How does one handle the fear of becoming a nobody in life?
Of being dissolved into nothingness...
Of chosing the inappropriate course...
Of not being able to listen to one's heart well enough, because its not loud enough, and not being able to see the vision in one's mind clear enough, because its blurry...
Sometimes its just not enough how much ever you try. Maybe it never is. And its impossible to blame destiny, or anything or anyone else. Because you know theres something missing, and its too late to change it. And its not right to give up. But you feel like it. And then you're told its just the beginning...
If only...If only, i could hear that inner calling loud and clear. If only i could get myself to steer my ship myself, and in the right direction. If only this confused state of mind could disappear when i wake up tomorrow morning, and a new perspective, a new plan, could infest my mind and get me working. If only...
I've been told time and again that i do alot of thinking that almost always ends up in nothing. Maybe that is actually true. But what's there to execute when the thinking's not over? Or cant be over?
Yours"looking for the light"ly
Signing off...
9 comments:
what is, being "somebody"? and can thinking ever be "over"? It's not possible to just throw something away from your mind, is it?
you know they say, the trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent doubtful. even though it's in a different context, enjoy the darkness, if that's possible.
thanks suk, i'd liek to belive that thing u said! and no, its not the enjoying types... royally sucks.
and yes, my kinda thinking can be over. once the decision is reached... its just a matter of time. and its killing!
ok, I get the point. and you can take your own torch you no..
suk - yes i can. But i believe i respect my family's sentiments... its ok, we'll come around hopefully.
It's always a compromise, the pull between what you want and what you are wanted to do. And yes, the endless thinking kills, its like chasing your own tail. But then, as far as I have seen, it's never futile. There some essense of clarity hidden behind all that blur, and when th blur blurs, the clarity shines through. It's a question of time. And anyways, I'd rather have it this way round!
suchitra - Thankyou. That not only sounded believable, and right, but also beautiful. Lets hope the blur blurs and the clarity shines through :)
right..
Dont worry .. Lights will guide you home ! :)
Just live this moment .. i know easier said than done ..But try :)
vinod - thanks :) will do wat i can!
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