Lost

Too many things to express. I hope i don't do it all in this post...it will make a really bad mix of things. Will confuse too many things...yet, i have neither the patience, nor the will to take up each thing in a different post. Its not like i don't have time...hell, i'm on a holiday. But its been 3 days since i touched the comp...something that so doesn't happen when i'm quite joblessly sitting at home, or rather, some place i once called home.

Maybe i'll start with today... My parents and I were heading towards the temple. A place that is visited atleast once a week by the people of this house, and this means they must be familair with the route.But mydad took a wrong turning. And the series of events that unfolded after that made me laugh no end! We were lost. Totally. And my dad was askin everyone who was walkin on the road for directions...n we seemed to be going in circles and returning to the same place! It was really funny to hear my parents blame each other,quarrel.and to hear my father swear so sincerely in tamil at how these people were so dumb and how it was the last time he would ever ask them for directions! But in this whole confusion, something else happened. I was looking at a part of the city that i'd never laid eyes on before...and it was utter beauty. I don't even know why this country is said to be un-developed or rather, 'developing'. Nothing that meets the eye will support that...lovely houses, lush greenery, huge malls, and the most hospitable people i've ever met. And i was the only one in the car enjoying this...and laughing. It was truly a very comforting sight...something that makes the mind relax...think...and smile.

I didn't post about the new year safari. i really didn't want to bore the hell out of you. But that doesn't mean that i didn't enjoy it. Trips like those are seldom forgotten. I'll send you guys the photos asap. I did tell you that i was going to a place where they wake people up with buzzers through the night as and when animals come to drink at the salt lake. Our luck, there wasn't a single buzzer. Not many animals...but this place hasviewing galleries made of glass,allows you to view the lake. And it also has one open gallery...I was there, alone, for quite sometime. It was chill, and drizzling...a very starry sky...and an elephant, few hyenas, loads of buffaloes, deers and birds to stare at...starry skies always turn me on. There's something about them...don't know why i love staring at constellations...and talking to stars. Don't know if thats good or bad. Anyway, there are a million things we don't know, so i'd rather not ponder over small stuff. I had gone with a gang that preferred sleeping in the cold...they were all in bed before 10, and i just couldn't do that. I sat in one of the galleries (closed)...was looking through the glass at the lake. And thats when i felt like talking to somebody. Wished like hell that one of u people could just appear before me...or my bro or cousin...someone. Its the kind of place where you should go with the right company...you'll enjoy it more. I swear someday, i'm taking you guys there... if not all, atleast a few. Atleast one. For me, it was music that saved the day...sat there, listening...for a very long time. And then i gave up, and went to bed. We had great food, and the place rocked. And we're beyond going for safaris to see the animals, done too much of that...hence, had a great time.

I Love the colour green...love what i see around this place. There's this road here which has jacaranda trees (trees that get covered with small purple flowers...that usually drop to the ground and form a carpet on the roads) on either side. Its lovely. I guess some things, we don't notice till they mean something to us. Maybe in the past 4 years (since my last trip) or 6 years ( since i last lived here) things have happened that make me notice a few things...i never appreciated all this before. Funny...i know it sounds silly to say maybe i've 'grown'...but maybe that is true. I just feel like getting lost...in what i see. You know, there are times when we all just sit blank, with nothing at all running through our heads...just staring, in awe, in wonder, in gratitude, in nothingness, or in complete-ness. Thats how it feels. But when I do realise that i want to get lost there...feel like i'm already lost, in a nowhere. In an empty void...or in an abyss. Lots of useless nothing. Still, i feel like i'm staring at a dream...looking at a dream...its unbelievable. Its breath-taking. There's too much life...too much to handle, with nothing to handle. Its difficult sometimes when everything falls into place...you always feel like there's something wrong when things happen perfectly. I don't think i could pull this longer. You'll think i'm off my rocker, if you don't already think so.

Have to mention this...how much ever i enjoy this place, or any other place...chennai's always home. Don't get that sort of freedom anywhere...and, its more the atmosphere...who cares abt other things? Thats where life is now...thats where the music is...the heart is. Damn chennai...

The trees, the stars and the blue hills ache with a pain that can never be uttered in words.
- Rabindranath Tagore.


Signing off...