Zendagi...Migzara, Smilingly

Life's weird. One longs for free time, but finds more bliss in work, and almost always wants to have something to do once free time plants itself in one's life. Isn't that weird? And here i am...apparently enjoying my holiday. Actually, i am. It's great to have something to do for a major part of the day, enjoy bike rides in the light drizzle, come back home to the people who are my source of entertainment and bliss, my laughs and hidden smiles, and enjoy the few hours of 'fursat'. The weirdness lies in the fact that my holiday is turning out to be much busier than my actual working days in college, but it is also, in some crazy way, more satisfying. Its like working in a true sense, for something whose outcome is definite, for something that you're going to earn, and something you've earned. Its satisfaction that one can only experience in seeing things happen the way they want it to happen. Maybe not quite, but something close to that.

And so time breezes past. Smilingly. Floatingly. Carries one with it, without letting realisation dawn upon the victim. It makes one smile for the smallest of things...laugh heartily for the silliest of things...its floaty bliss. I smile when thatha opens his father's day cards. I smile when paati sings 'kurai ondrum illai' to herself, hoping she means it. I smile when i remove my helmet to see strands of my hair strewn all over my face. I smile when i see the lights of an aeroplane from my bed, every 3 minutes. I smile when my mother calls herself a couch potato and complains about my dad not taking her out to buy groceries. I find those sessions immensely cute. I smile when my cousin calls me kutti divi. I smile when i have in my hand, hot bajjis from suriyas. I smile at paati's smile when she's holding my tea in her hand. I smile at 2 souls savouring orange kucchi ice, those smiles are definitely worth more than the 5 bucks spent on the orange kucchi ice. I smile when i deliberately switch on my parent's favourite songs. I smile at my psychic senses when i predict a power cut. I smile at my friend's craze on receiving her first captain Jack Sparrow poster. I smile at the longing i have for eggless chocolate cake that's baking in an oven thousands of miles away.

Thats alot of smiles :) This has been a different holiday. A holiday in which - i have not been stuck (read : addicted) to the computer - chatting, or watching movies, I havent had a chance to feel alone-ness or loneliness, I've had quite a perfect balance... between work and play, racing against time and floating along, realisations and non-realisations, regretting and being thankful, waiting and forgetting how it feels to be waiting, music...and silence. Maybe this is just the greener side. But hell, its greating just looking at things this way! Jab mile thodi fursat, khud se
karle mohabbat.

Yours "waiting, and forgetting how it feels to be waiting"ly
Signing off...