh*
Finally, you have elaborate conversations with the pictures of football players stuck up on your pin-up board. (Ronaldo, do you know your head is as round as the football? What if someone kicks it mistaking it for the ball? Ronaldinho, do you know your teeth are so big and sharp, i could scrape a coconut? Beckham, i don't know why i'm so oscillating when it comes to liking you...One day you're all giving amazing free kicks for england, the next you're promoting some big beck perfume and hoping you're 4th kid's a girl! argh!)

Besides all that... there are my exam sms'... 3 more for this sem! Heights of ridiculousness!

Enzyme Engineering and Technology

How're the enzymes treating you? I bet they have no clue, that the sky is blue, and they deserve to live in the loo, till they get a flu, and a speech from laloo, on how to make the paper a hulabaloo!

Genetic Engineering

Chromosomes walking in my head, Chimera infesting my bed, Looking at AGTC my poor eyes bled, Leaving my body, my brain fled, To hell with your genes! - it mockingly said, and continued to savour molded bread, and so into a brainless head i fed, Facts and figures, white and red, Till my Doc declared me half dead!

Bioprocess Principles

Do you know the story of bioprocess? It was brought to the world by Moses, But ditched him and joined the circus, Where it got dumped into a heap of molasses, Sat on the graveyard crosses, Jumped onto the tuxedo of the scientist Contois, Made friends with the lab Funguses, And finally entered our brain closets!

Thats it :D For last sems crazy sms', you can have a look at this.

Have just one more paper to go. And then i'll come up with a more worthwhile post! Till then, please entertain yourself with this, and entertain others by putting up poems in the comments section if you please!

Yours "Till my doc declared me half dead"ly

Signing off......

N'-5'-Phosphoribosyl formimino-5-amino imidazole-4-carboxamide ribonucleotide isomerase!!!!

2006-11-26T11:19:00.000-08:00

UPDATE : 2/12/06 --- HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHRUTI!!! :D Have a rocking day! And may the coming year bring us more singing sessions (rather, killing the songs sessions!), craziness sessions, HP discussions, Depp oggling sessions and the likes ;-) And obviously, more 'lets land up at divya's house' sessions :D :D And am awaiting my 'special' treat! Told u i love the special treatment! hehe... anyway, have a nice day man. God bless.

Exam time... i need to have a post related to them! But am definitely not talking about the only paper i've written...

I loved some of the sms fwds that came in recently...exam fwds! here's a sample.

RULE OF HALVES
Half the portion is not covered.
Half the covered portion is not properly taught.
Half the properly taught portions you wont learn.
Half of what you learn, you don't understand.
Half of what you understand, you won't remember.
Half of what you remember wont be asked.
Half of what is asked, you won't be able to answer.
And Half of what you write will get half the marks!
So why learn and waste time?

Well... learn and waste time to get atleast those half marks! I don't know how relevant it is to people across the globe, but it definitely holds good to a certain extent for us anna uni students!

DECLARATION
At the end of the exam paper...
I hereby declare that the answers written above are true to the best of my friend's knowledge and belief. I claim no responsibilty of the correctness of answers. All the answers I've written are fictitious and are related to no real subject matter. Its just written for enjoyment (!!!no!). Any resemblance with the correct answer is purely coincidental!

Well... nice time pass!

And thanks to shruti for those 2 messages right before my first exam! ;-)

Another one that i really laughed at!

Go switch on sun news immediately. Exam has been postponed due to floods!
(i was like ehh?) *scroll down*
First anniversary for this message!

Ok it might have been pretty yawny! But i was getting too groggy with biochem, not to mention sleepy and saturated. Everything started moving tangential to the head... and maybe my glucose/carbohydrate/energy/ATP levels aren't high enough for quick activity and productive grasping! Or my ion channel pumps arent working quick enough(maybe they want me to sleep too?)... There, i really have been into bioechem havent I ;-) And there i go blabbering yet again... *sigh* After effects for studying from immovably fat books for 3 days :( And its just the beginning... Am so waiting for dec 12th! AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh cant they just get over!

PS: The title of this post is actually an enzyme used in synthesis of the amino acid Histidine! I happily skipped it just cuz the names were too long! :D Pl pray it doesn't come! please!

PPS: Nov 26th - Happy birthday Charenya!!!! VMites - Our class charenya! Another doc in the making!

Yours "what a contrast to the prev post" ly
Signing off....

Reminiscence

2006-11-20T04:58:00.000-08:00

Nothing interesting to update :( But there's something all the same.

Wishes... to my cousin, Who lived with me for 4 good years, and is now having one hell of a time in the USA sleeping at 5 in the morning and all... i think i'll call him 'sleepless in Raleigh'... To Karthik - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!! for the 21st of nov. Hope you have a great great day, and a lovely, less hectic, wonderful year to come! God bless.

Thinking about him makes me remember some very desperate situations in my life, for which he did the calling of the desperate measures... its like... sometimes you wonder what the hell you would have done if a few people weren't with you in life. He's one such person... always been around when one needed help. And great company when you want to have a fun conversation! I can just recall my dog bite...and how he took me staright to the doc inspite of having an exam the next day! I still remember telling him " Hey i got bitten by a dog da!" And he was studying... and he looked up and said "Yenna di solra!!" and thus started quite a tension filled, painful day! And then there were the floods...i remember the way he held my hand and dragged me to the end of my street through waist deep water wearing a helmet on his head, looking like an astronaut (though astronauts never dress in beckham jerseys and shorts!)... i would have never reached college for my exam if it werent for him! And the exam promptly got cancelled... heavens! Why talk only about the desperate situations? We had great fun too... i made him cut a slice of chocolate cake in the terrace once on his birthday... so that we could watch the sunset together! (well, it was more me dragging him to watch it then him enjoying it.. but he definitely enjoyed the cake!)...and the million and one times we stayed up late talking about some idiotic topic (which would invariably be my idea) like what is death! How does it feel to die! or about how people are when they get into relationships! or just GOSSIP. And in the process of the talking, i'd make sure he doesn't go to bed at his usual time which was around 10-10.30! He sleeps at 5.00am nowadays! Sheesh!

Anyway... when i started typing this post, i thought i was going to stop after the wish... but something changed somewhere...and i just typed on. Maybe it because i'm missing all the fun, and his presence at home...especially during exam time when i'd crib endlessly to him about how i havent studied anything! And the cribbing would change into a discussion session about something else and i'd forget that i hadn't studied! Or the opposite... he'll just walk in and say 'yenna di padikave illai nee, indha sem gone aah pinne?" and i'll get all hyper! And ofcourse all the times i'd get CRAZY at night, and open his eyes when he was sleeping...somehow, he'd never get angry or anything... he'd just smile, and sometimes even wake up to keep me company. Well, sitting at the pc always reminds me of my bro and my cousins... because we've had this 'court sharing' concept with the chair! If we want to do something together on the pc, we'd share the chair! One gets to place half a butt on it! And i'd either sit and read orkut profiles from his account with him, or see the photos of the girls he wants me to see ;-) And keep teasing him with anyone and everyone! Sigh... i could go on and on and on... and there's no use. When we start talking about people, we just can't ever stop...people just walk in and walk out of our lives...but they sometimes make such an impact, leave behind such clear imprints that we end up thinking about them very often... what they would have said, how they would have reacted, what they would have done... and this post, has been long pending. I'm glad i got down to writing it today, unexpectedly.

So thats it... i was actually planning to write about new toothbrushes and how you feel like brushing your teeth often when you get one! And i was also supposed to announce to the world that my braces are coming off in 2 months! :D suddenly, neither seem so significant... the 1st anyway was never ever significant!

So to karthik, big bro... many more happy returns. And wish you well... for life... :)

PS: The name of my football will be announced later. Enjoy the wait ;-)

GOD HELP ME THROUGH THESE EXAMS PLEASE!

Yours "Looking back"ly
Signing off.....

What's in a name? Definitely something!

2006-11-12T10:33:00.000-08:00

My name is divya. It means Divine. :D I don't know from where parents get such apt names! ;-) Ok, i'll stop. I have this thing with naming my belongings... my scooty is called Basanti reloaded (reloaded cuz the old dabba one was called basanti)...and it was named by 2 of my schoomates, nitya and nidhee. Those were the days... *sigh*! We named nitya's spirit ramdayal and nidhee's kinetic dheendhayal! And anu's cycle seetharaman. And at that time, nilesh decided to name his bike fatang mclaren, but changed it to something else after that! Crazy huh? And that too the name basanti was in some weird way is connected to sholay! I think thats what the heroine was called. oh God, let me save you guys the confusion. Dear loyal readers, i need help.

I need a name for my dear football! And where better to get suggestions? :D Anything is welcome.. and if you have a reason to justify your name, better :D I remember in the movie 'cast away' Tom hanks, names his volley(?) ball wilson or something! So English names, south indian names, any type accepted! More than one name is welcome...pl extend your help in this extremely important issue in my life... i have so far christened all my soft toys, none of which i have bought (my fave being ginger!), the pencil pouch i used to use in school (Toni, which had a twin, meaning someone else had the same pouch!)...we once had a naming ceremony for one of the soft toys that was gifted to a friend! And we made a document and signed it! It still exists...he was called Gonguna alias mussi by the way!Anyway. let me not continue. Just give me some names!

I have had one so far... Mr.B, one of my friends suggested. But i didn't like it too much. Besides, it'd be like stealing tsb's name! So any names other than mr.B are welcome! Oh wait... i have had a few more suggestions just now... azzurificated, pirlos, italios,(which is all btw because i supported Italy in the worldcup, and always have!) which i am not shunning! So pl, feel free to add to the list!

PS: The picture shows my football in a very dirty condition after today's rooftop game ;-)

Thankyou for your time.

yours "Whats in a name?"ly
Signing off....

A Few Hours' Musings

2006-11-09T11:23:00.000-08:00

There are some phases in life that can be extremely frustrating. Phases where you question alot of things knowing very well that the answers will remain in hiding for a very long time...but that doesn't really stop you from asking. You're asking yourself after all...so no big consequence to anyone at all. Except that living in doubt can cross the 'mystery in life' quotient sometimes and begin to eat into your head...

Ok please ignore me. I am having study holidays, and any person who has been reading this blog from day 1 would know what my posts are like during this period! They get crazier. Out of the fact that you are given holidays to study, but end up with some futile attempts, and finally arrive at the 'atleast i tried' phrase. The idea of giving one such long study holidays i believe is to make one study out of guilt of having wasted a good many days. You waste, you regret, the tension builds,you study. Not too bad a system eh? You do end up studying after all! Not so easy actually...

I just opened my books again after a 9 hour break ;-) Yes you read that right, 9 hour. Don't ask me for how long i studied before that! Anyway, after a good nine hours (in which i did alot of things from attending paatu class (music class), to watching 'sleepless in seattle') i opened my book again, and that led to alot of thinking that had nothing to do with genetic engineering. I thought about my paatu class... and about how its taken me so many years to appreciate the beauty of carnatic music. I silently thanked my mother for forcing me to attend my classes when i hated them. I've been learning since i was around 9 years old! And then there was some discontinuing in the middle...and then got back...and somehow today, i did something i've never done before. I asked my teacher to sing me a song. The one she started teaching me, one of my mother's favourites (so, i'm learning it for her!)...i wanted her to sing the whole song. And when she did, i almost cried...there are some voices you want the whole world to hear and be proud of, but when you realise it may not happen after all, you feel blessed to have heard it yourself. One such voice belongs to my teacher, a great woman. I'm not saying this out of sheer admiration for her voice, but the no.of things she has had to face in life. And so the Yamuna Kalyani came out as an ocean of melody, with so much feeling, so much life and love for music, such lightness, completeness, perfection, so much devotion that if Lord Krishna was listening, he'd have cried too. God bless her.

Then there's "sleepless in Seattle". A movie whose trailer i just happened to see... and decided to watch the movie after seeing a Tom Hanks - Meg Ryan combo on screen. I can never forget 'you've got mail'. I know some of you must be snorting at the so typically girly choice of movies...but hell, they're feel good, and i like them. "Sleepless..." was one of those movies that just carries you away and makes you believe anything possible, because of the way it seems very natural, with normal people, normal lives. But once the movie's done, you feel like you're snapping out of a dream...there's going to be no magic, no meeting on top of empire state builiding, no tom hanks!! If am lucky enough, maybe the guy of my mom's choice will look smart, wear glasses and be sensible enough ;-) So get on with life and tend to your books! First things first...

But no, instead of studying, i type out this post. With the song my teacher sang ringing into my ears in Bombay Jaishree's voice. With flashes of Meg Ryan's lovely eyes and Tom Hanks' casual manner running through my mind...and the questions flood back. Question your purpose in life, question your reason for existense, question the future, question some things you're sure you do not want answers for because it'll definitely make things worse, question your own life, and the things it stands for today. There may be answers. But you prefer to keep them with yourself... as i've heard "Knowing is the easy part.Saying it out loud, is the hard part" There's another phrase...

There are 2 great days in our lives. One in which we were born, and the other, when we come to know why. - William Barclay

We are born for different reasons. There are days when i think i was born to be the sole admirer of every sunset that the earth gives me...and there are other days when i think i was born to eat! And there are days when i think i was born for some other things... The purpose of this life may be discovered a little late, but will be discovered all the same... and there's always time. Time'll take care of it all... :) Thats the hope we live in. Hope can be the best, and the worst.

And so i pray...when i'm at a loss of words even to pray, there's a song i love...its called praarthnaa. By Euphoria. And Palash sen's voice spells the words out...i don't know how many times this song has brought tears to my eyes. I'm glad i did not count. Thank Heaven's for lyrics! A few lines...

Dil kisika dhukhakar khushi chahoon na
sirf apne liye zindagi chahoon na
haan tujse mein chahoon yahin, kya hai ghalath kya sahi, bhooloon na...
hai yahi praarthna...

Gham ke baadal jo chaaye, ghabraoon na...
aarzoon ke ho saaye, dar jaaoon na..
tujko ho vishwas mujpe, aur isse zyada me tujse chahoon na
hai yahi praarthna...

On that note...

Yours "Musings in madras"ly
Signing off...

A rarity from my pencil

2006-11-06T01:46:00.000-08:00

The 6th of november... :D Sandhya, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! Have a great day! Actually you will... considering you're going to be spending the better part of it with me ;-) he he. Anyway, looking forward to another year of drunken laughter, sidey comments, and utter craziness... n that'll happen even more naturally, now that exams are around the corner! So...have a blast! and stay sane atleast today ;-)

i sketched johnny for sandhya... and i loved it!! :D And hope she did too.... Parting with the sketch was so :(. But i never drew it for keeps, so tata deppy. I trust you have been handed over to someone who is as crazy about you, and will definitely take care of you better ;-)

I really dont know what to post about... this should do for now. Study hols, yet again!!!! *sigh*

Yours "sketching suddenly seems worthwhile"ly
signing off.....

More to 'tying the knot' than you think!

2006-10-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

They say...marriages are made in heaven. True. But lets just rephrase that a little to read,not marriages, just the 'couples' are ,made in heaven. Now i can suddenly visualise our dear God sitting and making 'poruthams' between a girl and a guy, something that josiars do again, just incase ;-). Now that we're settled on just 'couples' are made in heaven, shall we discuss where marriages are made? Marriages...are made in huge, noisy, decorated,over-crowded kalyana mandapams, or marriage halls should we say, where one can easily get lost, or easily get caught in the claws of some good ol' maami who wants to know your age for some devious reason! And point to be noted - the maami will always hold your wrist! Maybe because she knows you're waiting to run away in the first OPPORTUNE MOMENT (now do you know where i got that from!) hmmm, wicked! Oh just ignore me! I have attended 2 marriages, 2 days in a row! One was a family friend's, and i knew i had to go, but the second...believe it or not, was my grand-dad's sister's son's wife's elder sister's daughter's marriage! I am definitely not kidding you! Let me be truthful, i go there for the food! And imagine my plight when both kalyanams had the SAME Goddam menu! SAME STUFF! How unfortunate? I was starting to hope i had paati's rasam sadam for dinner! Only the dessert was different, and well, dessert is never my area, so *sad*! There are some things that i just HAVE to point out about these weddings... aah, am loving this! A typical tamil, brahmin marriage (reception) will have the following features, without fail :

1.A loooong queue waiting to congratulate the bride and groom. SO long that you would prefer the queue at sathyam cinemas because there, atleast you get to watch a movie after the queue! Here, you'll go and say congratulations, and neither the bride nor the groom will recognise you, but they'll be all super sweet and say thanks so much for making it, and then we, the extremely glad people, will have a teeth show for the flashes!Point to be noted - the mamas and maamis standing infront of you in the queue will invariably HUG their gifts like someone's waiting to grab it and present it as their gift! And i always feel like saying "Maami, pattu podavai kasangida pordhu, paathu!"(your silk saree is going to get ruffled up!)

2.Music. Or thats what its called most of the time. It generally means having this famous, or not-so-famous carnatic vocalist singing her/his throat off, when she/he is nothing but IGNORED. All you have is a few thathas or mamas sitting in the first row and pretending to listen, but promptly clapping after every song gets over. WHY do they have to put themselves through this? OR you have something called a LIGHT music 'orchestra' that makes such heavy music that the vibration seems to penetrate right to your stomach and make you feel like you could do with a puke! Their base gets inside you! Its just too loud for the hall...oh damn. It doesn't matter if you are sitting 100 miles from the speaker, it just reverberates! And it feels like you're walking into a one way street called deafness!

3.FOOD. THE issue! People like my thatha always aim for the 1st 'pandhi' and wont leave without drinking 2 payasams! And he's very proud of it :D But well, the trend seems to be changing. Receptions no longer have "yellai sapadu" (on banana leaves) , with the traditional rice with one karandi of ghee, and the payasam and vadai. Thats just for lunch! Receptions have what they call BUFFET (read:painful system where you don't know whether to concentrate on putting the food into your mouth without embarassing yourself, or holding the plate without pouring its contents onto the pattu saree of the aunty almost sticking to you in the crowd!"!) With north indian cuisine, chaat, bandha dessert. Yesterday for instance, the dessert was grand. There was ras malai, srikhand, carrot halwa, and vanilla icecream with chocolate sauce optional! What the hell is one expected to eat! I settled for the first and the last :D And you'll definitely have the famous line - "Shaaptela mama?"!caution - if there's ever a paneer sabzi on the menu, please be satisfied with eating the gravy, because the paneer cubes, tempting though they may look, are either never cooked, or too hard to bite and so unfair on my braced teeth! Am i a foodie or what! sapaduraami!

I could go on forever...with the pattu podavais and jewellery and the 'Oh nee avarodu ponna, ivaroda pethiyaa's and the 'divya vaa idhu? ipdi valandhutaale!"s and meeting up with some distant people you've never heard of, and mind you, it will never ever be some smart looking chap that you can have a time pass conversation with! The latest trends in weddings - youngsters who are forced to attend - Laugh at the cellphone, message till their fingers fall out, seem BUSY! Maybe i shouldn't be talking about that? I was doing exactly that! No other choice you see! and trend 2 is with the brides... don't know what happened to doing some cool hairstyles...Its just hair let lose, falling down. And its almost always artificially straightened. Come on brides! Do something different ;-) And... my paati's sly questions when one is getting dressed for the ocassion are not to be missed...what fuss she makes on jewellery! The more the fuss, the more i feel like not wearing the stuff...lol. Her line - "oru kalyanathuku pona, naalu per varuva ma, idhalaam potukanom!" My line -"Paati, yenaka kalyanam?" She - "Solardhu kelu ma!" So much for being a girl!!

Now this doesn't mean that when you invite me for your wedding, i will whine like this before coming. NO. Attending weddings of people you know personally is a very nice experience...it makes me happy. It makes me so happy, i can never explain. When one of my relatives got married, i almost cried when the thaali was being tied...its such a moment u know...:) and suddenly, i understood why mothers and fathers cry after that moment. Its such a bittersweet moment. Its lovely.

So i'd like to end by saying, am looking forward to having a good time at your wedding ;-)and i'll definitely do a post on it! :D

PS: for those of you who had a prob with the tamil lines, pl ask! Just din have the patience to translate, am sorry... :) (i think thats only for nik!)

Yours "why don't one of you just get married?"ly
Signing off...

WEird as WEird can get...(updated)

2006-10-20T10:44:00.000-07:00

UPDATE oct 23rd, 2006 - Happy Birthday dear bloggg!!!! :D Or is it happy anniversary? ;-) Whichever it is, its been one year since i started putting down episodes from my mind, opinions on various issues, crazy rants, various feelings etc into this blog...and its been a wonderful experience. A big thankyou goes out to all those people who read this blog, and leave their comments, and make me feel like continuing this activity...make it worthwhile. Thankyou so much, love you all and God bless!! I hope you have as much fun reading my posts, as i have writing them. Looking forward to continuing this for a very very long time :D

I have been tagged by shruti to write 6 weird things about myself. Considering i am such a crazy person, this should not have been so difficult for me...but only when I started thinking did i realise how difficult it is! So...here's what i think is weird about myself.

1. I talk to inanimate objects :D And my football tops the list! I can think of so many coversations i have had with my football after kicking it left and right! Once i even said "Am sorry i impart so much pain unto you...but i love you so much!" I know i must be out of my wits to be publicizing this...but hell! I remember that convo very well! Other things i talk to regularly include one of my soft toys, stars, well, i better not go further into this! For the love of my own image!

2. Since we're on the topic... I fabricate conversations out of thin air! Between myself, and anyone! And those conversations can get pretty long, and interesting too! :) And trust me, they're carried out with so much emotion and action... its a monoact! yes,I am crazy!

3.I know i'm a girl...;-) ok, sad way to start. But yes, when i change my earrings, its quite an 'issue' in class! "Divya, yenna visesham? Earrings change pannite?" yes, i don't ever bother...with earrings, or any other accessories! I change my earrings maybe twice a year, not more! And i've been told by so many people that i should style my hair or do something worthwhile with it... but...No, it remains. Unleveled, straight with curly ends. Don't know if it'll ever happen! Guess am not too much of a girl eh? ;-)

4.When i fall in love with a song, i go to the extent of literally 'mugging up' the lyrics from wherever, and listening to the song non stop! No other song for days...and sing the song also non stop! I know i've mentioned this before...yes, my bench mate in class definitely has a tough time!

5.I like taking photographs of shadows. Some of you have seen them ;-) I find it immensely interesting...sort of like the blackness of a shadow has some character that a normal picture doesn't have. And thats why, however late i am for college early in the morning, i just don't realise it when i am looking at my own shadow on the wall, cast by the rising sun...its a black and yellow combination that just drives me towards the camera...and just makes my morning!

6. Aah...the last! Hmmm... I don't need alcohol to get drunk! I keep saying i can get high on air! My mom used to think that something happens to me after 11.30pm...she'll tell my cousin or my bro "paithiyam pudichurthu da!" (she's gone mad) and i do the craziest things when am in that 'phase'...chuck pillows at my mom, just keep laughing for everything, opening my bro's eyes with my index finger and thumb when he's just drifting into slumber land and probably even get slapped for that!, keep talking continuosly and not allowing my cousin to sleep...and the likes :)

So there goes...weirdo divya for you!

And... The noise here is tearing my ear drums! But, its the festive season, its the biggest festival of the year...its smiles, and happiness,and ghee sweets, and new clothes, and drowsy head-baths at 5 in the morning (or slightly later, considering me!)...HAPPY DIWALI!!

Comments secn - Tell me what you think is weird abt me, please!

Yours "does anyone get crazier?"ly
Signing off....

Perspective

2006-10-15T03:11:00.000-07:00

I tried playing football in the moonlight. Only to realise the moon's more visible to kick, than the football :) ok, bad one...ofcourse, considering i'm quite human, my eyes required some assistance to see this round white mass that was rolling around the place, playing hide and seek with my feet...or is it catch and catch? ok, whichever. And so, the legs that are mine carried the rest of me, unwillingly, to the switchboard, where my fingers pressed some white switches, and my football ground got its flood lights:D My feet were plugged into sneakers, without socks :) yuck? Thats the truth.

The football's time had come. It was going to get punished for running away and hiding in the dark. It dreaded this moment, and was crouching under the grey,cement bench, hugging the
dirtiest corner that had an empty packet of diwali fire crackers. It was not to be. The sneakered-feet (yay anu!) stealthily got closer and closer to it...and slowly rolled it into the limelight! ;-) It was gently moved forward and placed at THE spot. Aww, why did it have to be the same spot? The football knew what was coming next, but as always, wondered how long it'd be before the wall would come crashing into its small round structure.ONE...TWO...THREE...and baaaasssshhhh!!!! *sigh* And so the football said, 'no matter, i'll allow the wall to bash me, but i'll go back like the boomerang and strike those barbaric feet, suddenly sneakered!'

Her time had come. The lights were switched on, and playing the game gave her some sort of
solace she couldn't derive from other things, other people. Her focus was on the ball, and only the ball, her mind veiled from everything else the world wanted to show her, from anyone who tried a chance to haunt her thoughts. She gazed at the few stars, and waited for the hint of a breeze, but when none came, she started to search...for her article of solace. It had rolled over to the small gap under the cement bench, which had become the ultimate dumping ground for any box, fire cracker or food, that the neighbour next door had done a great deal of contribution to. She allowed her feet to roll out the dirty, white football and lead it to her shooting point. This was the moment she loved, gathering all her energy and concentrating it on her right foot. She took the shot, with the passion of a footballer, and waited for the ball to promptly come back with as much force as it could muster.

The football was in rage.The shot landed on it harder than last time! It struck the white wall with so much force that it went slightly off target. It missed the feet, got the head. It was ok, it would strike the enemy and teach her a lesson! But to its shock, the enemy reacted so quickly, it hardly had time to chose the spot...and this time, it went flying onto the glass pieces at the end of the ground. OUCH! The next time the feet touched its cover, there was a difference...and Lo! it realised, old times are back!

She thought it was coming right back to her forehead. Perfect for a header...and she was moving, her eyes moving from up to down, tracing the trajectory of the ball. But something pricked her foot and she turned her head...and the ball hit the left side of her head and flew off in the wrong direction! It was her shoe...decided to give her a bite. She thought of how she put them on a while back without socks, and contemplated the possibilities of a bite, but didn't bother. She unlaced them, got them off her feet and tossed them away. It was all back to normal...playing barefoot! She thought of her mom warning her about her feet getting hard and black, and the need to apply some KRACK cream soon ;-) But now, football was the thing...no fun if the feet didn't get black...she found this unsurpassable bliss in washing the blackness away with cold water, laughing at her pink, puffed up face after playing, tasting salty footballer sweat trickling down from the forehead, and allowing the breeze to chill her sweaty body...she looked around and found the ball over the glass piece corner that she avoided...she carefully rolled it out and continued the game she would play for a long time to come...never alone, in the football's company.

Synopsis - I played football yetserday night with my shoes on(first time). I didn't wear socks. My shoe bit me. I tossed the shoes away and got back to playing barefoot. My mom keeps tellign me not to do that if I don't want my soles to become victims of KRACK cream. Like always, i continued playing. I came home and washed my BLACK soles, laughed at my face,
became clean. Had a great time. :D :D So, nothing much huh? Indha chinna matter ku poi ivalov periya post thevaiya? ;-)

Yours "Some perspective in life"ly,
Signing off...

Universal language indeed...

2006-10-06T07:38:00.000-07:00

UPDATE 8.10.06 - Happy birthday, Reks!!!!!!!!!! Hope u liked the gift :) we had alot of fun making it... and we all felt like keeping it for ourselves! Have a great day! And a wonderful year to come... well, considering u sit next to me in class, u'll definitely have a wonderful year to come! ;-)

Sometimes we rediscover songs. I read somwhere that the mark of a good book is that it changes evertime you read it. I believe in that line. Not only for books, but some movies too. Maybe it applies to songs too? You suddenly realise the beauty of a word or a note or the way a certain part has been sung or the instruments...something. And when that happens to me, rekha, who sits next to me in class, has to put up with me singing the song all day long, atleast for 3 days. Sorry reks! But recently, i have started to rediscover the voice of someone whose been around for long...i've heard him so many times, but something changed somwhere, and some of his songs became an addiction a while back. Srinivas. Blessed with a voice that has moved me to tears. His songs that i happened to 'rediscover'include

Chotta Chotta nanaiyidu Tajmahal (movie Tajmahal, A.R.Rahman) - if you havent heard it, pl do. And if u've always thought the song sucked because of the 2 people in the video, then you are mistaken for sure! Its lovely...
Kayil midhakum kanava nee (movie ratchagan, A.R.Rahman) - Again, doesn't have a great video, but the song suits the context beautifully. I kept singing this song in college so
much that my deskmate really really felt like slapping me.:) i finally stopped!
Anbe sugama (Movie paarthale paravasam, A.R.Rahman) - Unlike the other 2, i like this
one's video. The lyrics..."Vazhkai oru vattam pol, mudindha idathil thudangaatha..."

Its funny how none of those movies did too well...but its Rahman we're talking about here! Genius. Seriously....and the lyrics rock...but the voice is srinivas's...its the 'feel' he imparts...God bless. He's "nila kaigirathu" on tv moved me to tears...cha.

And i have recently taken to getting mesmerised by the magic in Naresh Iyer's voice! Bloody
hell...these singers! I used to tell sandhya that i want to marry palash sen's voice (he's the lead singer of the band euphoria)...now, there's one more to the list. I want to marry Naresh iyer's voice! God bless him too!*sigh*. His 'munbe vaa' from the recent flick "sillunu oru kadhal"(which btw was so bad, i can't find any reason surya n jo agreed to do that movie except that it'd give them a reason to be with each other!) and all his rang de basanti songs...Tu bin bataye, robaroo...awesome voice. And...there are times when i get into this spree of listening to dabankoothu type songs...with fast beats...and the new song that goes into that list, is 'kummi adi' from sillunu oru kadhal,in naresh iyer's voice! Very jumpy number... :D Not exactly dabankoothu, but jumpy!

Well...just a small list of songs that make me feel the same thing whenever i listen to
them, no matter what the mood is...

Always makes me happy - Vizhiganil ariginil vaanam (azhagiya theeye),Drops of jupiter(train)
Always calms me down - Vellai pookal (Kannathil muthamitaal)
Makes me smile - Le chale (My brother nikhil),Nenjodu Kalainthidu (Kadhal Kondein)
Makes me feel floaty - aqueous transmission (Incubus), I'm ready (bryan adams)
Makes me marvel at the feeling people call 'love' - Tu bin bataye (RDB), Ab na ja(euphoria)
Makes me nostalgic - Yaaron (KK), My sacrifice (creed)]
Gives me hope - Bridge over troubled waters (Simon and Garfunkel)
Makes me feel all dark - November rain (Guns and roses)
Makes me want to fall in love ;-) - I'll always be right there (Bryan adams)
Makes me one with nature - Nila Kaigirathu (indra)
Makes me jumpy - I'll be there for you (Rembrandts), Dus bahane (Dus), maahive(faakhir)
Makes me cry - Thenpandi cheemayile (Nayagan)and any other song that suits my state of mind!

Ofcourse i can never do justice to the songs i love... they cannot be all mentioned. But this post goes out to all those singers, who make it possible for us to love what we hear, and make music such an important part in our daily lives...SPB, Hariharan, Srinivas, chitra...actually, the list is endless, no use trying a mention. :)

"The most beautiful things in life cannot be said. Thats why you have music"

Yours "Music can do things to you. Things that no one can!"ly
Signing off...

Navarathri, and the things it stands for

2006-09-28T02:54:00.000-07:00

Every evening is as colourful as that rainbow that hardly appears these days...sparkling with jewellery, mild or gaudy, light or heavy...bright with the shades wrapped around each one, kancheepurams, pink and blue, with and without zari... loud with comments coming out of each one's mouth, remarks on one's way of dressing, or just next door gossip...lively, with the dolls and the lights, and i daresay...the songs :D Navratri in chennai - You see it all, hear it all, and experience the chennai-ness!

Its not like i have a problem with any of the factors mentioned above, i just marvel at them, and amuse myself. As per tradition, atleast one new bommai (doll) should be bought every year for kolu... If you've lived in chennai, you must know the Mylapore tank...of kabhaleeshwar kovil fame,And something more... a place where you can't walk without getting pushed around by maamis during this time of the year. And even if you do manage to walk without getting pushed, there are always the sacred cows which will conviniently walk right infront of you, such that you see nothing but the tail, and traces of whatever's come out from below even if you wish to see something else, or there'll be the cars and the auto-rikshwas that try to make way for themselves in that already crowded street when they could have conviniently zoomed off on the main road. Sigh...Kolu bommai shopping can be tedious indeed. You get to learn how to bargain from maamis who'll ridiculously by a 400 rs doll for 50rs,leaving the shop keeper stunned as to how he allowed such a sale...and its also a good training session on weight lifting! The dolls dont get heavier,i hope!

And then you come back home, and have a big argument with your mother or grandmother, or anyone else who wants to argue with you, about where which doll should be placed, on which step, at which position, and next to which other doll! And when all that is set, you try fixing the flashing lights, which refuse to work because your grandfather bought them 4 years back and refused to use them! So u manage with some other lights, and everything is set. Then your mother starts calling up each maami/aunty and saying "yenga Aathle kolu vechurkom, vandrungo. Ponnaiyum kutindu vaango maami...aam naanum varen, divya um varuvaa'...Did she have to say that last line? There, stuck!

Aah, then the rounds...It starts with the teeth show and the exchange of greetings. And you're taken inside the house to where the kolu stands, all colourful and beautiful. There's not a single kolu that has failed to impress me...and some are so cool, so huge, and have such nice themes. Yeah, so once you reach 'the spot' you're asked to sit. And mind you, you wont be alone...there'll already be some maamis who reached earlier than you, whose eyes will notoriously follow each movement of yours, pentrating stares! And then the doomed moment arrives... 'yaraadu paatu padungole...'(somoene, sing!) aaah, now's the time i usually start coughing, and sounding like i have the worst cold that's ever hit me...blow my nose, make it sound like a trumpet, try making it look like my throat is so sore that i'm not even able to talk...sometimes, it works. Sometimes, it just doesn't! Everybody's pretty convinced that one should sing just for one's satisfaction of having sang infront of someone's kolu, and impart the same satisfaction unto the host, who will also rejoice on her kolu being honoured! So the cold, really doesn't matter after all! And just as i give up...and say, ok i'll sing, they place a plate of yummy vadais infront of me...which i can savour only if i sing. I'm a great lover of food...so, i allow them the honour of listening to my voice, so that next time, they wont dare to ask me to sing the lord's praises! But there's something worse that happens... when you start singing, some maami or the other definitely knows the song, and hums along, or in the worst case, sings along! And this is a very stressful moment for it makes one forget the lines in the song...and one has to take extra effort to block out any other voice but one's own (which i assure you, is very very difficult!)...huffffff, when its finally over, everyone takes great pleasure in passing comments on how one has to practice more often, or how beautiful the lyrics are, how one's grand daughter also learns music and sings that particular song so very well, or in very
very rare cases, how well one sang! *sigh*

But its fun. Navratri rocks...the festive mood lifts your spirits, you get to meet alot of people, some who you meet only year after year during navaratri! Even though i might have sounded like i just whined, or made fun of things that go on around here, i enjoy this period, and will definitely miss it if i leave this place...Namma chennai ma!!!!!

So i continue...singing my 'Koovi azhaithaal kural kodupan's and 'Kurai ondrum illai's and 'yena thavam seidhanai's in the hope that these words will be heard and taken heed of!

2 thumbs up to navratri!

Yours "Do come home for Kolu if u're not too busy"ly
Signing off....

An Appeal...

2006-09-26T10:23:00.000-07:00

Dear God, please tell them that professing power unto people who automatically fall below them is so useless, it can be done by anyone...
Tell them they should strive for better rather than take great interest in things that dont matter one bit...
Show them the difference between imposing discipline and being barbaric...
Make them realise that they can earn respect, and respect will never come when it is forced.
Teach them how to treat humans as humans...
Tell them that if something goes wrong somewhere, it is definitely not their fault, and they
are not expected to solve it painstakingly, because you are there for that...
Show them what is right and wrong according to the world...and i plead, teach them how to
discriminate between the two.
Tell them that nothing's a big deal till you make it one, and a problem will be one only
when you think of it as one...
Tell them where riches lie...
Show them the beauty in simplicity...its something i don't think they've ever known.
Make them understand that people are not happy with being supressed in the name of something else...and definitely don't appreciate being called things they're not, or taking the blame for things they didn't do,ever.
Lastly God...tell me whether there are limits to endurance, teach me how to hold my words
back, Tell me if words can be read through the eyes, because they're just not being heard
when they come out of the mouth, or they're just heard all wrong, Help me identify the people
i can trust,Tell me why i should gamble my future for the comfort of saying what i thought was right...Tell me why i should gamble my future for mistakes i did not commit, Tell me why i feel insulted, exploited and wasted when i shouldn't be feeling it, Tell me if what i do is right, i do it because someone is earning a living somewhere for me to live today and tomorrow and forever.AND TELL ME WHY.TELL ME WHY THIS IS HAPPENING AND HOW IT GOT
THIS FAR...We leave it to you now. You're our only hope... only hope.

PS: do continue the comments on the prev post. I just found it necessary to post this...

Yours " limits to endurance" ly
Signing off....

Blabberations - 2

2006-09-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

Something i did not know- Orlando Bloom has technophobia. He cant keep track of new technology! He does not own a computer, has no email id, and has never visited his space! But he's getting a computer soon...

I love rain. But i hate getting drenched. I hate the 'serru' (slushy mud...whatever!) on the roads after the rains. I hate walking through pools of water (esp in college...we get delayed for lunch!). I hate it when my helmet, hanging from my bike has a mini 'koovam' with mosquitoes flying over it. The only thing i like about rain is watching it and smelling the soil, and feeling the droplets falling on my fingers and maybe the sound. Does that mean i hate rain more than i love it?

Lifts/elevators are wierd. I live on the 3rd floor...sometimes it feels like its taking me ages to reach up there, but sometimes the lift stops even before i realise where i am. Why? Maybe it takes ages when i'm hungry, and takes hardly a second when i'm not thinking about reaching home...lol.

Is 30 seconds a long time? I thought not...but i realised how long 30 seconds could be when we were doing an experiment in the lab where we had to note down the readings from a spectrophotometer every 30 seconds. Phew! Sure is a long wait...Dont know how many times i
said "Innum 30 seconds mudiyalaya?"

Have you ever tried saying your name aloud when you are alone? Am telling you, it can be one of the craziest things that one can do! I've done it...and found it so wierd to pronounce my name the way it is, and found it wierd that i respond to such a pronounciation! i remember saying
'div-ya, divya, di-v-yaaa' lol! Same thing happens when you look at your face in the mirror for a while longer than required...you wonder, oh my God is this my nose? Are these my eyes? Is this how i look! How come i've looked the same from the day i was born! Does anyone get crazier?

I find this mad pleasure in spreading a blanket over someone who is asleep! My mother, my cousins, my brother! And also in removing my mom's glasses resting on her nose, and the the book from her hand when she falls asleep reading...

Sometimes, there's this thing about you that you are aware of, but refuse to accept. But
everything has a place and time...and when acceptance comes, when you have grown enough to
acknowledge that 'thing' about yourself, its painful. It kills you from the inside. Its like a punishment. But once you've come to terms with yourself, its a great feeling. Its like...the completeness that arises out of paying repentance for a misdoing. Its the feeling of completeness that dawns upon you when you know you've got what you deserved, be it bad or good. Hell, it takes so long to know oneself completely, and accept oneself for what one is...just makes me wonder how those 2 things are done to others! It can only happen when a person is placed on a higher regard than oneself...dont you think? Or maybe most of the time, we end up accepting, irrespective of whether we know or not. After all, ignorance is bliss ain't it?

UPDATE - dear readers! pl do me a favour...In one of my posts, i'd talked abt a singer... check this ...Check the 2nd last comment, and please tell me if one of u left that comment! Or if the singer himself visited my blog...aaaaaah am going mad!!!! Just came across it now...after MONTHS! damn...

Yours "blab mouth strikes again" ly
Signing off...

Yours Superstitiously...

2006-09-12T10:45:00.000-07:00

I know this is not the first time my hands itch to type about this topic of immense interest to me, simply because it never fails to make me laugh :) Beliefs, supersitions, and how staunchly they are followed by my grandmother's generation, and are a source of amusement, eentertainment to the generation i belong to.The last time (in thumb-letter-trap) i talked about just one...this time, we'll have more. And funnier ones i dare say! I remember laughing from the deep end of my heart when i was discussing these beliefs with one of my friends...and i promised myself such things don't go unacknowldged!

Apart from the ones that we are all pretty much familiar with, for instance, when you sneeze/hiccough/choke - someone's thinking of you (this one, is a source of great entertainment at dinner at home...or atleast once was, when we were 4 cousins around the table.One just had to choke, and the others would roll their eyes and go 'yaar ninaikaraalo...hmm' - i wonder who's thinking of her/him - in the most mocking fashion...and i would invariably smile and say 'appa' ;-) and that, would be followed by a series of protests and 'seri porum, yengulku theriyum!'s!! sigh...good times!) there are others that have recently caught my attention!

Apparently, one is not supposed to enjoy the priviledge of sitting at a table long after eating without washing one's hands, because the drier your hands with food particles on them, the later you'll get married! :D My take on that - I'd rather wash them because its painful to scratch out dried out sambar and paruppu from your hands!

Similar to the first one - One's plate is not to be left to dry after one has finished eating because...its bad for the mother-in-law, or the mother-in-law to be! My take on that - Aah, we actually have a secret way of affecting them? *wicked*!

Cutting nails...not allowed on tuesdays and fridays, not allowed after sunset. And when cut, must be disposed of very carefully in the bin outside the gate of your home :D lol... i even remember this story my servant maid told me about how someone's nail fell inside the hut and grew so big like an elephant's tusk, and now, that place where the nail transformed has become a shrine that people visit! Any comments?

Sitting on a pillow is very comfortable...and i mean the actual pillows we put our heads on and sleep...But, but, one should avoid doing so if one does not want to part with one's money!! If you sit on a pillow, you lose your money! In my thatha's words... "Aishwaryam poidum" literally meaning, your wealth will go! LOL... i still vividly remember my brother saying "Get off the pillow...Aishwarya Poiduva!" My take on that - Ready to experiment! ;-)This sitting on pillow business apparently leads to something else too...Sit on a pillow, and you fight with a family member!! My take on that - Now i know why i fought with my brother on that bright sunday morning as the rays filtered through the curtains...blah! Aah, you can always blame a fight on a pillow :)

Have you ever eaten something directly from the stove when its cooking? I mean...from the vessel on the stove obviously...a million times! Sometimes it evens seems tastier then than ever! But...do that, and the heavens will cry, tears of joy for you on the day of your wedding! It'll rain...lol! My take - Am already getting prepared to arrange boats for whoever wants to get to the place where i'll be married...the city's going to be flooded!!

There are other sweet ones that i have no heart to ridicule...like when a kid smiles when he/she is asleep, it means God's showing him/her a lotus... :) and when there's suddenly a moment of unexpected silence, it means an angel is passing through...:) hmm, so all those uneasy silences with a 100 million people were because some angel came in between and cut out transmission? ;-) lol...but, its a sweet one.

Now to my favourites...

I heard this one from a friend, and i laughed so hard...if you hold an umbrella over your head where there's already a roof, you get an old husband!! Isn't that so ridiculous? Lol...first, who'd ever do that? And my take - If that be the case, am sure am getting one 'young enough'!

And this one... i love this one because i'm quite convinced its affected me directly! If one is hit with a broom, or if one happens to be 'crossed over' by someone just once at a time, and not twice...one doesn't grow tall :( :( !!! I remember so many instances where people purposely crossed over me and walked passed without getting back the same way just because i kept screaming its going to make me short! And ofcourse i remember having a broom fight with my bro...*sigh*! :D

Thats it!!! Feeling...superstitious? ;-) Feel free to add on to the list!

I'd like to add...Am a fan of Surya's :)...and i like Jyothika too....and they got married yesterday...And they looked so cute togther, God bless them!

Yours "superstitiously"
Signing offf...

Li'l angel...

2006-09-03T05:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen an angel? Or atleast, felt like u have...? Well... i have. But this one, didn't have wings...this one, wasnt dressed in white...But angel she was, so pure and sweet...imparting a feeling of a happiness so complete, so ethereal. And there i was... drowned in the echo of her voice...in the way she pronounced those two words and smiled at me to respond...smiling, showing the few teeth that she had... the words... "divya chitti"!!
The words still ring in my ears...:D Such a divine feeling...

My niece. Srinidhi. The thing about kids is that they're not only full of life, but also make you feel full of life when you are with them! Every minute of it...She's given me a reason to believe i had one of my best evenings...pampering, playing, dancing with her... forgetting anything else that may have been running through the front or back of my mind. And taking up enough space in the same mind, for days after she said tata and left this country. She made me laugh...and marvel at the intelligence such a small thing like her can have! So smart!You know, we always have a deep regard for people who make us forget what we're going through by making us laugh...atleast i do.:D

Kids...*sigh*

Yours "God bless her"ly,

Signing off...

PS: I hate my college and very sincerely wish those people rot in hell someday... they will.
Don't ask me what they did, you wouldn't believe it. :( ;( Chi...

"Veiled", Unveiled...

2006-08-22T11:47:00.000-07:00

This is a special post, because it contains a special piece :) i wrote something on paper after a very long time... And i just thought i'd put it up as my blog is anyway suffering from lack of proper posts...

Before that... My cousins, who were in town for the past 2 months are leaving in a few hours... getting back to their routines...getting pulled back by duty. Its been such a lovely phase in my life...so much... i don't know... just felt so complete! Not a single idle moment...nothing really worrying... just something new to do everyday, and so much fun...so much colour... so much laughing and horsing around and doing alot of nothings but being so glad about it! Its this wierd 'sisterly' feeling! That i haven't really experienced before...i know it sounds so cheesy.. but hell, what are blogs for! So... Sanjana, and sandhya... Farewell! And just to suit the mood thats been floating at home for the past week cuz of the Kabhi alvida na kehna songs.... ALVIDA! Love you guys...And waiting for next year july! :D

This post... maybe just a series of questions to some of you, may mean more to others... may be loads of 'can you?'s to a few, and 'will you?'s to others...read it the way you want it.

I don't believe in the existence or non-existence of ability,
But in the willingness to do, or not to do something.
--an admirable killer line from... a friend.

VEILED

Can you take a moment, complete with ethereal happiness, and make it a lifetime's solace?
Can you accustom yourself to echoes and shadows, and places overflowing with emptiness and accept them for company, comfort?
Can you dwell in pretences, and trust in illusions, and be satisfied with lies that make you laugh?
Can you let the ship of life by stirred by the gales of time, and move effortlessly in that direction?
Can you live through a plethora of failures, and live to face the next improbability of success, still to name it 'experience'?
Can you grace undying punishment in your heart to fulfil sweet vengeance?
Can you stare at atrocity in the eye, and walk past unmoved, for the love of your own soul?
Can you smile through helplessness, and stand like a fortress, when the world within you crumbles?
Can you preach to others, what you don't believe in, just to see a hint of a smile?
Can you fill the unforgiving minute with a lifetime's worth memory, and hold it in your fist till the end of this odyssey?
Can you relinquish your pride in the face of simplicity, and lose it forever, in tender benevolence?
Can you kill the expectation in you, and distance it from your blessed being, so that you hardly ever experience insatiability, disappointment, pain...?
Can you mutter a world of hope in a silent prayer, and patiently await fate's judgement, the call of God?
Can you bear to see your dream shattered...but pick up its pieces and build a bigger one with resigned involvment?
Can you refuse to accept the death of a bond, and live on in belief of its revival one fine day?
Can you give, unconditionally...with no returns, no regrets, no complaints...only overwhelming joy, only eternal love?
Will you allow the breeze to carry your burden away...
Will you smile at the rainbow after the storm...
Will you appreciate blue skies when in pain...
Will you find melody where there is no music
Music where there's no harmony,
Harmonywhere there's no rhythm,
Rhythm where there's no symphony,
Symphony where there's no ode,
Ode where there's no joy,
Joy where there's no hope,
Hope where there's no pain,
Pain where there's no reason,
Reason where there's no heart,
Heart where there's no... Life?

Yours "unveiling some questions that have veiled answers"ly
Signing off...

Philo mood

2006-08-13T03:41:00.002-07:00

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart,

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

--- e e Cummings

I just like those lines...actually, i like the way they're written, or the way they sound when they're spoken. Very different. Unique maybe. But very simple, and very understandable unlike many other pieces...I First heard them in the movie "In her shoes".... Its actually a poem... and what you just read above is not the whole poem... its just the part i like :D Well... i guess i just wanted to put it up... loved esp the line that says - " which grows higher than the soul can hope, or the mind can hide"... Nice comparisons. The mind is like this bottomless pit where you can hide anything and everything...even if one knows where to look for something, they wont find it there, till the holder of the key opens it for them...and reveals... And the soul hopes as much as it can...hopes for hope. Hopes even when there's no hope. Hopes against hope.

Well... i guess you just get philosophical me on this post :D Kind of a contrast from my crazy jack sparrow post... yikes, CAPTAIN jack sparrow i mean!

Yours "philo div can be boring, but its just a part of her"ly
Signing off...

CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, Savvy? ;-)

2006-08-05T11:26:00.000-07:00

Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead man's chest.What on earth were the reviews complaining about? This movie, is one hell of a roller coaster ride, and i loved every bit of it, and screamed at the end...screamed because of the element of suspense, and that craving to watch the next movie that very moment and have every vein in my body overflow with the drunken pirate-ness! What a sequel, what a perfect bridge, what action, what special effects, what humour... what a flick! One of those made solely for the purpose of entertainment :)

Maybe i liked the movie because i was determined to like it from the very beginning... but really, i cant agree with any review that called it sub-standard. A woman on tv said it was a 2.5 hour promo to the 3rd movie, and that it was a drag with no proper story and didn't have enough of Johnny depp (My take on that, is that you just cant ever have enough of depp!). The guy who was on the show with her gave her one straight look and said "did you really understand the movie? cuz i loved it!" Yaay! I go with the guy! I dont think i need to talk abt the perfomances...they were just wow... and the music as usual! But i think some scenes have been shot beautifully in this movie! Better than the first one... Well, if you're looking for a movie that'll make you scream, whistle, jump in your seat and laugh like hell, this is definitely the one! 3 cheers to Gore Verbinski! Mr.director.... and obv to Mr.Depp!!! ;-)

I hate it when movies end with such climaxes that do nothing but pave way to the next movie, and make the audience wait forever! Argh.... but we will obv wait! And the wait shall definitely be worth it! So as Sudhish Kamath said in "The Hindu" - Gore,Bring Jack back, soon! We want Pirates of the Caribbean - At world's end! And SOON!

Johnny is such a good actor...damn! I've never ever been crazy abt an actor... he's the only one! Bless him! Depp, we're waiting for shantaram too :D

UPDATE 7/8/06 - Happy birthday Nikhil!!!! Mr.Leo... Hope u have a great day! And hope u give us one of those treats again ;-) Pizza hut, is never to be forgotten man! Maybe we should tell all your classmates who got just orange juice for a treat what a gracious host you played, once upon a time ;-) LOL! Have a blast!

Yours "Dont miss this for anything, i love Depp"ly
Signing offfff.....

"Now" is the word...

2006-08-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

What happens when your home is like a venue for a fun party everyday, and you're having one hell of a time? Well, you dont have time to update. :D But, thats not a bad thing. Because such times don't occur too often in one's life! Well, to give everyone a clearer picture.... A whole lot of relatives have come down to stay at our humble abode from different parts of the world, and its one big carnival! There's something to do everyday, something different. And....it keeps you totally occupied! Which i believe is a very very good thing....:D But when you think of the unfortunate fact that such moments are shortlived, and that in a few days, the walls of the house will echo with their voices, and the floors will depict shadows without the people who are the source...and they'll stand infront of you in each part of the house, saying something they've already said, or doing something that made you laugh like you're mad....and that feels disheartening. And i don't want myself in a disheartened state when the fun's still on, so i refuse to think of it! Which brings me back to one line that i read a few years back, and have loved ever since.... "cross the bridge when you get to it".

So, i dedicate this post to everyone at home right now.... Amma, thatha, paati, chitti, chitappa, Karthik, Mama, aunty, sanjana and sandhya...and visu who'll be here shortly! Thanks for making the past month so coulourful! Looking forward to the remaning few days...
And to Kar, whoz leaving for the U.S on friday, Good luck in ALL your future 'experiments' ;-) You're definitely going to be missed.

Well... this post is turning out to be something i rather didn't expect... But thats not anything new! Now to some lighter things.... am going to watch pirates on saturday!!!!!!!! YAAAAY!!!!!!!! cant wait.... :D :D And there's this other line i remembered recently... it sort of came to me at a particular situation, and i was quite amused at myself...
"If fate doesn't make you laugh, you just don't get the joke!" --Shantaram

One last thing.... Happy Birthday to Padmaja!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D (2nd aug)

Yours "Make the best of the moment"ly
Signing off......

My Black Friday...

2006-07-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

It made me feel so bad when blogging was banned in this country.... made me feel like i'd lost some integral part of me. But well, it all came back... and somehow, i still didn't feel like updating. Partly because the previous post is so close to my heart...and partly because our blogging network is suffering from a lack of activity. Where is everyone! Anyway... am so glad i still have this blog!

There's nothing much thats been happening... nothing worth a mention. So i'll get down to writing about friday, 21st of july, when i thought the whole wide world was conspiring against my happiness... and for 3 good reasons. First, my blog, ad any other blog just refused to open! And then i found out abt the whole ban... and hell, i was upset... I whined and complained...and that passed. And then sukanya told me that Cannavaro (italy football captain who slept holding the world cup the night they won it!) was bought by the money pit called Real madrid! The club i loathe... because i believe they just keep buying the world's best looking players, who do play well, but go there to lose form...i was so upset! Ocourse we all knew abt the match fixing problem in juventus... but did he have to get bought into REAL MADRID? ok fine... yeah then that came and went. And then, the biggest hit for the day! Chennai city has this annoying history of releasing movies later than any other city in the country... simply because of i dont know what! And this time, this got onto my nerves like hell... i for one, have been waiting for 'pirates of the caribbean - dead man's chest' from the minute i finished seeing the first one! And inspite of having that friday off, i couldnt watch the movie simply because they didn't release it! Arrggghhh...

Anyway.... as of now, i say - Captain Jack sparrow, Where are you! Show yourself!!!!! Am waiting... we're waiting... chennai's waiting for your swaggering drunken walk, and your slurred speech, and 'kohl'ed eyes...and your slender lady-like fingers that u got a stunt for, your whacky expressions and that roller coaster ride type action! and lastly, but never ever the least - those high high high cheek bones that define you - Johnny depp - Pirate of all pirates!! Keep signing those autographs (polls show that he signs the most no.of autograohs in hollywood!), i hope to get one someday!

Well... i'll get back with a solid post later...

Yours " waiting for jack sparrow"ly
Signing off....

The taste, smell, touch, vision, feeling.....of victory!

2006-07-10T10:24:00.000-07:00

Do i need to describe the feeling? The euphoria? The tears.... My italy!!!!!!!!! woo hooo!! They got out of that jinx... that 'we never win a match that goes to the penalty shoot-outs' jinx. But everything else, sticks to history. The power of history sort of dawned upon me last night... 1982 repeated. And i sat and cried in jubiliation...i jumped...i screamed.... Italy reach the finals once in 12 years, and they win alternately. Thats history. Italy lost out on penalty shoot outs, but definitely not in this one! Thats history broken! Its hats off to Cannavaro (the best defender i know), and Pirlo (who has such style in midfield), and Gattuso (mr.agrressive), And Del piero(here's class), And toni (record striker, and one hell of a smile, but didn do too well), and Camoranesi(rough!!), and Grosso(the man who scored that winning goal), and Matterazzi(the man who made dear Zidane let his team down,and the one who scored that first goal), and De Rossi(one more penalty), and the wall - Buffon!(world's most expensive goalie...in Nil's words, he counts money with those hands...he better save the goals! And he did... a great job!) And lastly, but not the least, coach Lippi. His startegy clicked... wow. And to the others... totti, iaqinta, perotta, zamborotta, and whoever's name that must have just slipped.... :D

The extent to which people around you believe in your team sometimes makes so much of a difference. And the people who made me believe italy were going to lift that cup... Nilesh (with all his flashnews and his own startegies to how italy are goin to play!), Sathya (who actually told me that i might have been azzurri by birth for one of my comments! That made me smile like hell), Nitya (who kept saying, just wait and see, they're going to win. Relax...), Sandhya (who made me call her and scream each time italy scored!), my dad (who sent sms' from kenya to say 'fantastic goal divs' like i'm the one who trained the team!)and sathya uncle (who again, sent sms' from kenya sayin go italy! and reminded me that kenya's always italy crazy)....Its been great watching the world cup with each of you guys! Thanks a million for making this fever work.... and thanks to Nik, tsb and anu who always kept the comments section of the blogs alive with football fever!! And ofcourse, Sukanya, for being as excited as me, and sincerely discussing each and every match we watched over the phone, during half time and after full time! You've been great company suk! :D

Its over.... and how much i've loved this past month, i cannot tell. Football's been in me since kenya... where it is like what cricket is to india. I grew up playing football, dirtying my white uniform with red sand, and watching it too... coming to chennai sort of stole that away from me... but i love espn for telecasting the worldcup this year... thats maybe the best thing thats ever going to happen to me this year! The month of june, and the first 9 days of july... magic. Football magic, azzurri magic. I'm going to miss it so terribly.... And its been so easy making conversation with anyone under the sun this one month! All one had to do was say 'hey did u watch yesterday's match....' blah, and the rest would follow! No more of that :( well... we all have to move on i guess! Heaven knows where i'll be and what i'll be doing when this happens again... but i'll watch it. South Africa calling!

The Azzurris worked their magic.... and i still remain charmed :D

Yours "ITALY WON THE FIFA WORLDCUP 2006 and it feels euphoric"ly
Signing off...

Frozen

2006-07-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

UPDATE 6/7/06 - Happy birthday Caulagi!!!!! Have a great day man, and enjoy that tour! You're such a lucky bum... have a wonderful year to come! Good luck.

My college reopened today. After a whole month of vacation. And very strangely, i didn't blog about the 'holiday' feeling. Nonetheless, it felt so lousy to go back to college... but hell, not like i had a choice. But i guess it all got back normal today. We cracked up so royally in the lab and laughed so much, that i almost felt like i'd missed the feeling :) Feels like the past month just breezed past...with my parents here (which again, i did not mention). It was one of those rare times when we were all vetti...and at the same time...so we made something worthwhile come out of the vettiness... and yesterday was a perfect example.

We were 8 of us, 3 so called 'children' and 5 proper 'adults' adanjufied (dumped/squeezed) in one room...the entertainment box switched on, with super loud volume. 8 pairs of eyes screwed up in concentration...and 3 noses sniffing and running, attributed to the recent attack of cold and cough...3 pairs of hands holding tissue paper, thanks to the 'running' noses! We were watching a tamil film. Something i call a classic, for there hasn't been another of its kind till date...so entertaining and funny. The kind of 'funny' that can be understood by anyone, no matter the age (infants obviously not included ;-)). The movie - Michael madana kamarajan! What a movie... we all rolled with laughter in all the 'kaameshwaran' scenes...lol. One of kamal hasaan's best entertainers. He plays a rich businessman, a palghat cook, a criminal and a fire saver... and how fate brings them all together is such a hilarious tale. One that can be watched over and over again, and can be laughed over, even when you know the dialogues word to word (which most of us did!). It was some moment...one of those i'd like to 'freeze'. We were 3 generations in that room... my grandparents, my parents and aunt, my cousins and i. Frozen moments.

Well... i guess thats it. Somehow, i don't want to write about the turn the worldcup's taken. Just that its made me...(well, yes, i love using the word) euphoric. Just got to wait and see...God be with them.

Yours "Only berlin stands between them and the fated cup"ly
Signing off....

Dwell among the clouds

2006-06-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

When you have too many things to post about, the post either becomes a blabberation, or becomes too long. I don't know which of the 2 this one is going to become, but i suggest you prepare yourself to face the consequences, whatever the genre ;-) Now... to Ooty, and Kerala.

When your eyes are being subjected to a feast, it feels like your mind is lost in a dream. A mid-day reverie that you don't want to snap out of. And i found that happening to me way too often in the land of mist and rain... of flowers and peaks...of never-ending greenery. Where you live among th clouds...and walk among them, and yet you cant see yourself within them, and thus find it difficult to believe so... but end up feeling it somewhere in your heart, that it becomes true, and makes you believe. Pine forests to arrest your attention, and make your eyes prisoner....In my opinion, not a single pair of eyes would mind an exile there. You just cant stop looking...The rows of softwood...like symmetry came naturally to them!The trees beckon you to them, but the slippery soils warn you of some unexpected fate you might meet if you succumb to the temptations of the pines whose trunks seem like a stairway to heaven... for the sole reason that their highest branches and tips are lost in the mist, and blend with the sky...giving you the feeling that if you manage to climb up and have a little peek, you'll be in a world far away from ours. So here finally, is the place where the land and the sky meet in total peaceful white-ness... unlike the sea and the sky that meet in rich blue, the colour of the world. Its like living in a dream.

And then there are the winds...whose main aim it would seem, is to push you off the nearest cliff, as quickly and forcefully as possible. The wind and the drops of rain get into a conspiracy to slap your cheeks, and every exposed part of your skin so hard that its like anasthesia...makes you numb with cold. And then the chill becomes painful...Like a thousand needles are piercing your skin from nowhere...and you feel white. You feel like if you try to open your mouth, your jaw might just break away from the rest of the skeletal structure and take a nice holiday... :D But, its a great feeling(only if it happens once in a while). Struggling against that wind very simply draws a similarity to life itself... And when you reach your destination against the wind, and the view from the top is breath taking, nothing else matters. And life too, follows a similar pattern...

And the tale that Ooty has to tell moves on... from deep valleys, that seem as bottomless as an abyss, to tea gardens, to flowers of paradise, to lakes and to home-made chocolate (that i regret not tasting!). But we move on... to kerala. You get so drunken with the greenery that you start seeing everything as green...ok, that maybe an exaggeration, but the place is really green...I don't really know about the cities, but the road to kerala was wow. My mother bought something called 'pazham pori' at some tea shop on the way, which was, i think, banana fried in bajji style! It was sweet...and had 'welcome to kerala' written all over it! And then there was guruvayur...with all the lamps and the elephants...the place humbles you so much. Was beautiful. Temples.... :) Nik, you live in a beautiful state.

Thanks to the trip, i had my first tryst with a fireplace ;-) was super cool... i just kept staring at the flame and lugging more wood... And looking at the reflection of the fire in someone's eyes gives you such an eerie feeling! My aunt's eyes literally looked like they were on fire... lol. And we also had this 5.5hour train journey climbing up to ooty... it was the cheapest travel we made i guess. 11 bucks a ticket for such a long journey in a cute little chuc chuc train that kept stopping and whistling and crying its chucchucs...and that is an antique piece that runs on coal! Some experience... :)

The trip cost my dad money...but cost me... some football matches that i very badly wanted to see... but well, now that am back, i can have it all :)

Yours 'Italy into the quarters' ly
Signing off....

When Jose makes your day...

2006-06-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

Adidas just made my day... or rather, my brother just did, indirectly. I was supposed to buy something with the money he'd given me for my birthday...still remember his great piece of advice "Don't save it, please spend it, all of it!" And i did just that... spent it on something i've been considering ownership of for quite sometime :D A good pair of sneakers...SHOES! Branded. I don't know why i happened to pick adidas, but i do know now that it was the right decision! I
think it started because there's an 'upto 50% off' sale...and there's such football ambience in that place!!

I stepped in to find David Beckham staring right into my face! Woo hoo! A HUGE poster...2 actually. And rows of football jerseys and shoes and so much more... and the last shelf had... football studs! I stared at them for so long am sure the guy helping us around would have thought i was charmed or hypnotised or something! Well... it wasn't too tough to pick the shoes. Love them :D And my mom picked some t-shirt for my bro and me( and as usual, i ended up pickin my t from the men's section! Never like the ladies secn...i dont think things like this ever change!)... normal stuff. But the big surprise came later...

We were billing...and they had this stand filled with post cards... again, the 'big names' in football... Ballack, Beckham, Kaka, Raul, Riquelme...for free. GRABBED some! LOL! And the guy smiled and walked away... i was stuck in this 'slightly embarassed' state but hell, the quotient of excitement and joy exceeded that of embarassment by a huge margin! And just as we were about to leave... the guy came back, with a poster!!! A poster Goddamit! Of Jose's team! Anyone who's seen the latest 'impossible is nothing' adidas ad on tv with thefootballers would know jose's team... 36 footballers + Jose in the poster! I almost screamed! It felt GREAT! And he smiled again... and with my 'Oh damn am goin to scream' expression, i said 'thanks so much'! And once we got into the car, i DID scream!!!! Loudly... much to the annoyance of my dad who does not
approve of posters because they apparently contribute to peeling of paint from walls :D.... But hell!! We were just leaving... and i spotted the same poster that was in my bag, but a blown up version, as a hoarding outside the adidas showroom. *broad smile*

Thats it i guess... still feels great!

sandhya - You've already made me brand ambassador for odomos, mangoes and helmets.... hope you won't deny me te honour of being brand ambassador for adidas, or better, football itself!!!:D :D

Nil - put up the poster for u... :D its not too clear... but i really couldn do more at 2.00am...do see the full size! :D hope u get one too!

NOTE : I have come to realise that no matter where you go eat in chennai, the best place for south indian dosai, vadai, idli, pongal etc... is Saravanabhavan! No matter how crowded, noisy, dirty...You go there to eat, and you eat among a thousand mamaas and maamis and their kids, and spend the least time you'd spend at a restaurant, and come out happy and full...the taste of sambar still lingering on some part of your tongue :D No wonder my thatha refuses to eat out
anywhere else!

NOTICE : This blog will lack the writer's participation for the next 5 days, as she will be out of town. But please do leave your valuable comments :D Will get back to you on the 27th! Will definitely miss my blog, and your comments ;-) But i'll hopefully come back with a story! And some nice pics i'm hoping...actually, i think am goin to miss the matches more than this!! Damn...nil, u better keep me updated man! Messages free within tamilnadu :)

Yours "I so hope I was Jose"ly
Signing off...

Rhapsody

The forgotten song

Within

Chapters

Enna solli Azhaithaal, Varuvaayo?

Melancholy...and Endless-ness

Saffron

Arziyaan

The Eye of the...

This is it...

Up-Bringing

and so...

Greys...and Abstract Revelations

Upasana Arattais

Anubhavam. Moksham. Delirium.

Light... Sun-like

Longing...and Belonging...

Oopsie Daisies!

Grey

Firsts...

Peters and Non-peters

P-i-e-r-c-e-d

The ROAD, conquerable?

Growing up. Growing Old.

Another one!

4 years later...

Drenched, in something more than rain...

Tagged - A-Z!

*Honk* *Honk*

Through and...through!

20/01/08

On Addiction and Attention

Sparks of felicity!

Oh yeah!

*no subject*

In the dark

Pulling the heart's strings

You're the rain, I'm a leaf!

Thair Sadam

Breathing...

At music's pace...

"After all this time?" - "Always"

The Prejudice

Zendagi...Migzara, Smilingly

Battle field of sorts!

On Ammas, Paatis and mappilais ;-)

Telomerase, Marry me? :)

Disconnected

Only Hope

xerox

Brighter than Sunshine

Presence and Omnipresence

Shadows of thoughts

The small nothings... (really?)

Alot of Crap

Plays and Puppets

Yours inspirationally...

Trysts with the wild

GONE?

A 2 hour incident

20 on 20th!

Insignificance

Out of a painting, Out of a moment

2 0 0 7

Chlorophyll in my nails

With love

Sinful Something

A Christened Divine Globe

When they get to your head...

N'-5'-Phosphoribosyl formimino-5-amino imidazole-4-carboxamide ribonucleotide isomerase!!!!

Reminiscence

What's in a name? Definitely something!

A Few Hours' Musings

A rarity from my pencil

More to 'tying the knot' than you think!

WEird as WEird can get...(updated)

Perspective

Universal language indeed...

Navarathri, and the things it stands for

An Appeal...

Honk Honk

no subject