More to 'tying the knot' than you think!

They say...marriages are made in heaven. True. But lets just rephrase that a little to read,not marriages, just the 'couples' are ,made in heaven. Now i can suddenly visualise our dear God sitting and making 'poruthams' between a girl and a guy, something that josiars do again, just incase ;-). Now that we're settled on just 'couples' are made in heaven, shall we discuss where marriages are made? Marriages...are made in huge, noisy, decorated,over-crowded kalyana mandapams, or marriage halls should we say, where one can easily get lost, or easily get caught in the claws of some good ol' maami who wants to know your age for some devious reason! And point to be noted - the maami will always hold your wrist! Maybe because she knows you're waiting to run away in the first OPPORTUNE MOMENT (now do you know where i got that from!) hmmm, wicked! Oh just ignore me! I have attended 2 marriages, 2 days in a row! One was a family friend's, and i knew i had to go, but the second...believe it or not, was my grand-dad's sister's son's wife's elder sister's daughter's marriage! I am definitely not kidding you! Let me be truthful, i go there for the food! And imagine my plight when both kalyanams had the SAME Goddam menu! SAME STUFF! How unfortunate? I was starting to hope i had paati's rasam sadam for dinner! Only the dessert was different, and well, dessert is never my area, so *sad*! There are some things that i just HAVE to point out about these weddings... aah, am loving this! A typical tamil, brahmin marriage (reception) will have the following features, without fail :

1.A loooong queue waiting to congratulate the bride and groom. SO long that you would prefer the queue at sathyam cinemas because there, atleast you get to watch a movie after the queue! Here, you'll go and say congratulations, and neither the bride nor the groom will recognise you, but they'll be all super sweet and say thanks so much for making it, and then we, the extremely glad people, will have a teeth show for the flashes!Point to be noted - the mamas and maamis standing infront of you in the queue will invariably HUG their gifts like someone's waiting to grab it and present it as their gift! And i always feel like saying "Maami, pattu podavai kasangida pordhu, paathu!"(your silk saree is going to get ruffled up!)

2.Music. Or thats what its called most of the time. It generally means having this famous, or not-so-famous carnatic vocalist singing her/his throat off, when she/he is nothing but IGNORED. All you have is a few thathas or mamas sitting in the first row and pretending to listen, but promptly clapping after every song gets over. WHY do they have to put themselves through this? OR you have something called a LIGHT music 'orchestra' that makes such heavy music that the vibration seems to penetrate right to your stomach and make you feel like you could do with a puke! Their base gets inside you! Its just too loud for the hall...oh damn. It doesn't matter if you are sitting 100 miles from the speaker, it just reverberates! And it feels like you're walking into a one way street called deafness!

3.FOOD. THE issue! People like my thatha always aim for the 1st 'pandhi' and wont leave without drinking 2 payasams! And he's very proud of it :D But well, the trend seems to be changing. Receptions no longer have "yellai sapadu" (on banana leaves) , with the traditional rice with one karandi of ghee, and the payasam and vadai. Thats just for lunch! Receptions have what they call BUFFET (read:painful system where you don't know whether to concentrate on putting the food into your mouth without embarassing yourself, or holding the plate without pouring its contents onto the pattu saree of the aunty almost sticking to you in the crowd!"!) With north indian cuisine, chaat, bandha dessert. Yesterday for instance, the dessert was grand. There was ras malai, srikhand, carrot halwa, and vanilla icecream with chocolate sauce optional! What the hell is one expected to eat! I settled for the first and the last :D And you'll definitely have the famous line - "Shaaptela mama?"!caution - if there's ever a paneer sabzi on the menu, please be satisfied with eating the gravy, because the paneer cubes, tempting though they may look, are either never cooked, or too hard to bite and so unfair on my braced teeth! Am i a foodie or what! sapaduraami!

I could go on forever...with the pattu podavais and jewellery and the 'Oh nee avarodu ponna, ivaroda pethiyaa's and the 'divya vaa idhu? ipdi valandhutaale!"s and meeting up with some distant people you've never heard of, and mind you, it will never ever be some smart looking chap that you can have a time pass conversation with! The latest trends in weddings - youngsters who are forced to attend - Laugh at the cellphone, message till their fingers fall out, seem BUSY! Maybe i shouldn't be talking about that? I was doing exactly that! No other choice you see! and trend 2 is with the brides... don't know what happened to doing some cool hairstyles...Its just hair let lose, falling down. And its almost always artificially straightened. Come on brides! Do something different ;-) And... my paati's sly questions when one is getting dressed for the ocassion are not to be missed...what fuss she makes on jewellery! The more the fuss, the more i feel like not wearing the stuff...lol. Her line - "oru kalyanathuku pona, naalu per varuva ma, idhalaam potukanom!" My line -"Paati, yenaka kalyanam?" She - "Solardhu kelu ma!" So much for being a girl!!

Now this doesn't mean that when you invite me for your wedding, i will whine like this before coming. NO. Attending weddings of people you know personally is a very nice experience...it makes me happy. It makes me so happy, i can never explain. When one of my relatives got married, i almost cried when the thaali was being tied...its such a moment u know...:) and suddenly, i understood why mothers and fathers cry after that moment. Its such a bittersweet moment. Its lovely.

So i'd like to end by saying, am looking forward to having a good time at your wedding ;-)and i'll definitely do a post on it! :D

PS: for those of you who had a prob with the tamil lines, pl ask! Just din have the patience to translate, am sorry... :) (i think thats only for nik!)

Yours "why don't one of you just get married?"ly
Signing off...