It is the ones you like the most that you let go of...let them have it their way...bow out...and then, when your heart lights up with the memory of it, way into the years, you smile. Maybe you didn't do the right thing. Maybe you should have held on, displayed your stubborn-ness, the same stuborn-ness that disappears in the presence of a few. But no...if it wasn't the right thing to do, you wouldn't be smiling about it now. And ofcourse, there's always happiness in seeing them happy. Happier, perhaps. That, is the curious way in which the happiness inside the distorted head works. Quite marvellous sometimes. Painful sometimes. Giving some part of the mind a new lease on joy. Depriving another of the same. Laughing, but not really. Bitter-sweet. A battle you won, by losing. Where the victory exists, but not in your head. Loss or Gain? You know it for sure...but you secretly wish for an assymetrical slant towards the 'gain'. Maybe...
You let them go, you let them free, you make them happy, you're happy. Maybe thats selfish after all. There's something for everyone in everything that happens. Fringe benefits, or maybe, not.
Yours 'realisations of sorts' ly
Signing off...