Sunday, January 21, 2007

20 on 20th!

Through the times of insignificance rose a moment of significance. A moment that turned into an hour, and eventually, a day never to forget. Like i'd already mentioned in the comments section of my previous post, i have these amazing people around me who never let my birthday pass by like just any other day... This post is a tribute to each one of them, whose wishes i'll carry along with me for life, and whose doings are never to be forgotten. I don't think things get better! One of my friends very correctly stated that the 20th of january will tell me how non-insignificant life actually is! I agree. Its some great feeling, and one never gets tired of sayin thanks. So once again, to each one of you, who made my day what it was, Thanks a million! God bless you all!

Right from my 12 o' clock wishes, and the before 12 wishes (people who said, am very sure i wont be able to catch you at 12, so am wishing you before hand even if its technically not yet 20th!), the sms', the day calls, the ISD calls, and std calls, the mails, the cards, the gifts, the visits...each of those...made me feel so... significant! And ofcourse, all those were all the better with the first round of chocolate pastries, which were dutifully squashed onto every member's face, thereby giving the photo a title "cake faces", and the 2nd HUGE, yummy, chocolate, full, round cake with 20 freaking candles on it, in a dark room... *sigh* surprises make the heart overwhelm with...i don't know what! I'm finding it difficult to put to words what i felt... but if there's one thing thats for sure, it was a postitive feeling...it was something euphoric! It was one of those rare days when i had no problem whatsoever in displaying my braced teeth, and not artficially, in genuine smiles, and surprisingly, my mouth didn't want to stop doing it! It didn't hurt...from the minute i woke up to a number of msgs on my cell, to 11.00pm when the last guests left...to much later, when i finally drifted into slumber. The whole day seemed too good to be true... like it happened to someone else, or to some part of me that didn't exist till that minute, and then suddenly became a part of the different parts that make me.

The day was probably the ONLY good thing my college has ever done to me. We were taken aback, and very very happy when saturday was declared a holiday... it was all perfect! There wasn't a single moment which came close to being sad...except this realisation of the number 20! 20 somehow feels BIG. Really BIG! Like all your young and sweet days are gone forever...like its defining a whole new phase in life. Like hell, my mom got married when she was around 20!! That should say something now! Any comments on that? ;-)

I don't want to list out the names of people who i'd like to thank, for the fear of missing out anyone. So... to ALL of you out there, who made 20/01/2007 my best birthday ever, who kept me smiling the whole day, who made me nostalgic to the point of tears, who spread warmth with the first sound of voice, who left my palms stuck to my mouth in awe, who made me chuckle with the teasing tones, who said it all in one look, one deed, one word... THANKYOU! Love you all! You know there's this song...in which someone's being asked the most she's said with just one word... For this moment, i'd say my word 'thanks' means a million things, but still, if not the most, its the least i can say! God bless!

PS: I paid my dentist a visit too on my b'day. Looks like he wanted to see me too! But well, he didn't give me the gift i was waiting for.... :( he didn't take my braces off! But he promised me that 17/2/07 is goin to be the day! :D

Yours "days to be remembered, perfect...they're all perfect..."ly
Signing off....

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Insignificance

UPDATE: 20/01/07 - Happy birthday Devs!!!!!!!! Hope you have a day as rocking as ever. And well, you could say same to you if you want! :D And may your day, your year, and every other day be...brighter than SUNSHINE ;-) Have a great day!!

Can one ever lead such an insignificant life that its acknowledgement wouldn't be necessary? If i say yes, it would contradict the words you see under my blog title. But considering the past 5 days, maybe i will have to contradict those words! You wait for holidays, they come, and before you know it, you're typing a post about how they're all over, and you don't know where the hell they went away to so fast! The pongal season is always looked forward to...if not for the pongal, atleast for the holidays! And being in chennai, i spent one whole day glued to the television. And the other days seem like a haze now. I do remember that i watched Guru :) And that i rode along besant nagar beach at 1.00pm, with the hot sun trying to penetrate my skull. I watched 3 movies, two of which were filled with japanese - chinks. I've always thought that ALL chinks look the same. If there's one thing those 2 movies made me realise, its that they DO look different after all! And one of those movies, i really liked. The last samurai. Am in no mood to write about the movie. The other movie was Memoirs of a Geisha.

Well, since i did say that all that happened was insignificant, lets move on to the only thing i could say holds some significance. I did something i never did as a kid, and never thought i'd ever do. I SWALLOWED MY RUBBERBAND! The one on my braces (i dont think i've gone to the extent of swallowing the one i use to tie up my hair yet!). The realisation of the missing rubberband first took me to all rooms of the house, to find out if i'd removed it and kept it somewhere...but well, no trace of the green thing anywhere! Considering i'd just finished my dinner, i had to accept the hard truth...that my stomach had been invaded by something my teeth would never grind, and my intestines would never digest! *sigh*

And so i live on with the insignificance... its sort of fun in a way, but it makes one lethargic, and sleepy, and bored, and unwilling to move out of the house and catch a bit of sunshine, burried in one's own thoughts, thinking about the hurdles to cross, wondering whether one is destined to do what one is presently doing... i end this post with the most significant lines i have heard in these few insignificant days...

Katsumoto: You believe a man can change his destiny?
Algren : I think a man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.
----The last Samurai

Yours "Perfect...They're all perfect" ly
Signing off...

Friday, January 05, 2007

Out of a painting, Out of a moment

Blood stained skies, red. With blotches of purple, like a blood clot on hurt skin...patches of blue, like hope showcases itself in a less intense shade of copper sulphate, streaks of angry orange... the flame displaying its ferocious acts... an even spread of pink, almost making the wide open space feminine... hints of pale green...tranquility among the pleasing harshness of colour, tinges of yellow...blending with, and getting lost in the orange. A sombre sun, half hiding, lazily drifting into the unknown, throwing its last rays out in impeccably straight lines, acting like it has nothing whatsoever to do with the riot of colours dancing in the sky, holding a pair of eyes in awe, a pair of eyes that refuse to look away for any reason, big or small. The trees, the coconut trees, blessed with a green so natural, sway slightly in the breeze, appear black in the hours of twilight. A black that reveals the symmetry of the big leaves, and their patterns, their ends pointing into the open, poking the air with their sway...reaching out for the hues. Birds, big and small, shed all their colour and fly into the horizon in all blackness, their formations flawless, their wings moving in waves, like a lullaby at a distance.

And the eyes still remain fixed, resisting blinks, in an evening reverie, a reverie that got invited to prevail forever, but didn't, looking at something beyond the colour, beyond the festival in the sky, beyond the horizon...lose strands of hair tickle the neck and ears, as if answering some ungiven order of the wind. And the lips, now dry from a continuous half open mouth, in conspiracy with the eyes in admiration, begin to mutter...words flow out in such brilliant coherrence, that interpreting meaning would seem useless, all that mattered was the words, near poetry, poetry without rhyme, a song without a tune, a story without a plot, a play without characters, a voice without varying tones, like a dream on earth...an unwritten destiny pulling the cart of life. And a thousand hapinesses were lived in that moment, a thousand heartbreaks burst out in that single tear. The eyes still remained fixed. Watching the spectacle through a glistening tear that refused to trace its way down the easy path of the cheek. And there it was, a minute of completeness, a balance of emptiness and fullness, a moment of equal clarity and haziness, a tear of joy and sorrow in one, a mixed sense of achievement and loss, a moment of the truth and the fake on par, the bridge between that relished past and the feared, ambiguous future. All in that moment of complete one-ness. Of self acknowledgement. Of a floaty, dreamy truth. Of life itself.

Yours "moments..."ly
Signing off