Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Longing...and Belonging...

Old age is catching on. Or so I feel! I guess Its just the sudden overwhelming heap of responsibilities that are unexpectedly thrust upon you! I spent over an hour shopping the other day. Aah, now you'll think "Girls! Them, and their shopping!"... Nope, it was one hour (or more) of grocery shopping! And frankly, i've never felt more satisfied after a shopping session! In a way, its lousy, because I know that I spent so much time buying tomatoes and apples and tea because of the price reductions, as a result of which alot of comparisons and careful selection had to be done! But in a way, it felt good. Its learning, and growing, in a totally different way. Its moving from buying a packet of tomatoes randomly without caring how much it costs, to looking at all the different varieties of fresh tomatoes, and finally picking the canned tomatoes because they're cheaper, and last longer! See what i mean? I feel like I've aged 5 years in the past 2 months!

Its also falling prey to Murphy's law more than ever. I don't know if I learnt anything from my Murphy incident, but I do know that I ought to have! So I'll try to write this in the shortest way possible. Situation: Div's mobile has zero balance. She can't make calls. She's been wanting to recharge for the past 3 days, but she hasn't had the time! Additionally, Div has exactly 45 cents in her wallet because she hasn't had time (err, or has just been too lazy!) to walk up to the ATM and draw money. Moving on from the minor details, she's been up the whole night in the uni working on an assignment. She takes the first bus in the morning back home at 6.30am, hoping to catch some sleep before her 9.00am lab. She reaches home at 6.45, just to find that the outside mesh-door, which is never locked (and to which she doesn't have keys), is locked. She knows her house-mates would be asleep. She knocks, they cant hear her (there are no door bells in brisbane!). She doesn't have balance to call their cell phones and tell them to open the door. She can't call from a public booth because she has exactly 45 cents in her wallet (and a call from the booth costs 50 cents!). Classic murphy situation! What does she do? She walks up to a 24 hour store a few minutes from her house, and uses her debit card to recharge. She then yells at the recorded message on the phone-network because the goddam thing is not recharging! After finally recharging, she calls roomie 1's cell. No answer. She calls roomie 2's cell. Finally, she picks up! And the outside-door-that-is-never-locked is opened! Div walks into the house, and is just too angry to sleep! Roomie 2 says she didn't lock the outside door, roomie 1 says she didn't lock the outside door. Sleep seems like a more welcome option than listening to 2 people, 1 of whom definitely locked the door (unless one believes in ghosts!), saying they didn't do it. She goes to bed, cursing herself for everything that went wrong, cursing herself for not listening to her mother's "RECHARGE!" cries!

Maybe it could have been worse. Maybe my house could have been in some place where there's no 24 hour store in 5 mins walking distance! Maybe the store could have been one that didnt have recharge cards, or didn't accept debit cards! But I think it was bad enough! Having to put up with so much crap after a sleepless night! Well, life :)

So... as a tribute to all those things and people I'm missing terribly here...

Dear Raniamma - I wash the vessels and clothes, brush the carpet and scrub the stove! You'd be proud of me! Miss u :)

Dear Mom - I'm waiting for the day my food will taste as good as yours...

Dear Pop - I'm realising the value of your hard-earned money...

Dear Kar - You made me cry the first time I was chatting with you after coming to brisbane. Felt good, because i was wondering whether my tear glands had dried up! You have no idea what our converations do to me :)

Dear Vis - I wish we could snuggle up in my bed and watch house on Iris! Miss your hugs and thumb-fights!

Dear Lav - I'd give anything to just have the kind of conversations we have...just once...by the brisbane river...

Dear Nid - I wish your aircel scheme worked for aus too! Everytime i need to make a decision, I hope like crazy that you'd just appear and whisk me away to aunty's shop for corn florentine and a pep talk!

Dear Nit - You're walking beside me each time i'm holding a camera and clicking something absolutely gorgeous...

Dear shrut - I saw a Capt.Jack Sparrow poster in a store here and knew you'd love it. Waiting for the day we'll get crazy again!

Dear Nik - Your "GO HOME NOW" msg the other day did wonders to lift my spirits, even though i spent the whole night in uni! Your msgs somehow have almost always had perfect timing... :)

Dear Nil - Beer's cheaper here than water. Always reminds me of you!

Dear Bharat - I'm probably going through what you went through 4 years back, and I salute you, for living through it when you were much younger than I am now. Do i need to mention the smoke alarm again? ;)

Dear Suk - You're a smart kid...wish you were my sister :) At this point of time I just feel like saying - You're like no one else I know. Don't let petty things break your heart. You're destined for big things in life... you're going to go places.

Dear Jess - I miss your wise-cracks. We should have spent more time together...cracking up and laughing for the silliest of things. We should... sometime in life...

Dear Sand - The signal pathway in my body that usually gets activated and makes me whacky when you're around is currently dormant, or dead. It's up to you to revive it!

Dear Nanya - I was petting a dog here 3 days back. One of those absolutely rare things in my life... thought yoou'd like to know :)

The list could continue... and be endless...but i stop here. Additionally though...

To all those people who chat with me on a daily basis - You have no idea what a difference it makes.

To music - Thanks, for helping me savour the alone-ness, the loneliness...

Finally...

Dear Nivetha - Thanks for giving me hope :) I know now that I can spend the rest of my time here with more laughter and fun and reason than I thought in the beginning :)

Yours " Ajeeb Dastaan hai yeh, kahaan shuru kahaan khatam..."ly
Signing off...

23 comments:

Nivetha Gunasekaran said...

whoa....the post brought TEARS to my eyes...i mean it...
the emotional reserves that i buried in these 3 months of my stay here jus erupted after reading wat u have written...i hold u responsible for that...

Div said...

Niv - I don't think i could get a better compliment... :) Lets get that non-existent bottle of wine out ;)

Anonymous said...

MAATEY-
Is choti see umar mein itney saarey rog!!
Geez, i don't think i would ever wanna go to the states now..but i ve to..after what all i've done for it.
beer is always cheaper than water, thank god for that!! in other countries that is.
nice eh mate..very emotional post..! my tear glands ave also dried up..i need some emotional stress to revive it..i think tht would be in december to jan period. fuckin eh. cheers.

Lavanya Venkataraman said...

:):):)
i'll make sathya sponsor my ticket to aus from his first salary-what say??

Anonymous said...

Awww.. what a sentimental, touching post!! Guess its all part of being away from ur dear ones. Cheer up girl!

Karthik said...

More that you wetting your tearing glands, it looks like you are making others exercise theirs as well :P. This post really gives all readers an opportunity to think of the people they would/are really miss/missing :) which would certainly be a great/emotional feeling.

I am really happy to hear that "my mokkais" have this much effect :P. Will come up with more and more in future :).

Miss u divi!

Div said...

nil - Go to the US an experience it all :) Enjoy dec-jan!

lav - that sounds superawesome ;)

sementi - Yeah it is i guess :)

Kar - Your mokkais are always welcome ;) Did u wet your tear glands too? :D Miss u too :(

Anonymous said...

wow, i dont think i've worked that hard in my life :/ oh waii, i have stayed up all night on a few occasions, although that was because my lab report was due the next day, and i had spent the previous 2 weeks hunting down previous year's lab reports so i could modify the wordings on the night before and hand it in :D.

sorry for stealing your sentimental thunder, divya :P

oh, and i guess my "words of wisdom" on being alone didnt help as much? :P. you'll get used to it aa. like i said, its always the first few weeks-months that are the worst. after that, it'll pick up. you could also be feeling down because of the weather. true story. winter's a bitch. once summer comes, you'll start seeing people playing cricket and everything will be alright in the world again :D

oh, and i eat tear ducts for breakfast. thought the world should know :)

Anonymous said...

this is too senti di... i m rating it as ur *sentiest* post till date!! anyways it was nice reading it..
i too miss those hugs!!! ESP WHEN I M IN CHENNAI!!! :(
btw tsb's comments are the size of my posts ;) no offence!

Anonymous said...

heyyyy bews....jus saw ur mail man so thot id chk ur blog wid i usually do chk regularly but didnt get 2 chk dis latest post....arrey so senti man..i felt so touchd wile readn it...cnt tell u...d way uve wrtn wot u miss most bout all ur dear ones in jus a line each was so touchn...am sure uve brought a tear 2 many an eye wid dis 1...miss u 2 a lot da...u knw chattn wid u over d last 2days frm coll finally gave me so much hapiness...cnt tell u...hehe aftr our 1st chat i was addressn evry1 as divya by mistake durn lnch loll ;) imagnine lol..cos 2 mnths bw wen we'd left seemd like ages...ya i pretty much hav dat lousy feeln of missn hme n evry1 so often dat i keep sayn dat soon soranai eh poidum..feel so lost la...but am sure ull make grt frds der n den ull strt havn a blast n ull evn end up drnkn widout donny...but in dese sad times i gve u d permsn to do so...loll...n dat signallng reminds me of my proj only...use sum oder term nxt tme ;)but snce am wrkn on it ill fig out a way 2 activate ur pathwy long dist frm sngpr 2 aus lolll..wot say..miss u a lot bews n miss dose bewdi convsns ovr d phn 2 ....but hencfrth we l stay in const tch thru gtalk ;)cheeeeeeeeers !!!! gimme a smile :)

Anonymous said...

divs...u sound like ur dying n these are ur last days left!!!!!!!!bledy jackass!!!!!hang in there...m comin in nov to aussie lands..even if its for 2 days ll b wit u..:)..lol..m feeling all young n irresponible..n to top all the things ve been upto here...lol..without u to keep a check on me..hehe..babe..love u..don feel alone..i shall make it a habit of callin aussie..been lil kanjoos..sorry..:)..n wow!!!choosin tomatoes...god!!!cmon divya..:)..ve more to say..but already terrible long comment..so ll shtop..hehe

Div said...

tsb - My prof once said "there are only 3 people in the world who read a phd student's thesis. And if he's lucky, four. The first, is the student himeslf, the 2nd his supervisor, the 3rd the examiner and 4th, only if he's lucky, someone who stumbles upon it by chance". I think the same can apply to lab reports, and looks like u've been working really hard to be the "fourth" person ;)

Maybe summer will really cheer me up. But if it doesn't, i'll get back at you :D After all, i'm not the kind whoz spirits are lifted by seeing people playing cricket!

Tear ducts? yaikes! *runs*

Div said...

visu - Lets not get started abt chennai :( U think this is the sentiest huh? You haven't read my old posts! :) hope tsb makes a note of your comment ;)

Div said...

sand - a long distance way of triggering that pathway would be superawesome! Maybe i did use the signal pathway language on purpose ;) lol... just kidding... i think i've always used those words when it came to describing our cracking up sessions! Yeah i know u're going thro something similar! Feeling so lost...true... i guess we'll live through it, and reach the light at the end of the tunnel!

Div said...

shrut - I laughed so much after reading your first line!! You're coming in nov? yaaaaaayyyy! Amazing... :) just a month more! better make those 2 days sat n sunday! Cant waitttt! come soon!

Anonymous said...

you have this way of complementing people with honesty and without any flattery and make people feel better all the same..
love you! :)
and whatever happened to godsister?

Div said...

suk - I'm being all honest :) meant every word...

Godsister sounds good too! i guess i'll have to settle for it, cuz its all i can get! :)

Vinod Ramamoorthy said...

Ajeeb dastan hai ye .. Live it up .. The trick is to beat murphy. Give back to him what he gives u :)

And BTW were nt u feeling older while saree shopping too :D

Just reminding .. No mention :D

Nikhil said...

Am touched, Divs! :)

Am also annoyed that you did not listen to me and go home, but ok, you can make that up to me later. You know what my drink is, now ;-)

Div said...

nik - Lol :) i do, i do! With a slice of lemon ;)

Unknown said...

Too bad I wasnt born a boy. You know, I've always thought we were soulmates ;) heck. There still is time, we're still young, and can spend loads of time in each others company! Else I'll ask one research-oriented person I know if its possible to invent a time machine :P

Div said...

Jaishree - You always make me laugh! U're right, we ARE young! though i do feel quite the contorary! ;) the time machine works well with me :p make sure its a time machine, n not a rocket or something! :D

Kings Chaos said...

Phew!! That was good, kinda senti but true , when you are away from home ,and like in the cliche a not so strange but new place with unknown people,we realize many a things,It really hardens us up and we take care not to take things too lightly as before, because we would have realized how important things are.

These may be good memories but uplift us when we are totally down.

way to go ;)