Saturday, December 31, 2005


Finally! I guess most of you do know that i am in kenya now... nevertheless, i want to mention it once more...I'M IN KENYA!! Its been a good 4 years (almost), and it feels great! I couldn't stop laughing at how nothing at all has changed...i mean, not only the buildings or the trees.... everything at home too. The sugar is kept in the same drawer...n my dad still wears the same slippers at home! Anyway....Its nice to be back. I wont be around for the next 2 days. Going on an over-night safari for new years. So, i wish u all a very HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! Hope u have a great time...and may you get the best from the coming year...

Signing off...

Monday, December 26, 2005


Today....26th december 2005, marks the first anniversary of a day that devasted thousands of people...took away beloved ones, stole belongings, extinguished the candle of hope...changed some lives forever. This day, we dedicate to the victims of the killer wave - the tsunami. I would never have posted this had it not been for something i just watched on tv now... Something that showed how people try to make a difference...a gesture that could only show the goodness in people...for other people. 2 things i watched infact... the first, was a concert by A.R.Rahman at karaikaal (close to nagapattinam, one of the most affected areas). They had this whole group of singers, with all instrumentalists and stuff by the seaside....and they sang. For the crowd...which was marvellous... the kind of welcome singers get in our world is something truly respectable...they're people who reach out...everyone loves music.

The second was this song...that was done by many many singers together... S.P.Balasubramanium, Sujatha, chitra, karthik, unni menon, malgudi shubha, Usha utup, Vijay yesudas, Srinivas...and one or two more whose names i don't know....they made up this song dedicated to the sea...all wearing white (that really turns me on...when albums have people wearing white)...with the waves as the was beautiful....very touching. Things like these sometimes do re-kindle the flame of hope...or atleast make the affected people know there's still more to life...that people do care.... its very heart-warming.

Well, i guess one thing thats totally unpredictable is nature....and i realised that more when rains hit chennai hard and made all our exams get postponed...and drowned villages...and led to stampedes...and deaths.
I would like to end this post with the lines of a song...a beautiful compostion by rahman...its from the movie 'kannathil muthamitaal'...Vellai pookal

Vellai pookal ulagam yengum malarave
Vidiyum bhoomi amaidikaage vidigave
Manmel manjal velicham, vizhugave
Malare sombal murithu ezhugave....

The exact meaning of those words, i may not be able to give you...but it potrays the idea of peace...white flowers, tranquility, the yellow sunlight, flowers stretching and waking up...

God....I'm feeling so touched. Bless all...

Signing off...

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Saving Stranded Divya!

With reference to my previous post... thank you all for the 'sympathy'! Something really funny struck me when i was listening to people react to the incident... almost all of them asked me "didn't anyone come to save you?" And all i said was...'who do you expect would come?'

And my mind raced... to having a great Captain Jack sparrow hang down from one of the trees with a rope... his characteristic hat on, with his one-bulleted gun....! Or... a William wallace wearing his skirt...with all his long hair...and his spear...trotting into the street closing in on the creature...! Or...Mr.Archillies running in from the rear end of the street with his armour and shield and one big sword, charging in my direction....! OR... or... Legolas and Aragorn both screaming...on with the ethereal air and the blonde hair...the other with the hard looking bearded face and the black hair..Bow and arrow...and anduril the sword...coming from opposite sides of the street! Or perhaps, all of them together, appearing out of thin air??!! LOL LOL... can someone please tell people... Life's not one big Tamil/Hindi movie... its funny that even though i mention only tamil/hindi movie, all the heroes i've mentioned come from english movies... but i guess thats whom i would have preferred ;-) all the right-on-time saving happens just in the movies....!

For those of you who didn't quite understand the 'heroes'
Captain Jack Sparrow - Johnny Depp (pirates of the carribean)
William Wallace - Mel Gibson (Brave heart) i don particularly like Mel, but i liked Will Wallace.
Archillies - Brad Pitt (Troy)
Legolas and Aragorn - Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen (LOTR)

BTW... Merry christmas! Ho Ho Ho!
(I've always wanted to celebrate christmas...with all the snow and the hollies and the tree...and the gifts! Just for the 'effect'... Sigh...someday! Definitely! For that, i gotto be in a place where there is snow.....)


Signing off....

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Reality Bites?

Murphy's law states that

If something will go wrong, it will.

Talk about...being at the wrong place at the wrong time...
Talk about...some things being pre-destined to happen at a particular time, no matter what.
Talk smooth you're day had gone so far, and experiencing something the next moment that ruins that feeling...
Talk about the phrase.... REALITY BITES

Well... maybe its not reality, maybe its just a DOG. Bloody hell.... had to happen. And my motto for life...

I HATE DOGS, I HATE DOGS, I HATE DOGS, I HATE DOGS, I HATE DOGS... tends to infinity times infinity.
For those of you who don't agree with that, no offence, but dogs really suck, and their teeth suck more.......... no wonder i've always hated them.

Signing off....

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Long winding road...

Exam time's here again... a small thought....

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep
-Robert Frost

Is that how i'm going to feel through out my life? Its funny.... the road just doesn't end... can't reach a summit... can't culminate in... paradise. So, we design our notion of paradise....and live with that...Human nature... the mind... wow.

Signing off....

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Double birthday!Double fun?

I always associate this time of the year with birthdays... december, january... birthday season. And today, being December 12th, we acknowledge the birthdays of 2 'thalaivaas' that we know...! One.... thalivaa Rajnikanth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont know how old he is, but definitely looks 10 years older than his true age....Happy birthday to him, and please may he not try concealing his age and rugged looks any further... its just not nice.And the second... thalaivaa Bharat! Happy birthday tsb! (who apparently is being mistaken to be much younger than he is! Sure appearances are deceptive!) I hope you didn't get offended by what i said about thalaivaa rajini... we all know you're a hardcore fan! Anyway, have a great day, and wonderful year to come. Just don't try baking a cake... and making the fire alarm ring...! ;-) We all wish we could parcel some ratna cafe sambar vadai, but that doesn't seem too feasible through international courier, so, adjust panniko! Have a blast! (atleast try...even though your exams start tomorrow!)

May both of them live to blow many many candles and bug their grandchildren to their bones!

Signing off....

Friday, December 09, 2005

Germany - 2006

Its here again! Germany! FOOTBALL WORLDCUP!! I don't know why i am already getting so excited...well, its because the 2006 draw just got over... wow wow, the groups are out! They do look quite reasonable...though it is quite obvious which team is going to qualify from most of the groups... anywayz, there's many many months remaining for june 9th, 2006... so i don't think much can be done. And i hate chennai for bringing in this whole set top box scheme... damn damn! There were times in kenya when we'd all sit in one room (all the kids in the colony) and switch all the lights off....and have an adrenalin rush for, good old times...and we'd scream and shout...i remember that was the time the finals had France Vs Brazil... and i was supporting brazil that time... France won. Zidane's 2 goals and Petit's one... Well, that was the last time i ever supported Brazil... they're a great team... but i still cant like them! And the world cup before that, the finals had Italy Vs Brazil (1994)... and thats when i fell in love with Italy...mainly cuz of Roberto Baggio... That match ended in penalty shoot outs....and Baggio missed a goal for Italy...But he was always good...And even though they haven't been playing too well heart still goes out to them! Anyway... am sure those of you who're not too interested in soccer are definitely yawning..... More abt the draw here....

Favourite footballers, teams (countries), clubs in the comments section?

Signing off...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005


Well...exclamations...excitement...a feeling of completeness!!! Soccer ball...oh man. Am sure not many of you love football...but hell, its one thing i love and enjoy...and i got a new football today!!! Yiippppeee!!!!!!! My old one just had to burst... :( Am just so happy....thats it. I don't want to write more... Nidhee, thanx a million for accompanying me and putting up with my 'no, this shop wont do, this ball wont do, lets go somewhere else' tantrums... and Nilesh and sure you understand how it feels... :)

Yours 'this is the best feeling i've had in months'ly
Signing off...

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Comfortably numb

Have you ever been in a situation where words no longer have a meaning...?
When language can't help you express your thoughts...
When you think there's no longer a verbal mode of communication...
When you feel like the whole world's closing in on you...
When you think everything around you is just shattering to a million pieces...
When you have to force yourself to say you're fine...when you're not, just because the person you're saying that to means the world to you...
When you're feeling so broken...and you're still smiling because there's nothing you can do about it?
When you feel like running...just running...and never looking back.
When out of all the pain and confusion...and nothingness...someone makes you laugh...
When you leave things to take their course...because there's nothing you can do to change them...rather than accept them.
When you're helpless......
trying to be....comfortably numb...immune....careless...

Really can't blame them though...

Signing off....

Friday, December 02, 2005

Shall we dance?

I don't know why i've been starting my recent posts with the same line...just one more time - Another exam postponed... Am sure this is isn't getting us anywhere! exam was s'posed to be tomorrow...which means i'd studied quite a bit! Couldn't they have anounced the postponement yesterday... anywayz, STOP.

Well...this post is titled 'shall we dance?' I don't think am writing a movie review...i watched that movie only for Richard Gere. Man...what charm, what charisma... Anywayz... this post is about an incident i found extremely laughhable...but at the same time, it was an 'experience'!

My cousin, who runs a very successful software business, was holding a get-together/party/whatever to celebrate his 10th wedding anniversary. I thought the party was going to be at their house...and was planning to skive cuz i had to study... (actually i had enough time, but they stay too far away, and i wasn't too interested). But when my cousin's wife called me up, and said the party was at 'the rain-tree hotel'... i really couldn't say no... because that places look awesome from the outside, n is 2 mins from my house by walk!

So we were all there on time, actually the first people to arrive. He'd made it a family cum friends party. So the first hour passed... And the food...was super cool. Its always cool when you're not paying for it! And i was sitting like a good girl with all my 'family' folks... aunts and uncles...i was the 'representative' for my family,cuz neither my mom, nor my dad is here. SO we were having small talk after dinner...and suddenly someone grabbed the mic and said 'the dance floor's open to anyone who wishes to have some fun'. The music started...

I wasn't too surprised when people just screamed and shouted and started dancing right away... but i was DEFINITELY not going to be among them. My 7 year old nephew (cousin's son) made a whole scene by pulling my hand in an attempt to drag me to dance... n when it didn't work, he pulled my dupatta! Now that... was something that didn't look to good... cuz my dupatta pulled my hair 'band' out...which left my hair lose, and i had a very strong feeling i looked like a hulligan in a mess...well, he gave up on me... n i just sat down again and was just watching people dance. There were these 2 particular guys (both in black) who were really VIGOROUS dancers...they reminded me of nilesh. More particularly, Nilesh in black! (anyone wud remember that 3/4th sleeve black, slightly shiny t-shirt he used to wear...) Then, one of my other cousins, who had just come from work, got her dinner and sat next to me. So we were kinda catching up...and suddenly, I heard this voice saying 'excuse me'...and i looked up. It was one of the guys in black...

'Will you dance with me?' Oh my... those words i was dreading! He had both his hands out-stretched and it looked funny (was he beggin for alms..?)... i definitely DID NOT want to do this... so i said 'No, please...' and he was like 'please, just for sometime...please'. I had my mind set... i was not going to do this...NO WAY! And then it started from behind... my cousins, my aunts, uncles, everyone... 'hey just go dance for sometime, wats the big deal?' My mind was
screaming NOOOOO...i was literally pushed off my chair by one of my cousins...and i guess those out-stretched hands just caught hold of mine, and thats how i got to the dance floor!

After that... the whole world was a hurricane... i just remember that the black-tshirt guy kept twriling me round and round and round...and kept making me twirl him...It was in that moment that i realised that when you're dancing, truly, its enough if one out of the pair actually knew what had to be done...and how to do it. i couldn't even hear the music cuz my head was spinning like crazy...I was so unbalanced, and fazed, and in such a 'life's a one big circle'situation that i needed to HOLD on to something...and... the guy always had his palms open and ready! Gawd...after sometime i started to think it was an old trick! If u understand what i mean...

I finally BROKE out of the twirls... and said 'thankyou very much' and walked away (in my mind, i was running as fast as my legs could carry me!)...HUFF, over. I sat head still spinning. sat there watching for sometime...laughing at those who were holding glasses in heir hands and trying not to pour the alcoholic contents while they 'danced'. It was amusing... i got
bored of watching drunk people dance...and eventually, told my cousin i was leaving...i was walking out of the door...and the black t-shirt guy just appeared out of thin air and said 'thankyou' and shook my hand...I just smiled...weakly...cuz even the sight of him was making my head spin! Heavens...

I then walked up to the roof top of the hotel... which looks beautiful from my i really wanted to see it. And... it was one of the most beautiful restaurants i'd ever seen... and i came back home... long evening, dirty dancing!

Points to be noted :

a) The guy was six rounds into his drinking... so he was probably half drunk.
b)Mr.Black T was married.
c)We weren't waltzing...(GAWD, one of my friends just assumed we were having a slow romantic dance...arrgghh)...indeed the songs were kajrare, dhoom,kohi kahe...
c)He danced with ALL the aunties and paatis in the room before asking me and my cousin to dance... and my cousin, after my feedback, told him she wouldn't allow herself to get twirled...and just danced with him WITHOUT holding his hands... GAWD.

(btw... i knew the guy was 6 rounds into drinking...cuz my uncle came and told
us a minute after he'd taken my aunt on the roller coaster ride...n my unc din
look too happy!;-) )

bottom line....Dancing's not my cup of tea...but it'd probably be more fun if i was dancing with the right person ;-) n not getting twirled so much....!!!Life's one big circle.... seriously.

One last is SHRUTI's birthday...vm. So shruti, HAPPY
BIRTHDAY...may u live to blow 1001 candles...have a blast!!! And this msg... is
from all of us.

Signing off...

Saturday, November 26, 2005 life.

Another exam postponed. And this time, it'll be between 19th n 23rd dec. Beat that...rains are bad. Well... this just means that the trip i was s'posed to make to kenya around the same time is not likely to happen...damn. I was looking forward to it. WHY!! For people who do not know... i stay in chennai with my grandparents and my cousin. My mom shuttles between Kenya (where my dad works and stays) and good ol chennai. My brother's studying in australia. So... i was
s'posed to spend some time with my parents in kenya, where i began my schooling... i stayed there for abt 11 years. And its one place that is very very different from chennai in every Goddamn aspect. But i like both places equally... I've been in chennai for the past 5 years... i must say its taught me alot. To start with, chennai gives the freedom i couldn't have experienced where i stayed with your grand-parents alone ( i mean, without your parents being around) is a different experience altogether. Has its own pros n cons...You really don't know what the hell they expect from you. Sometimes, i feel like i'm s'posed to play my mother's role in the family when shez not around here. And that has made me realise how much she does... n how much her presence means to people around her. Beginning of a life long

U know its funny how we do a few things in the absence of a few people...and we'd never bother to do it if they are around...Let me explain. My mother likes the house clean (as all mothers do i expect)... she'll keep tidying our living room, arranging newspapers, changing the water in the flower vase, making sure the 'divaan' sheet is in place, and screaming at me if i leave something out of place... and I wud never bother. I'd claim to have other work to do... will have any excuse to not tidy up. But, the part of the year when shez not here, i do her work religiously... just cuz she would like the house to be that way. I keep my study table clean cuz she usually insists on it...I don't even know why...Everytime i eat, i remember not to make any noises, loud or not, cuz my dad doesn't like it. But hell, my dad's not here! I see him once a year or less often! I still make sure i stick to it...Its really funny...Sometimes, i even iron my already-pressed clothes, cuz my brother believes that properly pressed clothes are very very important... i used to make fun of how much time he spent every morning pressing his clothes.I use the word 'spent' now... used to use 'wasted' before! Wierd things in life huh?

And living with old people... or people 2 generations ahead of the absence of the generation that's s'posed to fit in the middle... is something i think everyone should do at some point in life, even though it gets very frustrating at times. All the cuddling and the spoiling and pampering is when you meet them rarely... You know people say that grandparents and grandchildren have a common enemy...? Maybe its not so true... because the enemy is someone
who is 'needed'. Without who the generation gap's problems just become as prominent and clear as a black spot in the centre of a plain white sheet. Atleast i feel like am in a generation lost in space... But more than that... u don't know who needs to take care of who. My parents have left me under the care of my grandparents...and yes, they do take care of me alot. But its so mutual...sometimes i feel like i'm the one taking care of them more! They can be so obstinate, throw tantrums, put on long faces when they cant get their work done, and obv need the younger people to do all the 'buying' work...all the addition to what is done inside the house. And they expect you to handle it... I'm definitely not complaining... because i believe that what's going on, is sort of wrong, and very unfair to my grandparents. Its like they
haven't had enough of bringing up their own kids... and now they've got more responsibility. Its their turn to dwell in the silent hills of their childhood...and enjoy time's olden memories that are good and sweet. But can't explain something of this sort to helpless parents... who know what they're doing is not the best thing in the world, but really can't help it.
And that leaves all of us here helpless... which has made me come to the conclusion that helplessness is one of the worst feelings in the world. life moves on...and we've accepted things the way they are...we share bliss in small things... i love sitting on the kitchen slabs while my grndmom's cooking and hold small talk with her (invariably she'll be talking abt her family, and my mom as a kid)...and i really don't mind chauffering (on my bike) my grand-dad to the temple anymore...and i make sure my grandmom does the least work possible, cuz shez not even s'posed to be doing anything if you look at it
from a 'what's fair' point of view...and now, i think my grandmom's the sweetest person in the world... and i think my grand-dad's one person whoz learnt alot from life, and that he wants to impart his worldly knowledge to his children's children, which is not a bad thing at all. And the kind of smile that comes on to your face with those slight tears in your eyes which do not trace their way down your cheeks, when your grandmom's telling your parents how proud she is of
you and how happy she is... is something to die for. And i mean it.

Am not going to apologise for boring u...kinda do that in almost all my posts.
This post was straight from the heart...and something i never thought i'd ever
post about. And after all... its my blog...

Signing off....

Thursday, November 24, 2005


My Math exam got postponed... wow wow... i really didn't ask for it. Actually, i wanted to be done with it... get rid of the damn thing. But NO....somebody else thought otherwise. Its been postponed to 17th dec! Beat that....damn! So, this has left me in a very irritated and vetti/jobless state! thankful for this blog. Love u blogger!

Now.... baggy tagged me. So... i wud like to honour that tag cuz it wasn't the types that said ' u have been tagged by the blue dog or the red elephant and if u dont send this to 1 billion people, u'll have a screwed up life / love-life...' ;-)

Seven things i plan to do

a)Learn driving
b)Pass these exams decently...
c)Buy my dad a birthday gift that he'll like (u know how difficult that is?)
d)Spend one day doing noting but watching movies back to back
e)Develop what people call 'soft skills'( my friends made me realise i actually have some!) i.e Practice singing and make my music classes worthwhile, write more poetry... and sketch Legolas, Aragorn, n captain Jack sparrow (depp) PROPERLY (the last time i sketched legolas, the only resemblence was the pointed ear....*sigh*)
f) Tell my dentist to check up the meaning of the word PAIN in the dictionary
g)Start charging people for pep talks...!!! or become a part-time counsellor! ;)

Seven things i can do

a)Remember birthdays
b) Makes Dosas!!!!! and chappatis...and pasta, and blah...
c)Watch any unheard of movie just cuz Johnny Depp's in it
d)Spend alot of time staring at my wardrobe and finally wearing a kurtha that my mom totally hates...and will insist on my wearin something else.
e)Play football for hours...and enjoy the 'sweet-summer-sweat' and the swollen red face!
f)Read a book without realising passage of time,and scream at anybody who tries to talk to me at that time!
g)Watch the sunset for eternity...or the moon passing through the clouds... aah, what character!

Seven things i can't do

a)Grow my Nails
b)MATHS (and the exam had to get postponed...i want to be done with the subject!!damn damn)
c)Sit in a room temporarily inhabited by a dragonfly/grasshopper/wasp/anything that can fly
d)Sit and watch my grandmom do all the work
e)Drink milk that has aadai/yedu/cream... or, drink payasam
f)Watch old people run to catch buses...
g)Take/stand lies...

Seven things i say the most
c)Yeah right
d)Big deal!
f)Ehu ehu (cough)
g)Cross the bridge when u get to it

Seven untagged people i want to tag

Well... i don't think i want to tag anyone. This is quite a nice thing to do, so fellow bloggers, u can do it cuz i think people don't mind reading such stuff!
Atleast i enjoyed reading baggy's...

Signing off...

Monday, November 21, 2005

Should I be thankful houses in Chennai don't have Fire alarms?

Lesson learnt : Never ever make fun of tsb again!

If u guys havent figured where this post is heading after reading the title and the first line... i wud suggest you take a look at tsb's blog first. Anywayz...the story.
I was studying...sincerely. Cell biology. And there was this reader's digest sitting infront of me...very inviting, face to face wih Charlize Theron, nice photo on cover...some survey about men hiding emotions...So i decide to become a little in-sincere...and i open it. The last few pages of RD usually have these health tips and stuff. This time... there was something on how taking short naps can improve your concentration...very nice article with hard evidence, surveys and all. So what do u think any normal person would do? YES... its what u're thinking. I closed my book... and went to sleep...! K... then i woke up after a while. U know we have this crave to EAT something on a cold/rainy day after waking up in the afternoon (which reminds me, its raining here again)... There's a very beautiful scientific explanaion for that which i will not go into now....definitely some other time... so i had that crave... and there was NOTHING at all to eat... except this packet of pori (puffed rice). So, i decide to add some seasoning... i cant eat it just like that for chrissake... Thus, i switch on the gas and put an 'illipa chatti'/kadai/pan...whatever u call it. Add some oil, and pour the whole packet into the vessel... aah...and am mixing the salt and the chilli powder... smells nice. oooo. Then... turning point - phone rings. I pick up, i talk, i forget about the pori. Smell changes, not nice anymore. Sort of like its.... burning. Shucks... paaaaaaati adi pudikardhu! Grandmom comes into kitchen... by this time i've switched off the stove...and the stuff's smoking like a chimney...paati is no tension, no panic, no big deal types... she takes the stuff nd pours it into a container... and chucks the BLACK remains... and of now... am eating the unburnt, seasoned, slightly burnt- smelling pori... all for a crave for carbohydrate to touch my tongue...
Maybe i shud stress the first line of my post again. Even though my lesson was s'posed to have not talk on the phone when something's on the stove, or switch the stove off when you're yapping... or don't ever try seasoning your pori!

I was s'posed to post something else... but THIS, just had to be menioned...

Last thing... its my cousin's birthday today... so HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARTHIK from me, and all the lovely people who visit this crappy page and leave comments... God bless u all.

Signing off....

Saturday, November 19, 2005


My first exam sucked. And that's an understatement. But i am not going to rant about it...because its OVER and done with. And i do not plan to write an arrear paper...and God help me on that. Like that phrase 'Do your best, and God will do the rest'!! I don't know why i am saying this, but i am going to have a 'head-bath' tomorrow... to 'thalai muzhigify' the subject (for people who din undertsand that, am sorry but there's no english translation...anyone who knows wat that means and are capable of explaining, kindly put it up on the comments section) This a letter. There are things i've read before titled 'letter to God'... and they're quite nice to read u know. They're nice because you can relate to them, atleast here and there. Some of you might find it ridiculous, but hell, people do write stuff like that...and others read them. It
helps if you're under some sort of stress/strain/tension...pardon the jargon. Its the after-effect of my chemical engineering paper...which reminds me that though the 3 words convey the same meaning in this context, they are VERY different in chemical engg! Not deviating. Coming back the letter.... i am going to write a letter....but not to God (actually, i could do with writing one to the situation i am in!).

Dear, respected, admired, loved, (u can add more) Ms........,

I hope our dear Lord is keeping you and your family in the best of health and spirits. I think there are millions of people out there whose lives you have affected. In small ways or big. Some may have had sleepless nights, some may have caught colds standing in the open in the middle of the night... some may have a cried a river. Some may have gone through all of that. Maybe i don't belong to any of those categories, but u've been one big influence in this mundane life of mine.... Master of the pen, embodiment of creativity...this is a tribute to you, and your writing, and the influence you have all over the world, and to your life... what you were and what you are now...Maybe your life's an example of how one's career can be born from the ashes... very like a
phoenix...maybe not literally, cuz a phoenix symbolises 're-birth'. I have never been 'crazy' or maniacal about anything in the past...atleast not in this manner. u have the honour of making me go gaga/bananas about something...that is out of this world.
(if u still havent guessed who am talking abt...i have no words for you)

Joanne Kathleen Rowling.

What do i dedicate to you? Sleepless nights (my eyes glued to every word,sometimes in torch light brightness,or rather dim-ness!), the enthusiasm, the craving, the madness, the 'am-not-hungry-cant-you-see-i-am-reading-harry-potter' moments, the tears (oh my...its albus...and oh my, its snape, how dare he!), the wait, the anticipation....i hope its not going to be long.

I can just about wonder how it feels to be the most hyped writer in the world...but that hype didn't crop up from definitely earned it! Just a few chapters into 'philisopher's stone' and you have your readers... for years. They just increase in number... However busy a schedule, people take time off for HP...people skip meals, skip the bliss of slumber-land, skip feeling anything but what harry's feeling. I read somewhere that someone almost met with an auto accident reading goblet of fire on his way home! And as for me... i was climbing up the stairs with 'half blood prince' held opened in my hands... and the consequences were quite ugly, though i din fall... missed a step, and its scary when that happens! I bunked one day of college...and sat curled up on the couch, stretched out on the bed, in a funny sitting position on the floor...and
even in the loo with the book! And it was definitely worth that bunked-day! And you're not hungry, and you tend to scream at anyone who asks you something just because they're spoiling your continuity, and you laugh out loud...people in the house think you're sick up there. And when you're done reading...your head is clogged. You cant think of anything else! The whole thing's happening again in your're visualising it. Feels like you want it all to be true... u feel like fiction rocks. You want to trade the unreal for the real.

And there are the movies...I hear you are very very accomodative...don't interfere much. I think bringing a book onto screen itself is a daring attempt...cuz u have to be true to the novel... and in your case, there are people who are hard core fans...its difficult. And now...when the 4th movie is in the theatres, i just have to get myself stuck up with exams without which my life would definitely be a colour-filled rainbow! I cant watch it...for now. and i have come to realise how much HP affects me! How much of a fanatic i am. I don't like being crazy about anything...i don't like being affected or influenced by anything so much. But i love this! It feels nice to belong with the fans... to feel feels normal.
How the hell do YOU cope with all this? Doesn't it feel great? Sincerely my lady, you should be on the list of the 10 most influential people in the world or something! Did you know that the New york times had to re-arrange the pattern of its best seller list because your books were just clogged at no.1?

I could go on forever Jo... but i'm sure MY readers are getting bored now... cuz am just RAVING and maybe Ranting too....Bottom line... you rock! And we're waiting for book seven.... please please please....(tends to infinity) start writing soon...try not to kill Harry, Ron or Hermoine, and make it the biggest, fattest book you have ever written...and the one that will be remembered to any day as the glorious ending of a wonderful series...
Yours Truly,
an admirer.

If you guys are still reading... assuming u like Hp. Tell us if u saw Movie 4 and how u liked it...tell us any funny incidents u can relate to the books... tell us if u're as crazy as the admirer who wrote that crazy letter....The exams are definitely having an effect on the right side of my brain.... or is it the left? ;-)

Signing off...

Thursday, November 17, 2005

A Different World

Though my exams are putting considerable amount of strain on my head... they're helping me realise a few things which i think belong to the world of science....and you need to feel them to belong with science....Some things can't be put into words..... thats why u have the scientists.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.
- Einstein

I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.
- Isaac newton

Two quotes.... not exactly my state of mind, but the things that have been dawning upon me. I like what i am doing because there is this enigmatic element involved.... you can question so many things about your own body and not have a single answer, or have several answers.

I read somewhere....that science is like a forest we're trying to clear. And the more you get into the job....and look at the heap you've cleared, the more you realise you have a long way to go. So, the more you unravel... or the more you discover.... the more you realise your ignorance. And maybe that's what Sir Isaac Newton was trying to tell us... you look at the small details... and forget there's so much you don't know. So much nobody knows...Or maybe even the small details are so captivating that it seems impossible to step further into the ocean...But hell, its a step by step process... and i don't think anyone's reaching the summit. Maybe its because there can be no summit. Look at the pebble and you don't want the revelation of the ocean of truth...We're happy with a pebble and shell...
Ignorance is the fuel.

Welcome to the world of science.

(i think the post got a li'l out of hand....too science seasoned. sorry!)

Signing off...

Thursday, November 10, 2005


Its not a very common question that's asked around, but when it IS actually asked, it is my personal oservation that many many people who have been asked about it mention 'the-smell-when-rain-touches-the-ground'. You must have figured that the question is 'favourite smell' or something close to that....Some other nice answers i remember are petrol and freshly ground coffee. Maybe i remember them because they are among my favourites too...including the holy ash 'vibuthi' and any yummy smelling food...!! (who wouldn't like that!) Anywayz, thank i don't know what for our olfactory senses....even though we cant be as good as dogs. Ok, am starting to blabber.... so i'll finish this.

A while back.. i was browsing the net looking for some info that my damn text book did not have...microbiology BTW. And i happened to come across something abt the organism in question, but obviously not exactly what i was looking for (serenditpity, i've heard they call it)...hell, if i write what i just read, in my answerpaper, they'd probably strike off the whole paper!
Anyway, i think serendipity is a nice word (other words that i think sound nice are 'rhapsody' and 'placid' They somehow seem to convey the meaning with just the way they're u know why i have both words in association with my blog)..... cuz the concept rocks! Even Alexander Fleming is said to have been serendipitous, because he was merely cleaning up his laboratory when he discovered that the Penicillium mould had contaminated one of his old experiments. Apparently, the word has been voted among the 10 English words that are most difficult to translate! isn't that cool? Before i completely deviate, and forget what i wanted to post....the article.

Most people notice a distinctive smell in the air after it rains. It's frequently linked with spring, as the smell of fresh cut grass is associated with summer. You'll find it in a lot of poetry and also on many inspirational lists of things to be happy about. But what causes it?

As it turns out, the smells people associate with rainstorms can be caused by a number of things. One of the more pleasant rain smells, the one we often notice in the woods, is actually caused by bacteria! Actinomycetes, a type of filamentous bacteria, grow in soil when conditions are damp and warm. When the soil dries out, the bacteria produces spores in the soil. The wetness and force of rainfall kick these tiny spores up into the air where the moisture after a rain acts as an aerosol (just like an aerosol air freshener). The moist air easily carries the spores to us so we breathe them in. These spores have a distinctive, earthy smell we often associate with rainfall. The bacteria is extremely common and can be found in areas all over the world, which accounts for the universality of this sweet "after-the-rain" smell. Since the bacteria thrives in moist soil but releases the spores once the soil dries out, the smell is most acute after a rain that follows a dry spell, although you'll notice it to some degree after most rainstorms.

Aaaah.... i had to look up something about the history of dear actinomycetes... ('dear' now, cuz i know wat they was buggin a while back!)....n i ended up with something i've wanted to know for long! Funny....the way things work...

Why don't u tell us all what kind of smells you like? The Comments column awaits you!

Gotto get back to main stream microbiology...... :-(

Signing off...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

What's in a name?

Is it a bad thing to keep posting abt the same thing over and over again? Even though this is only the second post with the same subject...anywayz, who cares!Like i already said in my previous post, i think the boy wizard saga needs a nice, elaborate post....but, am posting something else now....which again, is in bits....and is not doing justice to the series. Anywayz, i was just getting really bored....the loooong post is for some other day....For those of u who don't know, JKR said long back that the last word of the 7th book is going to be 'scar'...well, she said she may be changing it, but it will hold good with respect to what you will be reading below....for now, here are some proposed titles for Harry Potter book 7....or are they?

Harry Potter and the Last Grab for Your Wallet
Harry Potter and the Funding of Post-Graduate Study
Harry Potter and Voldemort (a wedding)
Harry Potter and the Extremely Exausted Author
Harry Potter and There's-Not-Going-To-Be-Another-One
Harry Potter and the Clash With Voldemort Which We All Know He's Going To Win So We Might As Well Save You The Trouble Of Reading.
Harry Potter and the Last Word is Scar
Harry Potter and the Tying Up of Loose Ends
Harry Potter and Lord Voldy
harry potter and the rediculosly long book
Harry Potter and the rest of the story.
Harry Potter and Magical Plastic Surgery (assuming that the last sentence will be "and finally he had a life without people recognizing him because of his scar.".)
Harry Potter and Sunshine
Harry Potter and the it was all a big joke
harry Potter and the "what are we going to do now?"
Harry Potter and the One Big Happy Weasley Family
Harry Potter and the 2008 US Presidential Election
Harry Potter and the Race to See Who Can Finish Reading it First
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Pepsi
Harry Potter and the Romance Between His Two Best Friends That They Never Told Him About
Harry Potter and Case of the Missing Mudbloods from 12.00am the day book 7 released
Harry Potter and the 7 year dream
Ha rry Potter and the Constant Deprivation of Sleep and Eating while you finish the 1000+ Pages
Harry potter catches a cold
harry potter; the godfather
the harry potter that jo couldn't come up with a title for
Harry Potter and Jo-Sincerely-Hopes-That The 7th Movie Doesn't Turn Out To Be Like Catwoman
Harry Potter and the Final Marathon To The Bookstore
Harry Potter and Oh Poor Dear! Bloomsbury Goes Bankrupt
Harry Potter and the stairway to heaven
When Harry Met Voldemort: A true story.
When harry met voldy : A Romantic comedy
Harry Potter and the Holy Grail
Harry Potter and the Over-Analyzed Book Series
Harry Potter and the Never ending Debates
I suppose one of the worst things that could happen to Book 7's title would be if Harry died in Book 6. We'd be left with: Ronald Weasley and What Do We Do Now
Voldemort's cookbook, a guide to boiling muggles
Harry Potter and the red-haired Tribe
Harry Potter and voldermort plee (will you please just walk into the veil?)
Harry Potter and I can't believe how many Harry Potter titles we've come up with
Harry Potter and J.O.I.N.M.E.N.T.A.L.I.N.S.T.I.T.U.T.I.O.N
Harry Potter and HAHAHA (the Unforgivable Laughing Curse)
Hairy Potty and the Underwear of Justice
Ronald Weasley and the Funeral of Harry Potter.
Harry potter and whatever happened to Jo having her title
and just for Peeves.....
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Poo

huff... i din want to put in'd get bored of reading. Though i personally found some of them hilarious.One small guys could put in your own titles on the comment page...lets c how creative, jobless, we can get! Which reminds me...the title in green is mine...

Its thanks to leaky cauldron for those titles...

Signing off...

Monday, November 07, 2005

Its Mania...Fever...craze

It was my wish to have a much longer, more elaborate and nicer post on this topic... but something i just saw has left me flabbergasted.... and has made me realise that i am indeed a fanatic. I just saw on NDTV and Headlines today, coverage of the UK premiere of Harry potter and the goblet of fire.... and i havent been able to think about anything else for the past 1/2 hour.... damn the movie's releasin on 18th nov... n my exams start on 19th. How sad is that? Its frustrating.... anywayz, one thing.... the movie looks GOOD. and EXPENSIVEly made.... hope it does well. And Ma'am J.K.Rowling..... u rock. If only u'd hurry up with that 7th book... we're all dying to read it....

I'll have a better post later... Harry Potter's one thing that deserves something better. Sorry abt this... i just HAD to mention it.

Yours "i love harry potter and am dyin to see the movie"ly

Signing off...

Sunday, November 06, 2005

birthday birthday

I forgot to do this in the morning... anyway, better late than never! Today, Nov 6th is My friend Sandhya's birthday....
Sand - Wish u a very very happy birthday and many more to come! Have a blast!
May your year be as happy, n successful as you would like.... n like i already told u, May the sun shine upon u and show u the way thro' the curtain of rain till the rainbow leads the way into tranquil and joyous days!

signing offffff.....

Saturday, November 05, 2005

What study holidays can do to you

Well.... i think the title of this post and the picture following it make this post quite self-explanatory..... damn damn....'Examinations are a humbug, from the beginning to the end'
Why don't people realise that study holidays are meant for anything but studying....but the sad part is that we can't stay without trying to study....for the first few days, its total fun...movies, books.... but then........ as the D day moves closer.... there's the 'guilt' factor and the 'fear' factor....

For now, i stick to "In examinations, the fool asks questions the wise can't answer" I guess Mr.Oscar Wilde knew his stuff right!

Signing off....

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Its been over an year since I got out of school...and got into college. Said goodbye to old friends...and made new ones. Ofcourse, we all move on...we have to. Not a single day passes when we don't think of school... n the people we were with. I mean, its not like we do it deliberately, but hell, some instance or the other...some phrase, some incident, some words...

u just remember...! Damn the hippocampus...!

And when you meet them again...and realise things just haven't changed, it feels nice. Its the same old jokes, the same tone, the same volume with which each one laughs, the same memories, the same fun,...or almost. So it doesn't mean that if paths crossed once upon a time,and went different ways, there's goin to be no crossing again...hell, we can't travel in parallel paths all our lives....they cross again, n again...maybe not always, maybe not with the ones you'd like your path to cross with... but it happens... unexpectedly...

i don't know why i wrote this sappy post. Maybe cuz i just met up with my vm mates... n they're goin back soon. Anywayz, there's one last thing before i finish- VM classmate, friend and fellow blogger ( in that order in my acquaintance), Nikhil is leaving Doha the day after tomorrow...well, he is coming back to india, but that kinda means that we don't get to read an updated blog on a daily basis. Anywayz, we shall look forward to updates, so please do update. And all the best... 2nd year mbbs n all.... i guess its better to give out prescriptions as a full doc than a 1/5 doc!

And... my exams are coming up :-( . Have to start studyin...DAMN!That'd mean less frequent updates... Why can't they just ban exams from the planet? Exams can rot in hell...n so can the people who first introduced them.

Signing off...

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Its that time of the year....

Once a year i get to see the sunrise.... and that to, not by choice. Its a tradition....whereby you wake up anytime before 6.00am...for me, it means the time of the day that i'm just not familiar with, whatsoever.... Anywayz, everyone's in the festive mood, why spoil it....and besides, if you don't wake up, there are always atom bombs and double shots that scream in your ear....and make you feel like you've been riding on a bumpy road all you a feeling like you never slept. Welcome to the festival of lights (honestly, i think it should be re-named the festival of sound and pollution...but whoz asking me...) - Diwali. Of course the fireworks display in the sky is beautiful...if only the americans knew that the display that they rave about on their 4th of july celebrations happen at such a great and liberal extent here....but some things just don't change. Am sure those of you who aren't back home in india are missing it....and talk really high of it now, but i guess i won't think of it that way till i don't have it. The whole issue of knocking at people's doors and putting on a fake smile, and holding a plate full of goodies that were definitely not made at home (and were bought after one hell of an argument between the elders as to what the neighbours bought, and from where, and how we're not s'posed to buy the same thing from the same place) is just not the best thing to do in the world.... But anyway, am not complaining. Wish you all a very safe, prosperous and

signing off....

Monday, October 31, 2005

If my BOC lecturer read this...

I wrote this small piece in my bio-organic chemistry (BOC) class...and it was a
beginning. It became a habit. I guess BOC classes can do more than lull you into slumber
or get you into the mood of playing 'tic tac toe' or 'hangman'.


A mouth moves...two hands gesture...
Several pairs of eyes if in awe...
Their eyes truly looking into some place far...
Looking beyond the mouth and hands,
Their mind miles away...
Where life treats them better...
Where things go their way...
Places only the mind can reach...
Only the curtained, veiled eye can see...veiled by false concentration.
Seeming charmingly concentrating, however fake...
satisfying both sides.
Unfortunate enough to the hour, by the second.
Misty eyes that stare beyond...beyond the object,
beyond the stars...beyond reality.
Minds that travel further away from the present than can ever do...
The window to the mind - the eye remains,but well veiled...delusive.
They go hand in hand...and they will as long as the wind blows...

Lectures and daydreaming!!

Signinig off....

Sunday, October 30, 2005

The story that turned out to be what it wasn't supposed to be

I wrote this short story for a competition held by the British Council, chennai. It came out of sheer boredom during my library hour. And i sent it. It obviously didn't win anything, but since am running outa stuff to post....

Another thing...some of you might have already read this... u don't need to read it again, but pl leave your comments. And alot of u may not have read read it and tell me how lame u thought it was! And please don't take any of the 'names' seriously, i wrote the names that came to my mind at that point of time....and they jumped out of books, and movies.


There was no possibility of taking a walk that day… Charlotte wasn't in bed and Mia would have to tend to all her necessities. Charlotte had just woken up...and Mia wasn't sure whether she had the colourful images of her children in her mind or the feeling of being sucked out of a black hole with a fatigued body and bone deep pain. She was too old to move around freely...she could just walk short distances. After a mid-day nap such as this one, she would want to sip a cup of hot, extra strong black coffee in bed and watch the sunset...she admired the hues of red, blue and purple as if they were her own creation and as if they filled the voids within her...the voids that were overflowing with emptiness and nothingness...She felt strangely complete. Mia sometimes wondered how something as small as the sunset, something that happened every single day, could play so big a role in the life of a woman so old and fragile. What she didn't know was that that time of the evening was when Charlotte’s brain was like a wheel barrow in a garden...filling itself with flowers, like her children, their visits to the park, their late night story telling sessions or occasionally, with weeds, like the arguments they had and how the past and present were so inexplicably different. And when the red twilight gave way to the purple of the night, her mind would be too heavy with thoughts that she felt like her head was jammed and the weight on her neck was becoming unbearable! She would stop was just too much for her to take in. Then, Mia would come in with a tray, wearing her favourite blue apron with orange flowers, and pour her more coffee and make her eat those hateful figs...Oh, why were such unpalatable fruits supposed to be good for her deteriorating health? Sometimes, she felt like she'd prefer an early death to forcing those dark, dry blobs down her poor throat. But she still ate them, everyday. Then she would say "Mia, take me to my children honey!” her eyes sparkling and looking double their size behind her thick rimmed spectacles. And Mia would ask "which one do you want - the seaside, the park, Melanie's 8th birthday...which one?" Charlotte would choose one of them...Mia always gave her ma'am lots of choices. She knew it was always better for her to pick one than think of one herself. Mia would then pull out a large bound album of photographs and place it on Charlotte's bedside.
"Oh look at my Melly! Her green eyes look like two olives!"
"Yes...they're very pretty, aren't they?"
"But now she has brown eyes...she calls them 'lenses’. Apparently, green doesn't suit her complexion any more. How ridiculous I say!"
"Oh ma'am, let it be. Look at the beautiful cake that you'd baked."
"No Mia...I can't let it be. My children are little Cole is now a big man with a beard! The sight of him gives me goose bums...he always has a sly look in his eyes which makes me feel he wants me done away with as soon as possible...he no longer resembles the ginger-bread man he loved so much! And Ivy...whose face always looked so she'd just gulped down a Thanksgiving meal of turkey and tart gives me this feeling of wanting to run away and never look back when she looks at me! And the three of them huddle together in a corner and whisper like they’re plotting a conspiracy against me!”
"Ma'am, your children are all grown up...and they left like all the children in the world do." Mia said, dusting the crystal dolls on the corner stand of the dimly lit room. Charlotte sighed and gazed at Mia. This woman had become such an essential part in her daily routine. She would probably be resting in her grave in some cemetery if it weren't for her. Mia caught her gaze and gave out a hearty laugh that sounded as warm and brown as her own complexion...
"You stop throwing such looks ma'am. I'll fix you dinner and tuck you up in bed. I have to rush back to my Porky."
Another child that's going to turn into an ungrateful brat...thought Charlotte. Mia did as she said and hurried out into the freezing night. The moon was up and throwing a silver light on the pathway as if to guide her home.

Charlotte lay in bed...she was replaying the conversation she had had with her children 3 days ago. Apparently, they had searched the attic for some old crystal pieces and found a few missing. They accused Mia of stealing and wanted Charlotte to send her away...What right did they have? Mia was the only person she had now...She was racking her brain trying to recall if she'd moved the crystals...but how did it matter even if Mia had taken them? She never used them, or even saw them in 9 years now! But it mattered to the law...her children had said so. Instinctively, she hunted for her will… She found it in a messy stack of documents at the bottom most shelf of her rusting bureau and read it...the dim yellow light fell on the parchment to the intricacy of her signature as if signifying something she wasn't able to fathom...She wanted to make changes. Lots of changes. She wanted to leave everything to Mia, everything that had ever been in her possession, including the crystals. With that thought filling her head and heart, and her will by her bedside, she drifted into blissful slumber...

She was awoken by the sun rays filtering through her blinds...touching her wrinkled skin. Inch by inch they moved further sending spasms through her spine. All was silent and still. The morning seemed so unusually dead with deafening silence...She hummed softly...her song seemed to silence the silence... there was something terribly wrong in the air. Mia hadn't come in yet. What had happened to her? Then, as if to answer her question, she heard a click on the door and footsteps entering the kitchen. She heard eggs being placed on the rack, milk being poured into a kettle, vegetables being thrown into the vegetable tray as if the person throwing them was fuming with rage…and before she realized, she could see the silhouette of a lady at her doorway…unmistakably, Mia.
“Tea or coffee?” she asked, her voice uncharacteristically cold. Charlotte’s eyes rested on the tray. Yet again, Mia was giving her a choice…how very different from her own children.
“You send her away mama, and the three of us will take turns to looks after you. You cannot object mama, you don’t have a choice.”
The words were still ringing in her ears…mean minded children.
“Ma’am, do you want tea or coffee?” Mia repeated patiently holding a sugar cube at the tips of her sweaty fingers. Charlotte saw tears filling her eyes…Mia’s words faltered.
“Oh! My dear, What in God’s name is wrong with you now?”
A stream of tears was running down Mia’s cheeks…
“It’s my Porky ma’am…he helped his father smuggle in opium for a local organization. Hateful man my husband…why can’t he leave me and my child alone? They’re going to arrest Porky ma’am, I have to leave the city before it is too late…And besides, it won’t be long before those children of yours find out that I sold two crystal pieces from the attic to save my wretched husband….I’m leaving ma’am!”

Charlotte felt like her insides were twirling in a hurricane. She was hanging on every word that she’d just heard . It was difficult to tell the intensity of the feelings she felt. They were too contradicting…she couldn’t decide whether she was more affected by the idea of Mia leaving or the fact that she did actually sell the crystals…She felt that familiar weight on her neck and her head jamming up with thoughts. What would she do without Mia?
“No Mia! You cannot leave.” She yelled, her voice hiccupping in tears.
“No ma’am” Mia objected, “I’ve had enough of this monotonous life…I want to run away from all these responsibilities…they’re becoming too heavy a load on my breaking back. I can’t take care of you anymore; you wouldn’t want me after what I’ve done. Allow me to leave ma’am, the morning breeze calls my name…it leads me to a promised land.”
“Then you must take me with you…” Charlotte cried, with an expectant look in her eyes…like a child waiting eagerly to be picked up and carried by her mother. And her voice trailed away…as she broke into soft sobs.
“It doesn’t matter to me Mia…I don’t care about the cry…crystals.” She said, her voice hiccupping again. “I couldn’t live without you…I can’t live my routine without you. Every night, when you leave me tucked in bed, I long for the morning when I can see your chubby face, and your blue apron and hear your hearty, brown laugh. I would never have come so far without your nursing…will you not heed one of the last wishes of this dying, old maid?”
Before she could finish, Mia had raced out of the doorway. She came back holding a small purse…
“Ma’am, look around you.” she said “This is your home… What good will a journey to some place we don’t know help you?”
“Mia, if you aren’t there, I wouldn’t know who I am. I would prefer knowing myself to living in a house that my wicked children are waiting to take away. They’re waiting
Mia…like scavengers…vultures.”

With that, there was no more talking…the twosome walked out of the gate with the little money they had. Charlotte had stuffed her photographs into a handbag which seemed non-existent in the past nine years and Mia had taken a good deal of figs…When they just stepped into the front porch, Charlotte turned back and stared at the house…suddenly, she started into a half run that almost broke her legs and made Mia feel like she was holding her heart in her hands…She walked into her bedroom and looked at the parchment that was lying at her bedside. She folded it neatly and stuffed it into her bag. Things were going to change. The dawn wind was taking them to a promised land…and probably, something new would fill her voids that were overflowing with emptiness. But the sunset would always remain her ultimate comfort. She looked around her room, her blinds, her crystal dolls and the unwashed tea cups and sugar cubes that the ants were now relishing…and she smiled in final farewell. “I’m coming Mia,” she whispered, “I smell freedom.” She turned her back, squared her shoulders, and walked out…allowing the dawn rays to rejuvenate her spirits.

If you are still reading this line, am happy you didn't sleep through!! Yipppeeeee
The title has a relation to the story, and myself.

Signing off.....

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Deafening Silence!!

Am already running out of ideas for a post. Makes me wonder what my blogger friends do when they don't know what to write. Well. Its been quite an eventful day.... My friends, lavanya and nitya have come down from hostel.....was nice meeting lav again.

Ok this is something wierd. For the past 2 days, its not been very hot. Thats not very common in chennai....but hell, its true. So, i've been sleeping without the fan switched on ( wats the world coming tooooo!! ). I find it very difficult to fall asleep...not because i can't feel the fan's 'air' but because i can't hear the sound!! Ain't that the most silly thing u heard today? I never knew things like this make such a difference..... hell.......!! Its like deafening silence..... wow, an oxymoron! k.... i'll post later. And bharat.... thanx for asking me to update. I know i already told u this, but i want to mention it again. It made me feel like 'yiiipppeeeee someone wants me to update'!!!!

Signing off....

Friday, October 28, 2005


One of my friends once told me that people around me see my poetry as a medium to express my languauge skills, and as a form of true art. But she thinks its an expression of feelings, a medium for me to bring out my thoughts, and help myself adjust to the people around me. At that time, she said she was 'sorry' if what she said was wrong.... I would like to say this. To Padmaja. I don't think you should have apologised for something that couldn't be truer. I think poetry is something difficult to be appreciated, even by people who do write it. To all my friends out there, who take the pains to read all the crap i write, and say its good, whether they like it or not...its a big thankyou! And to those who tell me their interpretations,and discuss them with me, and read it more than once to understand it, its a bigger thankyou! Its great to listen to the way different people look at words u know....u wud never have thought of so many possibilties! This blog may have a great deal of my work posted in the future. Thats one reason i started this blog (tribanga, i took your advice!). Well, this kinda means that some posts are going to be really boring! Sorry abt that.... Well i just indirectly said that poetry's considered boring. I think so too...unless you can relate to it. Once something gets through u and strikes a chord, aaah, you'll definitely like it. Maybe thats why i don't mind reading my poems...Gawd that sounded so silly...its me who writes them! But the poem you will be reading in this post, is one such piece. I didn't write it, but i can relate to it.Like hell. And i think many many people can. Its one of my faves.

By Rudiyard Kipling.


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

A few of you may recall that the last few lines were on one of our prose pieces in 12th std....

So...this a tribute to the writer of the Jungle book...which made him famous. I guess there are more of his subtle works that need to be appreciated.....

I'd like to close by repeating Kipling's words.... If you can meet with truimph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same.....
Maybe we all think life would be better just IF...... loads of things happened. What an apt title.... And this brings me to a quote that says 'you should be the change you wish to see in the world....' Don't know how true it is, but it makes sense in a few situations.

Signing off...


Venice - the sinking city....Venice - the water-logged city. Isn't that what people say?
Well, Our good old chennai seems to want those titles for a while... This again reminds
me of the lines 'water water everwhere, not a drop to drink...' by Coleridge (am sorry am always quoting some poet...). Maybe it should be 'water water everywhere, not a drop that doesn't stink...' (and that isn't dirty brown)Well, atleast Coleridge was under opium when he wrote those words...i don't think i'm under anything of that sort, maybe just some water that i may have accidentally taken in! Ok...i didn't do that!Well, for those of you who don't know, Chennai's having a very very funny weather pattern this year...meaning, the cyclones and the 'depressions' which are always predicted by the metoerological department every year, are ACTUALLY taking place this year...wierd huh? Blame it on the tsunami, or on some silly positions of stars and the sun, or on the beginning of the end of the world......Hell, the fact that chennai has recorded the maximum amount of rainfall in the shortest period of time in history remains fatefully unchanged.

Its funny how residents of this city keep complaining that there's just not enough rain
ever, and that the Rain God is just not showing mercy ( my grandmom keeps saying it..).
Its true in a way. He's still not showing mercy...but this time its no-mercy to the 'excess rain' factor. Broken dams, and over-flowing Cauvery river -how long is it since we even heard of such things? I guess all the jokes of Chennai having just 3 seasons - mild summer, summer, and peak summer - just don't make sense to today's scenario! Hell's been pouring down since 26.10.05 afternoon...And it stopped close to 2 hours back... which is say about 9.30pm on 27.10.05. And its been CONTINUOS. No breaks...and almost at constant intensity. Wow, is this chennai? We're all surprised.....

I'll tell you my side of the story. Funny though it may sound now, i assure you that it
was one of my worst experiences ever, and has made me realise that scorching heat is way
better than unleashing rains. Atleast in a place like Chennai.

When i was going to bed on 26th night, after studying very scantily for my university practical exam to be held on 27th, i said a small prayer - that the rain should stop -PLEASE! All i remember after that, is my grandmom's wailing voice...telling me that all colleges and schools are closed cuz of the rain. But wait a minute, i have a UNIVERSITY exam, i have to go. Just imagine, she hadn't even boiled milk or anything thinking I'm definitely not going anywhere! Aaah...i was going mad. It was Cold like hell, and my teeth were clattering - though i think that was more out of nervousness after i saw my terribly flooded street. I was ready in a jiffy and by this time, my cousin who was wandering in slumber-land, had woken up and had taken a good look at the street, and even estimated the water level! We decided i had to go, cuz i had no choice...and he said he'd drop me on his bike. So we left - i was wearing a blue wind-sheeter with a cap and an umbrella and he was wearing a football jersey (they're water proof!) (and after seeing him wear it, i had this great urge to play football in the rain!), his helmet and was
holding an umbrella. When we got down, we realised how grossly we had under-estimated the
level of water. There was no way a bike could get out without getting water into its silencer and coming to a stop hardly 10 feet away from its point of ignition.Cars were stranded in the water. The only way to get to the bus stop was to WALK. So, we 'waded' into the water...literally. And suddenly, i got transported to the year felt like i was on the titanic! Hell, it was like a 1000 needles were pricking my skin everywhere. COLD (very very cold), BROWN, STINKY water. The water at first reached my thighs. There was no point in turning back, now that we were already royally in some sort of a swamp (actually, swamps never have water to such heights...but i think they're as dirty!). We walked, my cousin held my hand and was literally pulling me forward... cuz a) i was damn cold and b) i was scared to wits end. As we walked on, or waded on, floated on....whatever, the water got deeper...and by the time we were half way across the street, the water reached my waist.A very important point to be noted is that we were walking in the middle of the street...And at this juncture, we heard some sound behind
us...sort of like a car or something....SHIT!!! It was a tata sumo!! I screamed... that was the first time i realised i actually did have a real high pitched, girlish, scream. We forced ourselves towards the side...and the merciless driver drove fast...what a pig. And so the ripples came onto us! And for a minute, the water was even higher! Damn, that was lousy. Life had to be so unfair! It was getting we walked faster. As we reached the end of the street, the water became shallow...thank heavens for that, or thank the drainage system dammit. So we got to the main road, which also had a considerable amount of water, but seemed like nothing compared to what we had been through. My bus came...and didn't stop for a while cuz i was dressed like a clown...then i removed my cap and waved...and aaaah, the driver recognised me! I told my cousin to get home safely...i was damn worried for him, and i got onto the bus...


Whatever happened during the bus journey, i will not elaborate... but i kept thinking of what the hell i would have done if my cousin wasn't there, and whether he got home alright. Basically, i didn't study. The vision in my mind of the morning's happenings, and the sight my eyes were digesting... of a devasted city just didn't allow room for any crappy cell biology theories to get in. We reached college...and i got off at my lab block. All my classmates were huddled in a group...and most of us were wet till the waist, so YIIIPPPEEEE i wasn't alone and everyone had a tale to tell! We waited a long time for our profs to come... but no one did, and so...we just assumed there would be no exam. Our assumptions usually back fire really badly, but not today...since everything from morning seemed to be going the opposite way. Our exam got postponed.To 29.10.05. And may the vice-chancellor of Anna uni Mr. D.Vishwanathan rot in hell for making the announcement at 9.00am instead of 7... We had to leave college. Another elaaborate procedure which did nothing more than get us DRENCHED from head to toe... now the previous wetness just had to blend with the fresh dirty water! So, after alot of cursing and laughing, we boarded our buses again...and i started to panic...thinking of re-doing the whole wading process! But this time there was something else that was nagging... i was thinking of "Anniyan". Anyone who saw it, wud remember the electrocution scene!Not like in a chair and all...but a live wire in the water... How come i never thought abt it in the morning? I was too pre-occupied. How come i thought abt it now? I was even more scared (if that was possible) than i was before. I got off the bus at the edge of the same street that i had left abt 4 hours back...but now, the water was flowing out of the street! For a wild moment, i thought i was at the marina beach...damn! I plunged into the ocean of garbage...YUCK! I tried to shut my mind from any was more difficult cuz i was waking alone! I walked...and this mega-huge truck was coming in the opposite direction! AAAAAAH... But he was a little considerate, kind of slowed down...but hell, the ripples still raised the water level! There were a number of people on the told me to be careful with the 'pallam' or portholes...I felt a rush of victory when i saw the green-grey gate of my flat...aaah, the feeling!HOME!!! I instinctively looked up, and my cousin was looking down...I ran through the gates...a dirty girl dressed in something that was blue in the morning...I was dripping wet... each inch of my body covered in water.... who cares. I was HOME. Thasall...!

Reached home at 11.30am....Even after jumping into a pair of jeans, a t-shirt + a full hand shirt (that once belonged to my bro), i was shivering...and for the first time in the history of my stay in chennai, i wore SOCKS on a cold day... There was no had been purposefully cut off to prevent electrocution... which left us all in a very jobless state. The rest of the day was lazy, but and dirtying the kitchen for my poor grandmom to clean! Once u're out of the mess, u can enjoy it!

The on-going sms joke in chennai says... in the USA, they had Katrina, Rita and Wilma...
in chennai, its going to be Kuppama, Karupamma and chellaathaa!! LOL...
A rainy day...It made me realise alot you know. The first thing being that natural calamities (like floods) are the worst things that can ever happen...THEY SUCK. Second- sometimes u wonder wat the hell u'd do without a few people. Third - Even though things seem hilarious at the end of the day ( for example, i thot my cousin looked like an astronaut with his helmet...cuz he wasn't riding a bike, but walking/wading), u can never ever forget the deep shit u were in! One wrong move...and heaven knows where the devil i'd be.

That brings me to the end of this very eventful post. I just checked the water-level outside
(its 1.16 am now). And i can see the road....yessss!!!
The water's draining out, the
rains have stopped, but the wind's blowing hard... One last thing... anybody who says
chennai's suffering from acute water problems is going to have dung stuffed down his/her
Do you believe a word of what you just read? Difficult ain't it? ;-)

Well, the photographs at the beginning of the post...were taken from my balcony hardly 16hours ago... am off to sleep, and all i hope for is that i should NOT dream of the days happenings.... Nite all...
Yours "i've had one hell of a day"ly
Signing off.....

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The Canine Factor!

Ever read the poem 'This is going to hurt just a little bit' by Ogden Nash? Anyone who did their 10th Std under a CBSE board would definitely remember. Personally, i found it very very funny at that point of time.Especially that little 'pun' at the end that my English teacher used to keep pointing out. But now, i realise how true Mr.Nash's words are...Dentists!Even though i visit that clinic so frequently, the tickle down my spine when i sit on that flexi chair with a million buttons to press just doesn't change or vanish!! Well....Its a long story.

"Clippu potundu irrukeya?" (oh u're wearing 'clips'aah?).Can't somebody just use the word BRACES? what's it there for? Oh my, I'm TIRED to my bones listening to that question. But
all i do is just smile... kind of symbolically telling people 'can't you see for yourself?'Restraining myself from screaming. Can't blame them though...they wouldn't know how it feels like to try closing your mouth after your teeth are freshly 'wired', sort of like forcing your lower lip higher and higher so that it touches your upper lip and covers your teeth within with much difficulty, but u realise that if u DO close your mouth, it pricks your inner lip, and your cheek muscles, wanting you to leave your mouth permanently open like aaaaaaaaa!! or in a eeeee position! Just that it would leave u looking like a vampire with smiling eyes...the mouth trying hard to smile (when its closed)!

The easiest way to lose weight without being on a diet, or working out, is wearing braces! My dentist told me that the first time i met him ( but that was way back then...nowadays, he's boring.Nothing funny... just "your next appointment will be on ..blah"). Well, that did turn out to be true for the first few months...but i guess it wears offff!! NOt any more!! One thing about wearing braces is that you are not supposed to use your front teeth to bite ANYTHING...yes, however soft! Ofcourse, unless you don't mind a terrible ache in your mousy incisors...! So, if u have to eat a banana or an apple, u have 2 options -

a) You could slice it up and use your back teeth to bite ( which is a very boring thing
to do u know...Get knife, peel, cut...neah!) OR
b) Force the whole fruit into the insides of your mouth by opening it wide
and..BITE!(with your back teeth obviously..).

I prefer the second option...simply cuz it makes me feel like i've achieved something!Disgusting though it may sound! may leave you with a tooth ache for over a day...but i guess its worth the laziness...gettin a knife n doing the blah....! Now you're not supposed to use your front teeth, right? It turns out, u're not supposed to use your back teeth either....umm, for a few things.Which would mean that these food stuffs are literally out of the scope of your diet for the 1 or 1.5 years that the sacred wire clings to your teeth, as if your white ( or off-white or yellow), odd-shaped (or square?) structures are the most important of things to them in the whole, wide, wasted world and their main purpose is to make sure your teeth don't run away further from your jaw, or fall out of line! And under this lousy list of goodies comes something we southies call 'murukku'....damn it hasn't touched my tongue for 5 months! Basically, anything thats hard, n has the probability of breaking your brackett ( the small, square metal thing that holds the wire) is not advisable. They're not advisable, so who said we can't eat them? Unless the dentists are jobless enough or rich enough to hire goons! (actually, they do get richer... Mine got new name boards all over the place...beginning n ending of my street, new bright blue one outside his place...even these damn rains couldn't bend the board! damn!) We still eat them...but hell,the brackett breaks. And this inititates a chain of events that u'd rather avoid - Starting from u directing your tongue towards n rubbing it on the 'tooth with the missing brackett', n feeling how rough the cement has made it, and how yellow and dirty, n u having to call up the dentist and
give him/her the good news, to him/her giving u a disappointed/disgusted/'why the hell can't u be more careful' reply, n u going back to the dentist to get it fixed, n him/her putting more cement on your already rough tooth ( cement which he grinds with a mortar and pestle which makes u think of the fish/goat-liver u'd ground for biochemistrypracticals), n then him/her removing the whole goddam wire cuz the whole thing has to be re-done, and all this time, you'll be sitting with your mouth in the aaaaaa position (wanting desperately to catch hold of the gloved hand and bite it), and then he'll tell you to bite, and u'll come to the eeee postion (biting nothing but your own teeth..). Then he'll turn to his assistant and say "its still in open bite, isn't it?" or some kinda crap like that just to discourage you or to show you that he knows something you don't... So, my point is - why eat 'murukku' afer all?

The next thing is the rubber bands...that come in various colours n sizes....they're cute, but hell i'd rather have them on a package than on my teeth! Dentists usually ask u which colour u want ( mine was a total pig and just put on a dark blue one without asking.. :-(.... n they became pale blue by the time i went to him again, and the one in the lower jaw actually snapped! haha) , n then they attach it to your bracketts. These rubber bands are supposed to PULL your teeth inward....but all they seem to do is get
themselves deposited with all the food suffs that pass through the passage-way called the
mouth, n just resist the removal of these particles from their midst! Highly irritating!
There was a time when the 'indian flag' was a very fashinable rubber-band type... I
don't think they make it anymore... :-(...spoilt my chance to exhibit patriotism! But
Quite frankly, i think the whole procedure's very mechanical. I have hence come to the
conclusion that dentists, in their own way are just mechanics...even the tools they use
resemble cutting pliers n hammers! What the hell!

These are just a few aspects of wearing braces...there are more, but i'll stop writing
more for 2 reasons.... a) i think am boring u to death and b) i have an exam tomorrow!
But before signing off, i'd like to say something. First, a big "YOU ROCK, THANKS SO
MUCH" to my friends Nidhee and Shruti and to my Prof Ms. Priya. Wondering why? Well, they
all got braces after i did! So we're braces buddies...n when we run out of topics to chat
abt, u know wat we discuss! Yes, even with my prof! Second, another friend of mine -
Nikhil - said that he thinks braces look cute ( obviously, only on particular people).
But hell nik, if one guy can think that way, they're definitely more! Thanx! And third -
Anu - i remember how she reacted when i first told her abt the braces...she was the first
person who totally understood! And we were braces buddies till she got hers off recently,
and Anu, u look lovely! And fourth and last- I'd like to thank 2 of my college friends -
Rekha and Sandhya. Reks - Thanx so much for checking my teeth for 'particles that love
lingering around and resist the flow of water' after every lunch hour!U're really patient
with me! And Sand - Thanx for taking all the cribbing i do over the phone, and laughing
at all the stupid rubber-band pics i send u!
Thats all for now...

Signing off....

PS: The title has canine in it cuz i got 4 molars (YES 4) extracted for this process,
which left my canines to take the centre stage n look all prominent..dracula!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Nature's Spectacle....

For those of you who don't know...I'm crazy about a few silly things...and in that list
features something called the sunset. How dum!!? Big deal...! I read somewhere
that every sunset is different, but never less breath-taking. i don't think i'd have to
explain the depth of truth those words hold to anyone who enjoys this spectacle as much
as i do. As for those of you who don't....i would suggest u take some time off one
day...stop a while....a few minutes....n look west as the day closes. It won't change
much, but aleast you won't be missing something in life. There's hardly anything that can
be more beautiful....there's this phrase i love that says the sunset is " Sort of like
God's putting a shiny copper penny into a slot to buy a skyful of stars" .....ain't that
nice? DAMN.... i think this aspect of nature has some character. That's how i look at
it...The sun's going into hiding in one direction...n the stars come up before all light
has totally vanished...aah twilight, dusk they call it. me, its just utter
beauty. People say - the sky is God's painting...Hell, then God's one hell of an artist!!
The last light of the day before the sky is swallowed by the inky darkness of the
night....come on, stop n look around....

As a tribute to the most wonderful creation of the whole wide world, i wrote
something.... the sunset....that has a different interpretation in physics....different
in music...different in poetry....different in the minds of observers....


Hues of the horizon...entwined like a facade of life...
engulfing the wide expanse of open skies...
As the master remains hazy... behind a thin curtain of blurry clouds...
Each one cries out in diverse adversity...lofty illusions...
Jarring the gaping heavens out of their subtle reverie...
Filling in voids echoing with emptiness...where something lay amiss..
Casting a spell on a wretched pair of eyes...hooked in overwhelming wonderment.
Emanating new reasons...tender misconceptions...
Hiding the ominous truth...deceiveng with vivid colours...
Calling out to the craving soul...disguised by fake placidness...
To break barriers of inauthenticity...and exhibit utter genuineness,
In the rising spirit of the setting shades...
Unfeigned by the colours of the world,
Untouched by the exorbitant thirst of humanity.
The hues give way to shadows...taking away the light of the day...
Stealing reason and rhyme...from an unfinished ode,
Robbing an innocent mind of the pleasantries of the eye...
Looting a poet's heart lost in splendid brilliance of blend...
Raising hopes in an expectant heart...absorbed in a bond of trust...
Spreading darkness into the evening...knocking at twilight's doors.
While the silver slowly seeps into studded blackness...
As if barring the gates to the heavens...
Leaving behind hollow deprivation...Changing mood, spirit and meaning...
Lulling the world into slumber...
Uniting them with their far off lands...promised lands...
yet another facade...
forever a facade.

Have a nice day!!

PS: The picture of the sunset at the beginning of the a photograph i took!! yiippppeee!!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Inspiration? neah...just for fun!

The past 2 months have made me realise a few things...

a) Blogging helps people kill time.
b) Blogging helps people get to know more about others.
c) Its nice to have a page that's totally yours to write whatever crap u want, n no one's goin to question u abt it!

This 2nd dedicated to 4 people.... in no particular order....
Anu, Nikhil, Bharat an Nilesh... all my former classmates, and present bloggers.

I guess i learnt from them, how u can make a blog interesting, and very very funny. This made me start 'Rhapsody'. Am sure it cant be as funny as theirs, or as interesting.....but its still goin to hold my thoughts...comin from in there! So, for the 4 of you... Thanx for being one reason I'm writing this post today..... n may u keep blogging, and making all of us laugh.... God bless u all!!

Sunday, October 23, 2005


And God said 'Let there be light...' Was that how it all started?
Or was it with dear blue green algae....that managed to possess colour even before the hues of the world were named.....
Or was it the big bang of the universe that blew a single piece into millions....
Who cares? This is the beginning of blogging for me....n it began when i typed my first word!

The beginning......