Ironies in life 2

We take life for granted. We take our health for granted. We take Nature's mechanism of correcting flaws and being almost perfect for granted. At times there are things that wake you up from your trance of 'taking for granted' and show you the real plight that you may go through. Some sort of self realisation...some sort of enlightenment. A feeling that makes you ask yourself whether you're worth this existence... It all happened to me in a single day...

We hardly compare hospitals to indian railway stations. But you will when you see this one. Hundreds of people - with stickers holding numbers stuck to their shirts - sitting, sleeping, standing in a single room...their faces unknown to you, unknown to each other. Yet, they are bound by a single cause - survival. The love to live, to see another sunrise, to see their families extend through generations, to make the best use of their days before the ugly truth of mortality dawns upon them, to distance themselves from wasted mortality - a fate none escape. The Madras Cancer Institute. The battleground for a war between life and death, between hope and despair, between Darkness and light. Strange, how people dedicate their lives to a cause. Strange, how you visit a place for an entirely different reasons from those hundreds of unknown faces. Strange, how the phrase 'We are just a mutation or two away from a disease' can have such an impact on you...like the distance between a disease and your own self, is smaller than an angstrom in your body...just one wrong step in your DNA base pairs, and its gone. And you or me could be the 11 year old girl who walked into the lab today with blood cancer, leukemia, half her hair missing, a mask tied to her face, her parents weeping for the mercy of the Lord, not knowing what to blame this unexpectedly painful fate on. Destiny.

A few hours later, a heavy heart, ghosts of those faces flashing through my mind, the wind whistling secrets of time, vehicles tearing past, the sun fulfilling the only cause it exists for - blazing sincerely - a new feeling slapped my heart. Shaking the heaviness...like a source of turbulence. People moving towards destinations far and high, moving on with life, unaware of the 'faces' that could haunt...its so difficult to believe that there are people who don't know, don't care, about the ones fighting for life...The truth of the world. It seems so ridiculous, so impossible, for a kid to cry about the wrong flavour of chips, when someone may not know what chips means, and someone else may never taste it ever again. The unfortunate truth that you and me are a part of. Its some sort of race that is impossible to win. Its a rat race. Vehicles descending the bridge on that hot afternoon gave me the feel of that rat race. The metaphors we draw out of life could be unbelievably numerous, and sometimes, unexpectedly apt.

Further down the road...that seemed more that of life, than of traffic signals and endless traffic...a little boy skipping happily, singing some tune, walking alone, smiling. He must have had a nice day. And somewhere close by, a long haired old man, talks to himself, or to somone only his eyes have the priviledge of seeing. No smile, no song, no happiness. Just a hollowness in those eyes, a face looking so consumed. The difference...one full of life, the other, a mere existence. This brought into my head 2 words that may hold no connection to the people, but have some vague link - Alone-ness and loneliness. Often confused. One can enjoy alone-ness. One should experience it once in a while, to rejuvenate the spirit and spend time with one's own mind...But loneliness, is more often the companion. Loneliness, that can surround you like a cocoon, and with reference to this post, grow on you like a cancer...loneliness a word that differs by just one letter from loveliness, but has a world of a difference in reality.

Nothing in life is permanent, except change. I've read that a million times...And it somehow paved its way into my head a few hours later...when i watched aeroplanes fly past me, every 4 minutes, on a starless, moon-less night...just a light breeze, and the smell of hot summer in the air. We make the best of things that come our way, and we enjoy the company of a few people. They come, they go, but they are given a little space in some corner of our minds, so full of thoughts. am still waiting for the day they'll report an over-flow! Sometimes i feel like we're all used by one another in a way. Its all the need of the moment...all for a purpose. Nothing in life is purpose-less, nothing in life is insignificant. Everything in life ultimately has a place, an impact and a meaning. And thats what the words on my blog title says...

But there's something beyond people...beyond the words we utter, beyond the beauty of language, beyond mundane routine, beyond the things we do and don't do, and the reasons for that. I'd like to believe there is something beyond that. Some purpose to this existence? A reason to why we are this way...The inner person. Fake.True. Depending on situations...Locked.Open. Depending on the people. Hideous. Beautiful. Depending on the conscience. Disconnected. Involved. Depending on the state of mind. Hurt. Pacified. Depending on the reasons...reasons that are born within, dwell within, and die within...reasons, that never come out. Reasons that stay unrevealed for a reason. The irony that is called life. The irony greater than any... Irony.

Quite a long post. Vinay, dono if its the one you ordered. but if it is even close to that, the bill comes up to - a)person to comment most no.of times on the post. b)Not showing a hint of a smile or a 'feel-good' feeling. c)updating your blog with a decent post regularly!!!

Yours truly
Signing off....