Ironies...in life.

Another exam postponed. And this time, it'll be between 19th n 23rd dec. Beat that...rains are bad. Well... this just means that the trip i was s'posed to make to kenya around the same time is not likely to happen...damn. I was looking forward to it. WHY!! For people who do not know... i stay in chennai with my grandparents and my cousin. My mom shuttles between Kenya (where my dad works and stays) and good ol chennai. My brother's studying in australia. So... i was
s'posed to spend some time with my parents in kenya, where i began my schooling... i stayed there for abt 11 years. And its one place that is very very different from chennai in every Goddamn aspect. But i like both places equally... I've been in chennai for the past 5 years... i must say its taught me alot. To start with, chennai gives the freedom i couldn't have experienced where i stayed before...And...living with your grand-parents alone ( i mean, without your parents being around) is a different experience altogether. Has its own pros n cons...You really don't know what the hell they expect from you. Sometimes, i feel like i'm s'posed to play my mother's role in the family when shez not around here. And that has made me realise how much she does... n how much her presence means to people around her. Beginning of a life long
admiration...

U know its funny how we do a few things in the absence of a few people...and we'd never bother to do it if they are around...Let me explain. My mother likes the house clean (as all mothers do i expect)... she'll keep tidying our living room, arranging newspapers, changing the water in the flower vase, making sure the 'divaan' sheet is in place, and screaming at me if i leave something out of place... and I wud never bother. I'd claim to have other work to do... will have any excuse to not tidy up. But, the part of the year when shez not here, i do her work religiously... just cuz she would like the house to be that way. I keep my study table clean cuz she usually insists on it...I don't even know why...Everytime i eat, i remember not to make any noises, loud or not, cuz my dad doesn't like it. But hell, my dad's not here! I see him once a year or less often! I still make sure i stick to it...Its really funny...Sometimes, i even iron my already-pressed clothes, cuz my brother believes that properly pressed clothes are very very important... i used to make fun of how much time he spent every morning pressing his clothes.I use the word 'spent' now... used to use 'wasted' before! Wierd things in life huh?

And living with old people... or people 2 generations ahead of you...in the absence of the generation that's s'posed to fit in the middle... is something i think everyone should do at some point in life, even though it gets very frustrating at times. All the cuddling and the spoiling and pampering is when you meet them rarely... You know people say that grandparents and grandchildren have a common enemy...? Maybe its not so true... because the enemy is someone
who is 'needed'. Without who the generation gap's problems just become as prominent and clear as a black spot in the centre of a plain white sheet. Atleast i feel like am in a generation lost in space... But more than that... u don't know who needs to take care of who. My parents have left me under the care of my grandparents...and yes, they do take care of me alot. But its so mutual...sometimes i feel like i'm the one taking care of them more! They can be so obstinate, throw tantrums, put on long faces when they cant get their work done, and obv need the younger people to do all the 'buying' work...all the households...in addition to what is done inside the house. And they expect you to handle it... I'm definitely not complaining... because i believe that what's going on, is sort of wrong, and very unfair to my grandparents. Its like they
haven't had enough of bringing up their own kids... and now they've got more responsibility. Its their turn to rest...to dwell in the silent hills of their childhood...and enjoy time's olden memories that are good and sweet. But again...you can't explain something of this sort to helpless parents... who know what they're doing is not the best thing in the world, but really can't help it.
And that leaves all of us here helpless... which has made me come to the conclusion that helplessness is one of the worst feelings in the world.

So...as life moves on...and we've accepted things the way they are...we share bliss in small things... i love sitting on the kitchen slabs while my grndmom's cooking and hold small talk with her (invariably she'll be talking abt her family, and my mom as a kid)...and i really don't mind chauffering (on my bike) my grand-dad to the temple anymore...and i make sure my grandmom does the least work possible, cuz shez not even s'posed to be doing anything if you look at it
from a 'what's fair' point of view...and now, i think my grandmom's the sweetest person in the world... and i think my grand-dad's one person whoz learnt alot from life, and that he wants to impart his worldly knowledge to his children's children, which is not a bad thing at all. And the kind of smile that comes on to your face with those slight tears in your eyes which do not trace their way down your cheeks, when your grandmom's telling your parents how proud she is of
you and how happy she is... is something to die for. And i mean it.





Am not going to apologise for boring u...kinda do that in almost all my posts.
This post was straight from the heart...and something i never thought i'd ever
post about. And after all... its my blog...


Signing off....